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Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 6.1

by ExOmelas


“You’re telling me your name is Buttane, and when you became an official fool, you didn’t decide to go by Button?” Hilene asked. This was among the longest sentences Buck had ever heard Hilene say, and three of the others had come within the last hour. Maybe he was just a night owl, but it was still striking to Buck.

They were walking north east towards a supply hut that travellers usually topped up on resources in before they reached Resador City. The moon was low now, and frequently covered by clouds, but Buck could just make out the long wide dirt track they walked along. It dipped at the sides from how frequently carts trundled along, but at this time of night they were completely alone, walking along the mossy tufts in the centre of the road.

“Well, I had the bucket, so I thought it would be fitting to be named after it,” Buck said, though he didn’t mention that the bucket’s sole purpose at the time had been as Simone’s home.

“How come you have a Resadorian name in the first place, if your parents were up north? I figure Buttane is Resadorian. You know, the -ne with a vowel before it? Hilene, Victane, and so on.” Hilene said, as the square brown block of the hut came into view.

“My father admired Pires’s father, I think. He always wanted to be an explorer, and bringing his child up down here seemed to be the way to do it,” Buck said. “I haven’t spoken to my mum about that since I was tiny though. Perhaps I’ll ask her about it when I get there.”

“I meant to ask,” Hilene said, as though he hadn’t already asked every question Buck could imagine answering about himself. “How come you’re staying with your mum? Doesn’t she keep sheep? That’s not very courtly.”

Buck shrugged. “It is up there. The palace is at the bottom of a valley, and there’s sheep everywhere. My earliest memories of dye are actually patches of colour marking the ownership of a sheep, rather than the dyeing of clothes. My mum is practically a courtier.”

Hilene and Buck continued chatting – or rather, Hilene continued his interrogation – as they walked along the wide dirt track. A few times Buck tried to include Victane in the conversation, but, conversely to Hilene, he was uncharacteristically quiet.

By the time they reached the hut, Buck thought he must have recounted all the facts of The Lay of a Lost Father to Hilene between all of his questions. It was as if the words had exploded out of the grumpy young man as soon as they left the city. Perhaps this was a manifestation of nervous energy after a big change. Meanwhile Buck’s nerves compelled him to fidget with the coins in his pocket and wonder how much a horse each would cost.

With a quick hop over the ditch at the side of the road, Buck led the two guards up the narrow path of flattened grass to the hut. They weren’t wearing their uniforms, which was probably useful, but Buck still felt their protective presences behind him.

The hut was a surprisingly well kept structure for how small it was. Most people didn’t stay longer than a few minutes as they topped up their supplies, and there was a hatch in the door that Buck expected might be used on busy days to serve queues waiting outside. Buck noticed as he opened the door that the hinge didn’t creak and there were very few splinters popping out from the walls. Inside lanterns hung down from the ceiling and lit the room brightly enough to cause Buck to wince after the dark night.

“Greetings!” A black-skinned woman with her wavy hair tied tightly back called to them from a bar built into the far-left corner.

“Evening,” Buck said, taking the few paces across the room to her.

“What can I do for you?” she asked, leaning on the counter and waving at the guards.

“We need horses,” Buck said, “Ones that can get us to the Royal Court.”

The woman frowned. “Strange time of night to be travelling, and strange time of year to be heading that way. You do know the Queen and her son are currently only a few miles south of here?”

Buck felt a brief flicker of irritation at her for prying, but clicked into thinking on his feet. “The prince saw me perform and agreed to let me join his court. My style is more suited to his court than to Resador, you see. I’m not… energetic enough.”

The woman’s fingers tapped the varnished surface of the bar for a moment, but eventually shrugged. “Well, I hear his court’s a snooze. You’ll fit right in.” Buck had to stop himself from rebuking her, but luckily she went on, “Speaking of snoozing, my horses are asleep. Feel free to wait in some pallets by the fire. If you want them taking you all the way up there you’ll want them rested.”

Buck glanced at the opposite side of the room, where a fire was flickering behind a sturdy metal grate. Neat piles of blankets were placed before it, each topped by a thin woollen sleeping-bag. Luckily there was very little need for warm bedding in a Resadorian summer. He grinned; derision had been exactly the reaction he’d been hoping for from her. Now she’d leave them to sleep in peace, having presumably lost all interest in them.

As they settled down, Victane said, “That was good going, Buck. Do you think that will be our story the whole way north?”

Buck pursed his lips and hummed. “Actually, that’s given me a very exciting idea. Just because I’m away from Pires’s court doesn’t mean I’m out of her service. You know when I hide in the rafters of the meeting hall to gather information? How do the two of you feel about doing a little intelligence work?”

Victane chuckled; Hilene paused in the process of wriggling into his sleeping bag.

