By the time the gates of Resador City were visible on the horizon, Buck had a comprehensive list of every singer, poet and musician he thought would be perfect for Myal's court. He'd imagined prospective running orders, talked them through with Myal, to the point where he was almost sad he wouldn’t be there to see it. Not too sad though. He grinned as Victane pointed the gates out to Myal and Myal started bouncing up and down. He was almost home.
Erson was much quieter than Myal as they closed the distance to the gates. Buck could just about see the side of his face from his position behind and to the left of him, but this told him nothing. Erson’s face was blank, moving only to respond to conversation from Victane, but after a while Victane seemed to get the message and went back to quietly driving the carriage.
Buck decided to be quiet as well, especially as they trundled carefully along the path through the market square. The urge to babble to his mum about the incident with the banana vendors was strong enough that he didn’t trust himself with an open mouth.
The road cut through the hillock a few yards to the right of where the footpath did. The experience was much the same – temporarily surrounded by high walls of dirt, then a moment later emerging into the wide grassy field before the gate. The sun beamed down on the thick black bars, then shot outwards in all directions – a grand but somewhat disorienting effect of a circular outward perimeter.
Then finally they were at the gates. There was no fanfare to meet them, but Erson had disclosed that this had been part of the specifications laid out in his letter to Pires. There was to be a welcoming ceremony tonight, but that only since the palace, where relatively little chaos could be caused. Buck was normally a staunch advocate for chaos, but he would be glad to be able to speak to those involved before the ceremony, warn them not to refer to him as ‘Bucket’.
“Ah, Victane, it’s been some time!”
Buck was jolted back to the moment and glanced down at the ground. There was a guard there he vaguely recognised but didn’t know by name. He still kept his face pointing inward, looking down at Myal’s feet. It was not uncommon for someone in the city to know his name even if they’d never met, and he wasn’t confident everyone would be as fooled by the removal of his facepaint as Erson.
“Nordene, hello!” Victane called, leaning down to the side of the driver’s seat.
The guard was a short woman with olive skin and dark hair tied back in a short ponytail. Now that Victane had said her name Buck did remember her, in fact. She was always very supportive when he tried out new material on tavern nights. He sank further down in his seat.
“Last we all heard you were off to the Royal Valley – didn’t realise that was to retrieve the runaway prince, eh!” Nordene laughed then nodded at Erson. “Your liege.”
Victane chuckled. “Not even close to the right title.”
“Well then, you all get going before I put my foot further in it!” Nordene bowed and got out of their way. “Go on, scram, the lot of your excellencies!”
The carriage rolled along through the gate and Buck busied himself with explaining to Myal that yes, many people spoke like that down here.
“It’s refreshing, honestly,” Myal said, nodding far too vigorously.
Buck chuckled. “You’ll get used to it soon enough, your Excellence.”
Myal glared at him for a moment, but then she started to laugh and bat her hands rapidly against his arm. Buck had lots of fun maintaining her excitement by pointing out many of the sights as they made their way into the centre of the city. She got particularly excited about the tavern, especially when Buck told her that for several weeks Pires had slipped in there unnoticed. He left out that this was in order to spy on him when he sang about his father.
He stopped talking when he caught sight of his treehouse. It seemed undisturbed, but there were rows of people stood in a semi-circle around it, all facing the same way. Buck leaned back so he was mostly behind Dorrea and peered around the side of her to see what was happening.
He heard it before he saw it. There was music coming from the centre of the circle – no singing that he could make out, but a mournful fiddle lamenting whatever was needing lamented by the listener. As the carriage circled around on the way past, the music ended on a long, high note, held its silence, then broke into a lively jig and everyone started to dance.
“Buttane! How wonderful!” Myal shook his shoulder and pointed at the dance. “Look!”
Buck smiled at her and shifted forward, looking out at the sudden merriment below. He could see the fiddler now, a scruffy young blond boy. His head was down, concentrating, but when his first song ended he looked up and whistled at the dancers.
Then he looked further up, at the carriage, and locked eyes with Buck.
“Oh my gods!” He shoved his fiddle into the hands of a man sitting on a drum and waved. “Hey, you’re back!”
Erson twisted around. “Wow, you really were popular when you lived down here.”
Buck was frozen. The fiddler was Rydone’s little brother, Fusane. He had a few licks of facepaint around his temples, but nothing that obscured his features. Buck had almost forgotten telling Rydone that Fusane was welcome to his supplies, but he felt a sudden jolt when he realised that he’d effectively allowed his place to be filled while he was away. Perhaps that was why Fusane didn’t cover his face in the paint – he was trying not to take Buck’s place. That was a much warmer thought.
He had also clearly been practising hard in the past few months. Buck would never have recognised him from that music – one moment quietly haunting, the next jaunty and energetic. He recognised his face clearly though, which had gone as rigid as his own.
“Who is it?” shouted someone from the back of the dancing crowd. Fusane was up on a box – not a bucket, Buck noted – and had a clear view over the heads of everyone else.
“Oh, just a friend,” Fusane said. “Not seen him in a while. It’s good to have you back, man!”
Buck nodded at him, still slightly too stunned to smile. He’d written in his letter to Pires that it would probably be best if his friends knew not to say the name ‘Bucket’ too loudly, but he hadn’t thought to extend that further. Clearly it had occurred to either Pires or Rydone though.
