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Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 7.4

by ExOmelas


Despite Buck's apathy towards the mood-killing chronicle, he had to admit that it was a good opportunity to showcase his voice. He especially enjoyed singing about battles which ended in huge bloody messes, because he was able to raise his pitch to a thin, haunted tone. He'd always been able to sing surprisingly high pitched, and he thought it lent his sadder songs a plaintive innocence. From the moments when he glanced around to check Princess Myal's reaction, her wide eyes seemed to agree.

He kept his eyes fixed on a spot two thirds of the way up the far off wall, looking distant as he sang of troubled times. So when he looked down at the crowd as his song came to a close, he was pleasantly surprised to find that everyone was staring at him with jaws hanging open. The fight had been completely brought to an end. When he'd been silent for a few moments, applause started to spread. He offered the crowd a bow, straightened, then turned to face the princess and bowed again.

"That was beautiful!" Dorrea cried, rushing forward to wrap him in a hug. Buck staggered back slightly. He'd been intending to say a few words to the crowd, but instead found himself burying his face in the warmth of his mum's shawl.

When they pulled apart, he cleared his throat and said, "Thank you, mum. I'm glad you got to see me sing."

"Me too," she said, squeezing his arm.

He turned back to the crowd and said, "Well now, if I can do that anyone can. Let's get this night going!"

"Thank you so much for that beautiful rendition, Buttane," Myal said, rising from her throne to stand beside him. "Please, if any more of you would like to sing come to the front and give your name to Feni."

Buck smiled at her as a scribe shuffled up to the side of the stage, holding a piece of parchment and a battered grey quill.

"My pleasure, your Highness," he said, giving her one more quick bow.

Once he was down off the stage, with his mum and Olean in tow, Victane rushed up to him. He stopped, his arms clearly going up for a hug, but then he glanced behind Buck, towards Dorrea, and stopped himself. Buck smiled, wondering if he felt awkward showing affection for Buck in front of his actual parent. He hugged Victane anyway, then gave Hilene a high five.

"That was incredible!" Hilene exclaimed. "I've never heard you sing with so few jokes."

"And hopefully you won't again any time soon," Buck said, leading his friends towards one of the tables around the side of the room. "I almost put myself to sleep."

"No, it was really good," Hilene said as they all settled down onto the stone benches. "Powerful."

It seemed so powerful, in fact, that barely five minutes later Hilene had signed himself up to sing. Buck stared at Victane as he headed over to a scribe who was compiling an order.

"Did you know he could sing?" Buck asked.

Victane shook his head, eyes wide. "I did not. Frankly, I still don't. Gods, I hope he can."

Hilene came back moments later because a sudden flux of sign-ups had meant he was now fourth on the list Nevertheless, the next singer began, then the next, then the next. By the time it was Hilene's turn, the hall had filled with song and dance of surprisingly varied genres for being spread over only three songs.

He was pretty good, as it turned out. His voice was quiet and clearly nervous, but he managed to sing an old spooky Resadorian folk tale about the dead coming back to life. Everyone in the hall seemed to love it, even if it had originated in a place they weren't familiar with. Buck brought Hilene a drink and clapped him on the back as he came down off the stage. He praised him the whole way back to their table, where Victane hugged him so hard he lifted him up into the air.

Hilene drank quickly, then immediately bounced up to dance. Buck grinned as he took his hand and joined on the end of the Strip the Willow line. He could barely comprehend that this was the same Hilene who'd barely looked up from his puzzle box whenever Buck had passed through the city gates.

Buck danced with Hilene for a while, then Dorrea, then Olean, then stranger after stranger until his feet felt like they were made of sharp metal and he had to go take a seat. He wasn't so dazed, however, that he didn't notice the shepherd they'd spoken to on the way in, the one who'd tried to break up the fight. He was sitting by himself in the corner, staring into space with a furrowed brow. Buck had a feeling he wasn't intentionally putting on a distant, plaintive expression like Buck had during his song.

He flopped down on the bench next to the shepherd and stretched, yawning. "Hey, it's Raddig, right?"