“How were you thinking?” Victane asked, smiling at Buck.

“Well, we might be the only three people in here tonight, but tomorrow night we won’t need to be buying horses, so we can stay in a tavern. And what’s in a tavern?”

“Drink?” Victane suggested.

“Drink.” Buck nodded. “And plenty of drunken lips to loosen. We can find out all sorts of things! What to expect up north, how things are going back in Resador, and, if they’re going well, if Erson is planning on waiting longer before going home.”

Hilene yawned. “You’re sounding chipper all of a sudden.”

Buck nodded rapidly. “This is the best I’ve felt since about quarter to eight this evening. I like having a plan.”

Victane beamed. “It’s good to see you back to your usual self.”

Buck grinned; he could say the same about Victane. He glanced at Hilene, wondering if his newfound chattiness would have any ideas to contribute to the reconnaissance initiatives.

Instead, Hilene said just, “Uh huh. Good night, both.” Then he slipped fully into the sleeping bag and lay on his back with his eyes closed.

Victane waved a hand in the air and shook his head. He leant in towards Buck to whisper, “Don’t worry about him. You just stay focused, okay?”

Buck glanced toward Hilene, whose face was completely still. He looked back at Victane, who was smiling with one side of his mouth. He took a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll stay focused. We’ll talk strategy in the morning?”

“We’ll be your own personal royal advisors,” Victane said, then he too settled down into his own sleeping bag.

Buck stared at the fire for a few moments, reflecting on the day. It had been a full, busy day, and it had to be close to dawn by now. But as unpredictable as Pires could be, he’d been working with her for years and fundamentally he knew how she worked. His new travelling companions however, he didn’t understand well at all, no matter how long he’d known them. Already Victane had been oddly reserved on the walk here, then relaxed as normal; meanwhile Hilene was back to being brusque as ever. Buck traced lines with his fingers in the air as he tried to work out some semblance of logical links. Perhaps these two ought to be the focus of his reconnaissance work.


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Tue Jun 23, 2020 11:02 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

And chapter six begins.

First Impression: Buck is going to do some planning. And that's about it. This seemed a bit like a filler because we only really learnt maybe one or two things about the guards but almost nothing to really develop the story. But then I'm assuming since this is only the first part of the sixth chapter the rest of the chapter will be what contains the development that drives the story forward.

“You’re telling me your name is Buttane, and when you became an official fool, you didn’t decide to go by Button?” Hilene asked.


That's a hilarious name but it also has potential to be twisted into some horrible versions. Also interesting naming system you've explained for Resador.

“How come you have a Resadorian name in the first place, if your parents were up north? I figure Buttane is Resadorian. You know, the -ne with a vowel before it? Hilene, Victane, and so on.” Hilene said, as the square brown block of the hut came into view.


As nice as this explanation it feels a bit too much like you're just adding it for the sake of the readers.

Buck felt a brief flicker of irritation at her for prying, but clicked into thinking on his feet. “The prince saw me perform and agreed to let me join his court. My style is more suited to his court than to Resador, you see. I’m not… energetic enough.”


That doesn't seem t be a great excuse because wouldn't it make more sense for him to travel with the prince if he was going to join the prince's court. I mean not even the queen is there.

Buck pursed his lips and hummed. “Actually, that’s given me a very exciting idea. Just because I’m away from Pires’s court doesn’t mean I’m out of her service. You know when I hide in the rafters of the meeting hall to gather information? How do the two of you feel about doing a little intelligence work?”


This is a great addition. This is what would keep the reader hooked to the story.

Hilene yawned. “You’re sounding chipper all of a sudden.”

Buck nodded rapidly. “This is the best I’ve felt since about quarter to eight this evening. I like having a plan.”

Victane beamed. “It’s good to see you back to your usual self.”


Well it is good. Also shows what his true job was all along.

Buck stared at the fire for a few moments, reflecting on the day. It had been a full, busy day, and it had to be close to dawn by now. But as unpredictable as Pires could be, he’d been working with her for years and fundamentally he knew how she worked. His new travelling companions however, he didn’t understand well at all, no matter how long he’d known them. Already Victane had been oddly reserved on the walk here, then relaxed as normal; meanwhile Hilene was back to being brusque as ever. Buck traced lines with his fingers in the air as he tried to work out some semblance of logical links. Perhaps these two ought to be the focus of his reconnaissance work.


And that's a great ending to cap it off.

And that's it for this one.

Overall: It does a good job building some interest to read the next part and we learn a couple of things about Buck's past so that's good.

As always remember to take what you think will help and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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keystrings wrote a review...



