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Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 17.1

by ExOmelas


“Wait, so she’s just going to let you see your father, after all this time?” Rydone exclaimed.

“Well, there’s a stipulation,” Buck said, taking a sip of the soup Misene had made them. “I have to sail out to their land to meet with him, because he’s not allowed back here. I guess they still don’t quite trust him, which is probably fair enough.”

“How come you’re still here then?” Misene asked, bouncing baby Lucene up and down on his knee. They were sat in his dining room, having a two-course dinner generously prepared by Wailune before he left for work. Misene mostly only had to heat things up. As Buck looked round at him, he added, “It’s nice to see you, of course.”

“Oh, we have to prove ourselves to Alkset first, so that Erson and Pires can get onto the council of monarchs,” Buck explained. “It’s a council made up by the monarchs and nobles of various assorted kingdoms. They sound really cool.”

“Well that’s escalated quickly,” Rydone said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought they all hated us.”

Buck nodded. “At one point, maybe. But they’re giving us a second chance. We just have to prove ourselves.”

“And how do they want you to do that?” Rydone asked. She leaned forward with one elbow on the table, narrowly missing knocking over her soup.

“Actually, they don’t so much want anything from me as from Erson… or Erson’s parents to be precise. Alkset says she wants to understand why they’re so intent on ploughing resources into what seems like a simple border skirmish. And also if they would be amenable to the negotiation of a ceasefire so that whoever it is they are fighting could also join the council,” Buck said. He took a long breath after all that. “She says she would be interested in learning a few songs from me though.”

“Tonight?” Rydone asked. She glanced for the slightest moment at Misene, but he was suddenly absorbed in snuggling the top of Lucene’s head.

Buck sighed. Clearly his discussion with Hilene had taught him nothing. He had barely seen his two friends in his weeks back home. Well, all he could do was try to get back on track now. He smiled. “No, I’m all yours tonight. In fact, would it be okay if I ran across the road and asked if my mum and Victane would like to join us? It’s Mum’s birthday.”

“Of course!” Rydone shouted. She banged her tea against the table but luckily she’d had enough of her soup that it didn’t slosh too far out the bowl.

Buck took a big long slurp of his own soup to finish it off, then sighed contentedly. “Alright, I’ll go get them.”

He headed out behind the pub, around the back of the square to his treehouse. Simone had been persuaded this time to stay at home – he reckoned she’d got something of a fright the day before at the palace, so was happy to sit snugly in her bed. He quickly grabbed the present he’d got for his mum – a nice long shawl with purple and purplish-grey stripes – then doubled back and ran over to Victane’s. He’d been planning on going there after dinner anyway, but with significantly less of a cardio workout. When he got there he found himself slumped against the door as he knocked.

“Hello, Buttane,” Dorrea said as she opened the door.

Buck yelped and nearly collapsed onto her, but he managed to stumble forward up the step and brace himself against the doorway.

“Hi,” he said, panting. He pushed himself upright and stepped further into the warmly lit hallway. He offered her the package, wrapped loosely in very thin paper. Summoning his breath, he exclaimed, “Happy birthday!”

Dorrea grinned and carefully lifted the paper away from the shawl beneath. She let it fall to the floor and held the shawl up so she could see its full length. “Oh, Butty, it’s wonderful! I love long clothes!”

Buck smiled. “I remember.” He had been pretty wrapped up in writing an apology letter to Myal, but he had thought of the day she and Victane brought home their victorious shopping haul.

“Thank you,” she said, kissing him noisily on the top of the head. “Come on in, get yourself a drink.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to come back with me to see Misene and Rydone?” Buck asked. He got it all out as quick as he could so that she didn’t think for a second he was cancelling on her for palace business or anything. “You don’t have to, of course. Just I haven’t seen them in ages either and they’d love to see you too and I just thought it might be nice like a party and they could get to know Victane and-”

She put a hand on his shoulder. “That sounds great. Come on, let’s go talk to Victane.”

Buck followed her into the dining room, where Victane was sitting with a bottle of something clear and brown, and a few tumblers set out on the placemats. Oops, he hadn’t meant to step on Victane’s plans.

“Vic, Butty’s wondering if we’d like to come along to spend some time with him and his friends? I’ve known them all since they were children – well, except Wailune. And I suppose I’ve never met Lucene but she is a child, of course. Anyway, I think you’d all get on very well indeed.”

Victane grinned. “Saves me the embarrassment of having planned the world’s smallest birthday party. Think they’d like this?” He held up the bottle of alcohol.

“Almost certainly.” Buck nodded vigorously.

“Wonderful!” Victane got to his feet and followed them out the door.

As they were walking along, at a much more reasonable pace than Buck’s frantic sprinting around, Dorrea and Victane finally told him that they were planning on moving in together.

“Oh, that reminds me, I got those glass ducklings to go with the duck jug,” Victane said.

“Fantastic!” Dorrea exclaimed, leaning in towards him. “You remember the duck pond table, Buttane?”