The shepherd had jumped a little when he sat down. Now he blinked and focused on Buck.

"Yes, that's my name," he said. "What's yours?"

"Buttane," said Buck, without even hesitating. He was getting good at this. "My mum is Dorrea. Do you know her?"

"Oh, I know Dorrea," he said, crossing his arms, but offered no explanation. He chewed on his bottom lip. "Is that what Erson is doing down south? Dancing and having fun?"

"Maybe." Buck shrugged, anxious not to give off the impression that he'd come straight from where Erson was.

"I doubt it," Raddig said. "That man's never cracked a smile in his life. I doubt I'll ever see him dancing. But if he's stayed longer in Resador... maybe..."

Buck clicked back into the mindset for this sort of conversation. "What did you mean, by the way, that the queen didn't like you? I know she has mixed feelings on shepherds at the mom-"

"No, no, nothing like that," Radding said, staring into space again. "It's more personal..." He tailed off then suddenly stood up.

"Would you like to dance?" Buck blurted.

Radding whirled around to face him. "What? No! I'm not like you and that southern boy. I don't know what you do down there but up here it's not like that."

Buck sat back, letting him leave, as the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place. He stood up, and spotted his mum sitting at the table they'd originally taken. He jogged over to her.

"Mum," he said, tapping her on the shoulder. "Could I talk to you somewhere? Somewhere quieter?"

It was only at that moment that he noticed Victane sitting on her other side. His hands were in the air in front of him, as if he were in the middle of a hand gesture accompanying an interesting story.

"Uh, later is fine," said Buck.

Dorrea chuckled and stood up. "Don't worry, now is fine. I'll be back, Victane."

Victane gave her a quick, abbreviated wave, then turned back to his drink with bright red cheeks.

Dorrea led Buck across the dancefloor, which Princess Myal was looking down on with a wide, beaming grin. Then she took him into a corridor, and around to a smaller room with eight tables lined up neatly in two rows of four. Buck strode to the furthest away one and sat down.

"Mum, I need to ask you a few questions about Raddig."

"Och, you're not still worried about him, are you?" Dorrea took his hand. "He's just grumpy all the time."

"Mum, this is important," Buck said, taking his hand away to bring his parchment out of his pocket. "Do people share his views?"

"About southerners, folks with darker skin? Oh, a few maybe, but most keep it to themselves," she said.

Buck nodded, scribbling a few words. "What about other things, other views? Did you notice anyone looking at me and Hilene kind of funny when we were dancing together?"

"Again, maybe a few..."

"And Raddig seemed very anxious to express those views. Now, usually that just means someone's particularly sure of themselves, but Raddig was very curious about Erson, and whether he might one day see him dance," Buck said, feeling a grin coming on.

But Dorrea frowned. "Well, even if that is true don't spill the boy's secrets. There's plenty of people who find the prince very handsome."

Buck waved his hands in the air. "Of course not, especially not in an environment like this. But I think it's interesting that Raddig would be so curious about whether Erson had been loosening up or whatever, especially since Erson's mother famously doesn't like him. You'd think he'd just want to forget about the family and dance the night away."

Buck was gesturing wildly with his quill and his mum's eyes were following it. When he stopped moving, she blinked and focused on him.

"I think I may have predicted your next question, my clever, clever boy. You've remembered someone else the queen doesn't like, haven't you?" Dorrea looked at him, searching his eyes.

Buck nodded. "The queen also doesn't like whoever Erson is in love with."

"Buttane," Dorrea hissed, grabbing his hand and settling his quill down on the table top. "You have to stop right now. If you've got this right... This isn't court gossip! Erson, however inflexible he can sometimes be, is a good person. You cannot just go telling his secrets."

"Of course. I wouldn't dream of it," Buck said, nodding even as he tried to figure out how the hell this situation could end in Erson's marriage to Pires.


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Tue Jun 23, 2020 7:01 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And here comes the end of Chapter 7.