Helllo hello! It has been too long since I've read a chapter of yours, and since it's been a while since I've properly reviewed something, I figured I would get back into this story c:

For the life of me, I wasn't sure if Bucket was going to be his real name or not, but if his birth name was "Buttane" then I can probably understand why he went by a different one, oh my gosh. I also like this tidbit because it makes the world have a little more humor, in where his parents could have been inspired to name their child that.

Also, I like the whole "you must be from this region because we have similar names" because this seems like you're being way too self-aware xD. And I feel like I'm getting called out since a lot of the names I come up with are either super similar to each other or are basically names I created years ago and cannot get out of my head.

I really like this easy dynamic between Bucket and Hilene and Victane, and how we get dialogue while they're moving towards another destination, not just a conversation between talking heads or the characters at least doing something in the background of the questions and answers. I know I don't have too much information about these newer characters, but there is a curious friendship/connection of sorts, with Bucket devising a way to get information, and the other two being willing to help.

I haven't been reading this story like I should have, (but maybe one day I'll go back and read it), but I think this is at an interesting part of the plot. Bucket being away from court, and having this travel companions - it's all really interesting and fun to read. I like it c: and I will read more.




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Thu Dec 19, 2019 2:08 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



HELLOOOO!

This made me so happy to read omg. And I'm still giggling immaturely at his name Buttane every time I see it.

And I think the dynamic between these two guards is just so INTRIGUING. Because now we see Hilene doing all the talking (or interrogating, really), and Victane is quiet as a mouse. It's such a flip-flop, but it works so well with these two, too! I think it shows just how well these two must work together to be able to always complement the other.

Plus, Hilene is clearly the more skeptical of the two. I think we've always kinda knew that, but now we see it in full force with his interest in Buck's background and future plans. He's trying to piece it all together, attempting to make sense of what exactly he (or Victane) has gotten himself into. Hilene is far more trustworthy of Buck and doesn't ask those kind of questions, and he probably doesn't in general as he seems to typically be friendlier. Basically, it's a great balance of good-cop, bad-cop in this duo, and I'm really enjoying this dynamic so far.

I like that you explained here why he was planning to go to his mother's house now, making more sense of how the previous chapter ended. It's all appropriately paced, I think, in that kind of reveal and clarifying the impact that chapter five's ending had on the reader. I love this little tidbit about color-marking the sheep, too. It gives such a good yet brief glimpse into the life of a shepherd in this world, and I think we're going to get even more of that when we meet his mom.

I LOVE THAT WE WAIT FOR THE HORSES. omg the woman loves horses, and I love that she even enforces it without question. "YOU WAIT ON THEM, STRANGERS."

I also just really like this lady. She's just as skeptical of the people that walk in, proving she's a diligent innkeeper. I can tell she's got spunk. I like her.

D'awwww, Buck is back to his usual shenanigans! And the guards also resume their original dynamic! This will be fun, getting into how these guys operate. I can only imagine the trouble Buck will get into. I love that Hilene, like... hesitated at the mention of Buck's "intelligence work," then just shrugged and resumed snuggling into his sleeping back. XD

So I think I'm just super excited getting to know the guards here more, and how we got to see a different side to them. Even Buck was just as intrigued, and it's a pretty accurate reaction. Kind of like when you see your school teacher in the grocery store, you're like... wait no that's not you. It's absolutely what's happening here, and I love it to death. I actually am slowly growing fond of Hilene, which I think is a really good thing considering how uninterested he was before. There's clearly more to him, and we're finally seeing that.

HNNNNG now I must know what they will get into!! Buck, oh Buck, what is on your mind...




ExOmelas says...


Yay, I'm glad you liked it! I'm pretty sure this is going to be a way of having fun while writing their journey to the prince's court, while also keeping it relevant to, not so much the plot, but the theme. That will make sense later xD

Only thing that's maybe not quite come through is that Hilene wasn't meant to be like mean when he was asking those questions, just a bit thoughtless and letting his curiosity run a bit wild. The reason for that will also become clear soon, sooner than why this whole thing is relevant, but I should maybe clarify that a bit.

Thanks for the review :D



JabberHut says...


OH FOR SURE. I didn't think he was mean at all. I don't necessarily mean bad-cop as in GRRRR TELL ME EVERYTHING but more like, he isn't afraid to ask the questions that a more kind-hearted soul would easily sidestep or overlook. And this kind of character will absolutely come in handy, I'm sure. I can't wait to see more Hilene!

I can tell you're about to have a looot of fun here, and I'm really excited! These kinds of detours are really fun to read/write, and while it may not have much to do with the main plot, it can still play a huge role in character building or setting things up for the plot.

I'm super stoked to see what's going to come of Buck's plan. BUCK AND VICTANE WOO!



ExOmelas says...


yay, okay that's great to know!

and yes, i have many plans for the next chapter part... bwahahaha :D




No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.
— John Donne