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A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 12.3

by ExOmelas


A/N: I feel like maybe the lesson Buck is learning is way, way too heavy-handed. Maybe he should spend less time in his thoughts and more time interacting with other characters?

Also I decided to slow down the pacing and not have them reach Resador at the end of this chapter as I had originally planned :)

---

Buck reckoned this trip was going to be much more comfortable than the last one. For a start, he didn't have to try and remember how to ride a horse, as he was now tucked safely up in a wide wooden carriage belonging to Erson and Myal. As it had turned out, it was surprisingly easy to get the queen's permission for Myal to accompany them. It seemed she had had enough of the antics of both her children, and wished for some peace and quiet. Holyon and Loilyn had promised to keep the court going, but Myal told them that if they started to get in trouble then they should move back to campfires - just a really bloody big campfire.

He was sat beside Myal now, as she waved at the subjects who'd lined up to see her go. But they didn't really seem like subjects - most of them were calling her by name and telling her to send home plenty of letters. Erson twisted around from the front seat to ask if she was ready to go, and to give a quick wave of his own to the crowd.

"Uh huh," Myal said, not looking around. She kept watching the people in front of her, kept shaking the hands of some who came forward and gave her little trinkets as keepsakes. Ikilyn gave her particularly beautiful necklace, the with a little jewel the deep green of the grass of the valley.

Buck put his hand lightly on her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. You'll have a great time, then see everyone when you get back home. And you'll have so many more ideas for your own court."

Myal smiled, slowly turning to face him. "Okay. Okay, yeah, you're right. Erson, I'm ready!"

Erson grinned. "Alright then. Driver?" He turned to Victane, who was sitting up front beside him, who picked up the reins and started the horses moving.

"Goodbye, everyone!" Myal called. "I'll be back soon!"

The crowd cheered and blew kisses to her, and some cheered for Buttane as well. In fact, one voice seemed to be rather louder than the other in that respect. Buck frowned, narrowing his gaze until he located the source.

"Hilene!" he exclaimed, waving his arm high above his head.

Hilene stopped shouting now that he had Buck's attention. He met his eyes, and kept his face still and neutral.

Buck nodded once, carefully, so Hilene would know it was on purpose. At which Hilene smiled, and waved again one more time. Buck sighed as he finally turned to face where they were going. As far as he was concerned, that was him promising Hilene that he would be more straight with people, stop manoevreing things behind others' backs. But how could he do that in Resador of all places? He had a few days to think about it, he supposed. Maybe he could bring something of the valley to Resador, some of that genuine love and warmth that the people clearly felt towards Myal and Erson.

Before he could devote more thought to the topic, Dorrea, who sat on his other side, started talking to him. They chatted about the last time they had made this trip, how tiny Buck was, and it was only as they started talking about Buck's father that he realised they were discussing a dangerous amount of truth in front of people who had no idea who Buck really was. Luckily Myal seemed to be caught up in watching the countryside go by, and Victane was talking in great detail with Erson about something. Perhaps he'd heard them and got Erson talking on purpose.

Well, as long as that was the case, Buck found himself enjoying this chat. He hadn't got to talk about his father properly in a long time - about more than just why he was gone. The good bits. Even Simone wouldn't have remembered those times, so he couldn't reminisce with her.

Thought of Simone prompted Buck to check that his bucket was still safely stowed under his chair. It was tied up in a sheet, but he'd left the top of the sheet open so that Simone could breathe. He felt her batting at him with his tail as he reached his hand down, and reached in further to give her a little scratch. He couldn't wait to get back to his treehouse and let her have a whole room's worth of space - his room, their room. Their home.

When they stopped for the night, they did so in a medium sized town that Buck and the guards had visited on the way up. Their timings had meant they reached this place in midday, but they had grabbed lunch from what Buck remembered as a quiet, peaceful tavern. He'd been glad of that by then, having clocked up several days of drinking in a row by then.

There was some drinking this night, but much less quizzing of the locals to find out what they had heard recently regarding the prince. In fact, several of them seemed to clock the prince and give them a wide berth. Buck assumed this was for Erson's privacy, but he remembered some of the judgemental tones he had picked up on around this area last time, so there was another less cordial possible explanation for their distance.

"That's an interesting idea," Dorrea said, nudging Buck.

Buck shook himself out of his thoughts and back to the thick dark wood table they were sat at. He hoped that the 'interesting idea' hadn't been him talking out loud. But Dorrea pointed with her head towards Myal.

"Uh, what was that, sorry?" Buck asked.

"Nice to have you back, Buttane," Myal said, chuckling a little. "I said that I might see about getting some performers from Resador to come perform at my own court."

Buck smiled. "I think many of them would be intrigued by that. Oh, harpists - you should check out the harpists. Or poets! We have so many poets I cannot even describe." Buck wondered if trying to offload his least favourite poets onto Myal would count as scheming by Hilene's judgement.

Myal frowned and scratched her head. "You say 'we' about Resador a lot. How long were you down there?"