First Impression: Serious plot twist. I have to say I kinda predicted that the prince's lover would be a man. So Yaaay me!! And also great little dance party there.

Despite Buck's apathy towards the mood-killing chronicle, he had to admit that it was a good opportunity to showcase his voice. He especially enjoyed singing about battles which ended in huge bloody messes, because he was able to raise his pitch to a thin, haunted tone. He'd always been able to sing surprisingly high pitched, and he thought it lent his sadder songs a plaintive innocence. From the moments when he glanced around to check Princess Myal's reaction, her wide eyes seemed to agree.


Oh looks like Buck is going to get some good recognition.

"That was beautiful!" Dorrea cried, rushing forward to wrap him in a hug. Buck staggered back slightly. He'd been intending to say a few words to the crowd, but instead found himself burying his face in the warmth of his mum's shawl.

When they pulled apart, he cleared his throat and said, "Thank you, mum. I'm glad you got to see me sing."

"Me too," she said, squeezing his arm.


This was a really sweet moment.

Once he was down off the stage, with his mum and Olean in tow, Victane rushed up to him. He stopped, his arms clearly going up for a hug, but then he glanced behind Buck, towards Dorrea, and stopped himself. Buck smiled, wondering if he felt awkward showing affection for Buck in front of his actual parent. He hugged Victane anyway, then gave Hilene a high five.


Some interesting thoughts there.

He was pretty good, as it turned out. His voice was quiet and clearly nervous, but he managed to sing an old spooky Resadorian folk tale about the dead coming back to life. Everyone in the hall seemed to love it, even if it had originated in a place they weren't familiar with. Buck brought Hilene a drink and clapped him on the back as he came down off the stage. He praised him the whole way back to their table, where Victane hugged him so hard he lifted him up into the air.


Wait so Hillene has never ever sung a song before in one of the taverns at least once.

Buck clicked back into the mindset for this sort of conversation. "What did you mean, by the way, that the queen didn't like you? I know she has mixed feelings on shepherds at the mom-"

"No, no, nothing like that," Radding said, staring into space again. "It's more personal..." He tailed off then suddenly stood up.


Nice bit of subtle foreshadowing their to the eventual reveal later in the chapter.

"Would you like to dance?" Buck blurted.


This come a little out of the blue. Like why would decide to randomly blurt out a request like that?

It was only at that moment that he noticed Victane sitting on her other side. His hands were in the air in front of him, as if he were in the middle of a hand gesture accompanying an interesting story.


Well that's an interesting position. Again good to see how much Buck is interested in getting this one and his underlying curiosity about him in general is well written her.

"I think I may have predicted your next question, my clever, clever boy. You've remembered someone else the queen doesn't like, haven't you?" Dorrea looked at him, searching his eyes.


Oh I love the way in which this is revealed. Instead of telling it directly its just made indirectly clear exactly who we are talking about.

"Of course. I wouldn't dream of it," Buck said, nodding even as he tried to figure out how the hell this situation could end in Erson's marriage to Pires.


Well his job just got ridiculously hard and possibly impossible.

And that's it for this.

Overall: Great description. And a really great plot twist too. Makes this whole thing get very interesting now.

This one may be a little on the short side and I don't think there was much to point out. As always take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




ExOmelas says...


Frankly I'm just impressed by your speed at this point :P And really high quality reviews as well, which isn't always easy to maintain! Some really good points you've noted, so thank you :D



KateHardy says...


Your Welcome!! This has been a really interesting story to follow.



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Tue Mar 31, 2020 9:04 pm
Ventomology wrote a review...



OH SNAP.

What a deduction, Buck.

But oh man, people who assume romance is inherent in dancing are kind of sad to be around. Let loose, Raddig! Have some fun.

I did really like the energy of the dance... scene? Montage? Paragraph? I have no idea what Strip the Willow Line is, and it probably isn't that important, but it might have been cool to sneak a few steps into the descriptions there. That said, you shouldn't sacrifice the way it blurs the action and is just like, fun in general.