“It’s Buck!”
Or not. Buck craned his head past his mum to see more directly the spot at the bottom of the carriage. He found half a dozen people nudging each other and grinning, pointing up at him. Myal pulled him back.
“Buck?” she asked.
“Oh… just a nickname,” Buck said. Behind his back he grasped his mum’s hand and held it very tight, willing himself through this situation.
“Come on, let’s go,” Dorrea said, raising her eyebrows at Victane.
Victane nodded and got the carriage speeding off, but not before chants of “Buck-et! Buck-et!” had started springing up from the crowd. Nobody in the carriage said another word until they reached the palace courtyard.
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,619 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)
And Chapter 13. The one before last.
First Impression: Oooh!! Prince Erson is going to be mad. Very mad. Good to see that despite it being a month people all recognize him very well. And good to see that Fusone has come such a long way since we were first introduced to him.
Looks like somebody has realized just how crazy his plan is.
Well that's a nice nod to the start but was the banana incident that important?
Great description there to set the scene.
Okay this is quite a bit suspicious. Prince Erson was somehow forgetful enough to not connect the dots with Victane and Buck.
This is some lovely dialogue and I once again I must say I love this take on being a royal family.
Things are about to get very, very bad for poor Buck. And just when his plan succeded.
That's a really nice little touch.
And Buck has officially been exposed. He really should have found a better way to hide.
And that's it for this chapter.
Overall: Great setup for what appears to be Bucks disastrous return to performance hall. Let's see if I can finish off the other two before the day is out.
As always take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Ah wow he didn't even get as far as the palace before someone recognised him! This might not go well for poor old Buck...
I love how excited Buck seems to be back, though I'm not sure how he thought he was going to hide his identity from Erson forever (even if the recognition did come a little earlier than perhaps was expected). Even if he managed to tell people in the palace, he's just worried that people he didn't even know would recognise him. How on earth would he have kept it all a secret for any great length of time, short of shutting himself away in secret?
Erson is very stoic here, is he just apprehensive or is something more happening? He was very keen to leave before, perhaps he's missing home just a little?
Also have to agree with Jabber's point below about security. I know they're trying to be inconspicuous but surely Erson's mother would have insisted on some kind of security? Who knows what could have befallen them on the journey?
This is a pretty short one as I don't have a lot to comment on, but definitely ready to read on to what happens next! I'm not sure Erson was really listening, as he seems to have a lot on his mind right now, but Myal sure was! How easily will she be persuaded that Buck is a nickname for Buttane, and that the fact they were all shouting Bucket was just a joke?
OH NO. oh no.
ohnoohnoohnoohno Erson is going to know. omg I'll bet Erson was suspicious of it for a while and this will only confirm his suspicions omg omg PLZ DON'T HATE BUCK PLEEEEEEASE
It did briefly occur to me that a prince and princess didn't have a larger caravan or security, but it does sound like they didn't want to attract too much attention. Buck also would have more easily hidden from the crowd if the caravan was bigger, and I really like how Buck was noticed here by a young soul like Rydone's brother.
And I love Rydone. I love that this chapter is taking us back to the beginning with Rydone, Rydone's brother (WHO IS NOW FUSANE YAY!), and the bit about the banana stalls. Honestly, I personally miss Buck's entertainer days and seeing Buck's similar enthusiasm (and dare I say passion) come through as he chatted with his mother was just so touching and wonderful and omg I'm getting sentimental.
I also appreciated the moments of suspense you had in this segment. I kept wondering "oh no is this where ita ll goes wrong oh no is this the moment" which added a thrilling layer to the narrative. I don't know if I was supposed to remember the guard, I admit, so I did appreciate the narrator's brief explanation of her.
But gosh, how appropriate that a young boy is the one that gives him away. Rydone's brother. Who knew he'd play an important role in this novel! I like that you chose to use Fusane as the character who notices Buck. A child's innocence is such a useful and realistic tool for these moments. It was good of Buck to ask Pires to tell his friends not to refer to him as Bucket in the meantime, just in case this happened. Either Fusane forgot what Rydone told him or Rydone never thought to mention it. I imagine, though, it'd be difficult to tell the entire city not to call him Bucket, considering everyone could potentially recognize him. I think there's some varying degree of risk per passerby.
I'm nervous about what's happening next. I predict Erson will shrug it off for now since he seems focused on his mission, and I do feel like there's a potential that Erson will even overlook the fact that Buttane is actually Bucket. Erson just seems like a completely different person now compared to before -- that said, there's the potential of Erson breaking again since he had his heart broken not too long ago already. Adding the fact that Bucket, another friend, lied to him and even was a part of a mission with Erson -- like all of that could be detrimental. However, the end result is the same as Erson's, like everyone wants this marriage to be a thing now for their own personal reasons, so I believe it could be overlooked.
I could also just be overthinking everything though. XD I MUST CONTINUE READIG TO FIND OUT!
Hello, have my review this fine day.
I must say that your dialogue sounds natural and that's wonderful. Nothing with commas or quotes needed there. I really don't have an idea of this story as I randomly reviewed it, so please don't hold my stupidity against me.
Corrected to face paint.
Then moving onto tenses, which is pretty good.
Corrected to warning.
That's about all of the things I sniffed out.
Have a excellent day/night/or morning.