Buck looked off into the distance for a moment. That did ring a bell. He closed his eyes and he could just about remember himself and Dorrea sliding the glass duck figurines in a circle around one massive duck-shaped water jug in the centre of the table. They’d all had names, he thought, but he couldn’t quite remember any of them.

“I remember,” he said. “They were your prize possessions.”

Dorrea nodded. “Yep. And now they are again.” She pulled her new shawl tighter around her shoulders. “Well, joint prize possessions.”

Dorrea and Victane went back to talking about their new house furnishings, or ones they were meaning to pick up. Something about the ducks had prompted a few other memories from Buck’s childhood, so he turned these over in his mind as they walked. Dorrea carefully lining up the books on her shelf, getting a picture to hang at a slightly jaunty angle above the dinner table, buying Buck little wooden toy animals and helping him have them put on little shows. He was so absorbed in the images that sprang up that he was almost sad to reach Misene’s house. But then again, as he knocked on the door, he was sure this would be a wonderful night to add to his collection.

---

A/N: If that last line sounds ominous it's really not meant to!


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Thu Sep 10, 2020 8:47 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



Ohhh I loved this so muuuuch. There's so much cute and fun and chill and relax and asld;fkjsdf

BUT I totally see through your explanation here, and I 100% thank you for it. XD What a great way to explain to the reader exactly what the plan moving forward is. I have to admit, the meeting last chapter ended on a bit fuzzy note in that regard, so Buck summarizing what exactly is going on now is super helpful. I

And it all pretty much lines up with what I remember last time too, but it also fills in blanks that I was missing (whether because I'm a bad reader or it was actually missing, idk). So before Buck can ever see his father again, Pires and Erson have to be allowed on the council. But before that can happen, Erson's parents need to find a way to peacefully end this skirmish or at least defend their stance or something. Basically that has to get taken care of -- which to be honest, I entirely forgot about, but Erson's mother is afk (if you will) and I do remember the conflict was a hot topic between Erson and his mother.

I am a little concerned that I did forget about this conflict and perhaps there were a lack of references while we were in the arc at Erson's/Myal's court, but perhaps my memory is also fuzzy since it had been a while for me.

I can't help but wonder how Dorrea would react at hearing the news, but perhaps plans haven't advanced well enough for Buck to justify updating her yet either. I remember Dorrea wasn't as excited about the idea anymore, but she was happy for Buck pursuing his dreams of seeing him again anyway, and I know she supports him 100%. I still find it hard to believe she wouldn't feel something though, and I wonder if she'd feel more and more anxious as time progressed and it seemed more and more likely that Buck's father would make an appearance.

What a fun little breather segment though. There is so much fluffy goodness here and I'm still just D'AWWWWing at baby Lucene. You write da wittle baby so gud i wuv her so

I wish I had more to add, but I think this segment did accomplish what it was designed to do, which was to catch the reader up before moving forward. OH but I AM excited to hear about Dorrea and Victane moving in together 'cause #1 ship right there. It feels really soon, but my timeline gauge is all wonky (curse my absence!), and Victane did stay with Dorrea for a bit before anyway iirc. So I think it actually works out anyway, I'm not too concerned.

Until next time! :D




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Mon Jul 27, 2020 9:26 am
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hooray, a new section! I enjoy starting my week off with these!

I'm just going to jump straight into it...

“Wait, so she’s just going to let you see your father, after all this time?” Rydone exclaimed.

My thoughts exactly Rydone!

“I have to sail out to their land to meet with him, because he’s not allowed back here.

Could an invitation not have been sent out to him before then? If this isn't a big deal and they're happy for him to go?

[qupte] “Oh, we have to prove ourselves to Alkset first, so that Erson and Pires can get onto the council of monarchs,” Buck explained. “ [/quote]
Ah, ok that makes more sense!

“Actually, they don’t so much want anything from me as from Erson… or Erson’s parents to be precise.

But I thought they wanted Erson to join their council? I think I've struggled to fully understand the whole situation a bit here. So they want Erson's parents to continue to rule, but he would come and be on their council? What happens to Pires? Does she go with Erson? And if yes, what happens to her city?

She put a hand on his shoulder

Shut up, Buck. You're rambling xD

Victane grinned. “Saves me the embarrassment of having planned the world’s smallest birthday party. Think they’d like this?” He held up the bottle of alcohol.

Awh, he's so sweet!

Dorrea and Victane finally told him that they were planning on moving in together.

A bit of a shame we don't get to see Buck's reaction to this news.

I don't think the last line sounds too ominous, but I can see it now you've pointed it out... haha! This was a nice section and I'm glad we get to see more of Buck's friends. It's good to know he hasn't abandoned them whilst doing his important palace stuff. It does make me wonder though, would he be spending quite as much time with them if Erson and Myal hadn't decided they didn't want his company?

And speaking of Myal, has she got that letter yet?!

Looking forward to the next update :)

Icy




ExOmelas says...


ah okay i should clear some things up. apologies this wasn't clear in the draft, but hopefully if i can set things straight now this can be more enjoyable going forward.