It has been a while and maybe I missed other details but... is Raddig the entire reason why the queen doesn't like shepherds right now? Did he doom his fellows by catching the prince? Poor boy. That'd be an awful position to be in. Like Jabber, I was pretty meh about him because of the maaybe homophobic comments, but after Buck put the pieces together I started getting excited. Like, obviously his form of repressing his feelings isn't great, but he's more interesting as a character now that we have some context for his actions. I can't wait to get all caught up and see what he's about!

Lastly, I can't help but wonder... is Buck's goal of getting Erson and Pires to marry one way that he messes up? Like generally, it's not a great idea to pursue only one solution, and I bet Pires can get the other things that she wanted out of the marriage through some other means... but I guess I'll find out!

Lovely work as always. Until next time,
-Vento




ExOmelas says...


Hiya! It's actually been a while for me as well but I don't think the Queen didn't like shepherds, it was just a sore subject? Like, I remember her talking them up in the meeting hall with Pires, then someone pointed out that she'd sent them all away, then nobody had wanted to bring it up again... hm no but I have mentioned it here... I think she was just meant to be being a hypocrite and I honestly can't remember xD I need to reread that chapter aha

Thanks for the review :D



ExOmelas says...


Okay so I had to research my own story and this was the sentiment:
Rydone had explained to Buck that ever since the meeting he'd been in the rafters for, if someone in the city referred to 'shepherds' in the same sentence as the Queen, that could be roughly translated as 'the Queen's war is pointless, and she's a bigger fool than Bucket for engaging in it.' 'Bigger fool than Bucket' was a phrase Buck had often heard thrown around in drunken Resadorian arguments, but he'd never have imagined hearing it applied to a queen.

So it's more that it's just a bit of a sensitive subject that people aren't bringing up around her. Her disdain for foreign imports conflicts with the fact that she sent half her population off to war. (There will be waaaay more worldbuilding in the second draft aha). Let me know if that still doesn't make sense :)



Ventomology says...


ahhh



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Wed Jan 29, 2020 2:46 pm
JabberHut wrote a review...



YAAAAY PRINCESS LOVED IT! :clap:

omg this was such a lovely victorious moment for Buck, that his talents at song and story rang true even here in the valley. People seemed to honestly enjoy the performance, and the fact that it encouraged others to do the same after him is HUGE. All these people with music buried deep in their bones now feel vindicated after Buck's song, and the princess' approval only encouraged them. It's so beautiful!! <3

I LOVE HILENE. It was so cute seeing Hilene so energetic and just into it here at the party. Even Buck noticed it, pointing out how strange it is to see this kind of behavior out of him. BUT WE ALL JUST LOVE IT, TOO. This DEFINITELY proves that he's feeling far more comfortable here than in Resador, even knowing there's a certain amount of prejudice against him here. I think that might actually say a lot about his discomfort in Resador than his comfort here. VERY INTRIGUING.

YAY! We address the shepherd in the room!! (ahaha I just made myself laugh out loud.) I am legitimately happy, though, that we do speak with him, seeing as we saw him in the room earlier breaking up a fight. There's obviously more to his opinions and his character, and he also seems open enough that we can get some answers out of him. So having Buck talk with him and accidentally uncovering some opinions from the shepherd was huge and I liked it.

Also, the shepherd's reaction to Buck asking him to dance was hilarious. xD TOTALLY RELATABLE.

OH GOD DOES THE QUEEN NOT LIKING THE SHEPHERD -- omg does it have to do with the shepherds being sent to war. was he the one that maybe stood up to her OR MAYBE HE REBELLED AS A SOLDIER or omg i bet it has something to do with that BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT

You also do such a great job with this shepherd basically a living symbol in your story of the prejudice and traditional-extremists in the world. All of his opinions sound very familiar, making the situation itself instantly relatable, and we are quick to note the evils from our protagonist's point-of-view. It's well done, I think.

DORREA AND VICTANE <3 <3 <3 ALL ABOARD THE VICTORREA SHIP!!!

omg I want to hear a piece of Victane's story, it looks so fascinating aND I BET HE'S DRANK A LITTLE TOO. I love Victane.