Well, if Buck wasn't going to stop scheming, at least he was getting progressively worse at it. "Uh, quite a while. And there's such a feeling of community down there... they're everyone's poets, you know?"

Myal smiled, sighing. "I'd love that."

"Hey, you've got that, eh? Loilyn's a real part of the community," Buck said.

"Yeah but I want more," Myal said. "I want people to be excited for the whole night, not just waiting for the end of it."

Buck nodded. "I promise I'll try and point you in the right directions, honestly."


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Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:54 pm
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

I'm back and it is time to end Chapter 12.

First Impression: I thought they'd be at Resador by this point. The pacing wouldn't have been that much of an issue. As for this chapter it felt a little to stagnant. We only learnt a couple of new things but besides that not a lot happned.

And let's get to it.

He was sat beside Myal now, as she waved at the subjects who'd lined up to see her go. But they didn't really seem like subjects - most of them were calling her by name and telling her to send home plenty of letters. Erson twisted around from the front seat to ask if she was ready to go, and to give a quick wave of his own to the crowd.


That's nice to see.

Erson grinned. "Alright then. Driver?" He turned to Victane, who was sitting up front beside him, who picked up the reins and started the horses moving.


I hope he was just joking there when he called him Driver.

Buck nodded once, carefully, so Hilene would know it was on purpose. At which Hilene smiled, and waved again one more time. Buck sighed as he finally turned to face where they were going. As far as he was concerned, that was him promising Hilene that he would be more straight with people, stop manoevreing things behind others' backs. But how could he do that in Resador of all places? He had a few days to think about it, he supposed. Maybe he could bring something of the valley to Resador, some of that genuine love and warmth that the people clearly felt towards Myal and Erson.


That seems like a good idea except it would probably be very hard to pull off with Pires at the helm.

Before he could devote more thought to the topic, Dorrea, who sat on his other side, started talking to him. They chatted about the last time they had made this trip, how tiny Buck was, and it was only as they started talking about Buck's father that he realised they were discussing a dangerous amount of truth in front of people who had no idea who Buck really was. Luckily Myal seemed to be caught up in watching the countryside go by, and Victane was talking in great detail with Erson about something. Perhaps he'd heard them and got Erson talking on purpose.


So here I think you should maybe mention a bit more about Buck's father. Besides that song earlier he isn't mentioned very much despite the fact that saving him has been a driving force for Buck this entire book.

In fact, several of them seemed to clock the prince and give them a wide berth. Buck assumed this was for Erson's privacy, but he remembered some of the judgemental tones he had picked up on around this area last time, so there was another less cordial possible explanation for their distance.


Well that's interesting although it might just be due to Erson going nuclear because of the marriage proposals.

Buck wondered if trying to offload his least favourite poets onto Myal would count as scheming by Hilene's judgement.


Little parts like these are the things that make this story amazing.

"Yeah but I want more," Myal said. "I want people to be excited for the whole night, not just waiting for the end of it."

Buck nodded. "I promise I'll try and point you in the right directions, honestly."


Looks like some interesting times in Resador lie ahead.

And that's it for this chapter.

Overall: Overall not a lot happens besides a couple of ideas by Buck but it is still well written as always.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Wed Jun 24, 2020 7:13 am
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok, this helps me with the whole racing ahead at top speed thing! I'm glad you've slowed down a little and given them all a chance to breathe and actually come to terms with the whole situation that's going down. Especially Myal, bless her <3

I really like the contrast between her reluctance to leave the people she cares about (even though I know she was completely psyched to go) and Erson's determination to leave this place behind. It's a nice way of showing the change in his character - like the whole fake love interest thing has actually had a real impact on him.

Like the last chapter, I feel like you didn't really focus on the other supporting characters. There's a proper conversation with Buck and Myal but Dorrea only has one line and Vittane says nothing. I think some development here would be welcome as it kind of feels like you have them there for the sake of it at the moment.

The moment with Hilene was also really profound. He's had his time to complain to Buck about not seeing him for two weeks and the nod is like this silent moment of understanding between the two of them, loved it!

Just one other thing for me:

"Hey, you've got that, eh? Loilyn's a real part of the community," Buck said.

"Yeah but I want more," Myal said. "I want people to be excited for the whole night, not just waiting for the end of it."

Buck nodded. "I promise I'll try and point you in the right directions, honestly."


I'm not quite sure why Myal says this (though it could be in reference to a different chapter that I've missed. Why is people waiting for the end of the night a response to Loilyn being part of the community?
Also, I think it's more common to say 'point you in the right direction' without the s. That may be personal preference though.

I really liked the character development here, it's definitely good to slow it down once in a while! :)

Icy




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Sun May 31, 2020 12:29 am
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JabberHut wrote a review...



I AM BACK HELLO!

And yes, this does slow things down! And I think it's on the right track, too. It may seem like it doesn't accomplish a lot, but I think it has the potential to accomplish a lot more than you think.

I like that it slowed down a bit so we're now getting into how the characters generally feel. Actually, what I think you did well was show Erson's eagerness to head out. I think this reflects a lot on how Erson feels about this mission to Resador and how what he just went through really changed his mindset for the novel's near future. It's a sharp character change and though Erson was mentioned only briefly, that brief moment really did a lot to reinforce his character and goals.