- the letter I'm talking about is the one from before. Myal got that and her response was to ask Buck to leave Pires's service. So that's just Buck having memories of a previous chapter
- The council would be sort of like one of those summits where loads of the worlds' leaders go. They wouldn't permanently live abroad, neither do those other monarchs. I'll put that into the conversation at the start here, because what i was trying to do was the Doctor Who trick of have someone there who doesn't know what's going on so you can explain it xD

Hope that helps, but if you have any other questions i haven't addressed please let me know :)



ExOmelas says...


@HarryHardy I think I answer most of your confusion here :)



IcyFlame says...


ah that's clearer, thanks :)



KateHardy says...


Ahh that works...:D



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Mon Jul 27, 2020 8:28 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And I am back...for more...,

First Impression: Hmm...so they've made some plans to get back Buck's did and things seem to be working out really well for Victane and Buck's mom. That's nice to see. Also Buck writing another long letter. Poor guy has been apologizing non stop for the past two or three chapters now.

Anyway let's get right to it,

“Well, there’s a stipulation,” Buck said, taking a sip of the soup Misene had made them. “I have to sail out to their land to meet with him, because he’s not allowed back here. I guess they still don’t quite trust him, which is probably fair enough.”


That does sound pretty fair.

“Oh, we have to prove ourselves to Alkset first, so that Erson and Pires can get onto the council of monarchs,” Buck explained. “It’s a council made up by the monarchs and nobles of various assorted kingdoms. They sound really cool.”


Oh great...although why would Pires be considered in a council of monarchs...isn't she under the rule of Erson's mother or have I understood this completely wrong or does it have something to do with the marriage situation.

“Actually, they don’t so much want anything from me as from Erson… or Erson’s parents to be precise. Alkset says she wants to understand why they’re so intent on ploughing resources into what seems like a simple border skirmish. And also if they would be amenable to the negotiation of a ceasefire so that whoever it is they are fighting could also join the council,” Buck said. He took a long breath after all that. “She says she would be interested in learning a few songs from me though.”


I almost forgot all about this. This seemed important for a while but then it just faded away to the background.

Dorrea grinned and carefully lifted the paper away from the shawl beneath. She let it fall to the floor and held the shawl up so she could see its full length. “Oh, Butty, it’s wonderful! I love long clothes!”


Well that was a nice moment.

Buck smiled. “I remember.” He had been pretty wrapped up in writing an apology letter to Myal, but he had thought of the day she and Victane brought home their victorious shopping haul.


Poor Buck...all because of one wrong song.

Victane grinned. “Saves me the embarrassment of having planned the world’s smallest birthday party. Think they’d like this?” He held up the bottle of alcohol.


So he never told Buck about the birthday party that he was planning?

Dorrea and Victane went back to talking about their new house furnishings, or ones they were meaning to pick up. Something about the ducks had prompted a few other memories from Buck’s childhood, so he turned these over in his mind as they walked. Dorrea carefully lining up the books on her shelf, getting a picture to hang at a slightly jaunty angle above the dinner table, buying Buck little wooden toy animals and helping him have them put on little shows. He was so absorbed in the images that sprang up that he was almost sad to reach Misene’s house. But then again, as he knocked on the door, he was sure this would be a wonderful night to add to his collection.


With the context of the rest of the paragraph I don't think that sounds ominous at all but...it definitely can sound ominous if it wanted to.

Aaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Another great piece. A little bit slowed down here and that's good because we can now evaluate the sort of situation that Buck is in and what needs to happen for him to save his father. This gives us the perfect little break before we get into the meat of the whole seeing his father situation.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Mon Jul 27, 2020 12:42 am
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LadyIgnis wrote a review...



g'day

But then again, as he knocked on the door, he was sure this would be a wonderful night to add to his collection.


well, that last line doesn't sound very ominous to me, so no worries there. i actually think it works with everything, and it's totally fine. it isn't overly long, or anything like that, so i consider that a win.

characters:

this section will mainly focus on character development or traits i see throughout the chapter. correct me if i am wrong, as i haven't read anything before this, so things may be off or
flawed. i will try to go back though.

Buck yelped and nearly collapsed onto her, but he managed to stumble forward up the step and brace himself against the doorway.


from this line and others i can tell that buck is a little clumsy and maybe bad at interaction with people. i do believe that if that was what you wanted then you did a great job at showing everything about him. i can see a lot from one line, so great on you for being able to capture that. even if i am wrong, i will most likely still see the character's personality sooner or later depending on this being fast or slower.

Oops, he hadn’t meant to step on Victane’s plans.


this can also prove what i mean above. it is quite on the basic side, but i think the usage of 'oops' brings more life to the story.

other:

“Wait, so she’s just going to let you see your father, after all this time?” Rydone exclaimed.


i don't know your story well, but i think that helps to rather quickly introduce something. of course it's not detailed, but it gets to the point, which is something i don't mind in chapters this far along.

stay cool,
*ignis





I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart; I am, I am, I am.
— Sylvia Plath