The exchange between Buck and Dorrea feels like an interview or interrogation. XD I do love, once again, that we bring in Buck's parchment into play here. AND I love that Dorrea stops him from writing to make herselef clear how dangerous that information can be. I worried that if Buck wrote that kind of stuff down, and the parchment got lost... ogod.

I do wonderrr gosh, I can't remember when Buck left home, but have things changed since he left? Or maybe he wasn't as aware of his neighbors' opinions back then, and now after his stay in Resador, it's suddenly a relatable topic for him? Or perhaps, his past with his mother next ran into these kinds of scenarios, so he was never exposed to this kind of opinion until now? I can't remember how his past with his mother lines up in his timeline. Food for thought, though!




ExOmelas says...


Hmm... was it not clear that Raddig's reaction to Buck asking to dance with him was "what no i'm not gay" except not actually saying it? It wasn't exactly meant to be relatable so i worry i'm not getting that across :/

Did the reveal of why it actually is that the queen doesn't like him land? I was caught between wanting it to be a huge bombshell that Erson is in love with him, like essentially they're boyfriends (and his homophobia is a mask to keep his secret) and not sensationalising that too much. I really don't like when queer characters are just used as a bombshell, which is why Dorrea is like Buck, don't be so flippant but I do need a big reveal for the pacing.

Buck did leave here really quite young but I did mean to have the sentence "Oh yeah, I forgot people weren't okay with that up here." The first scene of the next chapter is going to be a really chill discussion between Buck and the two guards about sexuality, so I should be able to deal with that then.

Thanks for the review :D



JabberHut says...


I see what you mean, and I honestly did consider his turning down the dance offer as a quip on homosexuality, but I think it was vague enough that I didn't hone in on the idea that RADDIG was gay and trying to hide it? "We don't do that up here" was definitely clear to me that yeah, it's probably weird for two guys two dance with each other in that area. And I just found it funny 'cause I've heard that several times, living in a similarly traditional area. It was very real to me. And in my mind, since he had been awkward about Hilene's skin color before, I just grouped him as a grumpy guy who hates untraditional views. Therefore, when he thought about Erson possibly dancing in Resador, I pictured him with a scowl about the idea, like somehow Erson lost his "manliness".

I'll even admit that I suspected Erson to be gay and had been more than eager to know who Erson's lover, so that much has been built up well!

But I didn't come to the conclusion that it was Raddig who was Erson's lover, and maybe I should have and I'm just foggy from my cold. I think he hinted at it well enough that it wouldn't surprise me later, but he's still such a minor character in my head that I'm not really considering that as a possibility yet.

Hopefully another reader can give more insight, though, as to how it was delivered!!



ExOmelas says...


Oh heck I may have really messed up. That was meant to be clear from Buck and Dorrea%u2019s conversation. If it%u2019s not clear by then then I%u2019m in trouble xD



ExOmelas says...


Also yee sorry I was just terrified for a second that you related to his disapproval for two men dancing xD



JabberHut says...


OH no, not at all. That doesn't bother me one bit. xD His reaction is just a very real one. It just made me laugh because he sounded like one of those ridiculously extreme traditionalists.

I wouldn't say you really messed up! Like I said, it could have just been my foggy brain not putting two and two together quick enough.

Looking back, I see now that Dorrea was actually hinting at it herself with the question "you remembered someone else the queen doesn't like" and I wonder if that might have led me astray, thinking there was someone other than the shepherd we were just talking about.

But I also might have just read it a bit too quickly or it went a bit too rapid-fire to give me the chance to put it together. It's hard to say, but going through it now, the hints are all clearly there. I feel kinda bad I didn't think through this better when I read it.



ExOmelas says...


No worries <3 I%u2019ll have a look tomorrow and try to analyse how I was intending to give it away. Seriously zero worries about being foggy, it was meant to be clear by the end of this part xD just go from there now and I%u2019ll figure the rest out ^.^




I like to create sympathy for my characters, then set the monsters loose.
— Stephen King