So that's one thing that can be really emphasized here! It almost defines the Next Big Thing they're going to face, and Erson's character is really significant to the plot's direction. Sets up the tone for what's coming.

I also found it really intriguing to see Myal's hesitation! She was so excited about the idea of traveling with Erson before, and now that it's actually happening... she's a little anxious about it. This is just adorable and really shows a new dimension to Myal's character. It'll be fun to play with a character so new and curious and nervous and excited -- ALL these emotions bundled up into one character makes for so many possibilities. I think it'll be fun finding her a good spot in the coming arc.

For the purposes of this segment, I think the conversation later at the inn helped to reinforce Myal's feelings. It explained at least a little bit that while she is nervous, she's generally excited at the possibilities that could come out of her trip to Resador. I'm not sure how she'll behave upon arriving to Resador as anxiety is different for everyone, but she's definitely not 100% confident about leaving; yet she is 100% a dreamer. It is adorable, though, that she trusts Buck enough to be comforted by his words. It was a really sweet moment between them. So I think as long as this conversation or some part here involving Myal -- as long as this segment foreshadows how Myal might behave in Resador, I think it'll serve enough purpose. Is she overly-excited to the point where she'll probably shut down once they arrive, or will she be her usual spunky self and explore the town with as much curiosity? I can detect she's nervous, but I can see she's excited, and I generally don't really know what she has in mind now. Her goal seems to be in line with the court moreso than supporting Erson, so maybe THAT'S what I should be picking up on -- is she going to be more absent now as she focuses on broadening her court?

Also loved the moment between Buck and Hilene. Silent but full. A duo of friends who just had a heart-to-heart and now have a better understanding of each other. That was a wonderful moment -- a subtle but strong farewell.

I do detect that Victane and Dorrea fell into the backline again, so their presence may have to be edited a bit too. Dorrea certainly has friends here since she's lived here for so long. Victane has probably gotten to know some folks since he's been at Dorrea's farm for a while now, and even Buck knows some faces too. So everyone will have someone to wave to. Dorrea and Victane may be side characters, but they are important to Buck and they potentially shape his character over time until he's reached that version of Buck that is required for the novel's Final Battle, if you will, or the final act.

But we DID see Buck and Dorrea have a sweet moment during the trip, and I think that was really needed. It's too bad we didn't get to witness the conversation much ourselves, but Buck does really need a moment with his mother. c:

And finally, I'm curious as to why Erson didn't pick up on Buck's slip-up at the end there. Erson's a bit more critical than Myal, so maybe he was busy and didn't hear?

I look forward to reading the next part. This section does cover a lot of ground, and I think there are bits and pieces that can be emphasized a bit more so that this chapter seems like it has more purpose than one thinks. But they're all there! So as I said before, I think you accomplished a lot more than you think. :D




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Wed May 13, 2020 2:22 pm
potter4life wrote a review...



HAI! so i read your book that was written and didnt really understand what was going on at times

Maybe it just me but like at some point in time you did not really have any speech . That makes it really boring sometimes you know..

like here

Buck nodded once, carefully, so Hilene would know it was on purpose. At which Hilene smiled, and waved again one more time. Buck sighed as he finally turned to face where they were going. As far as he was concerned, that was him promising Hilene that he would be more straight with people, stop manoevreing things behind others' backs. But how could he do that in Resador of all places? He had a few days to think about it, he supposed. Maybe he could bring something of the valley to Resador, some of that genuine love and warmth that the people clearly felt towards Myal and Erson.

Before he could devote more thought to the topic, Dorrea, who sat on his other side, started talking to him. They chatted about the last time they had made this trip, how tiny Buck was, and it was only as they started talking about Buck's father that he realised they were discussing a dangerous amount of truth in front of people who had no idea who Buck really was. Luckily Myal seemed to be caught up in watching the countryside go by, and Victane was talking in great detail with Erson about something. Perhaps he'd heard them and got Erson talking on purpose.

Well, as long as that was the case, Buck found himself enjoying this chat. He hadn't got to talk about his father properly in a long time - about more than just why he was gone. The good bits. Even Simone wouldn't have remembered those times, so he couldn't reminisce with her.

Thought of Simone prompted Buck to check that his bucket was still safely stowed under his chair. It was tied up in a sheet, but he'd left the top of the sheet open so that Simone could breathe. He felt her batting at him with his tail as he reached his hand down, and reached in further to give her a little scratch. He couldn't wait to get back to his treehouse and let her have a whole room's worth of space - his room, their room. Their home.

When they stopped for the night, they did so in a medium sized town that Buck and the guards had visited on the way up. Their timings had meant they reached this place in midday, but they had grabbed lunch from what Buck remembered as a quiet, peaceful tavern. He'd been glad of that by then, having clocked up several days of drinking in a row by then.



Like around that part you know..

you should try show not tell too!

It would help your writings quite a lot!


Good job on the book though:]





No, Jack, don't. Jeez.
— David Letterman