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A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 12.1

by ExOmelas


Buck looked at Myal. Myal looked at Buck. They both looked at the door to the queen’s chambers. Erson was in there explaining his plan and by the sounds of it Merhen wasn’t too impressed. At least, Buck assumed that was what all the shouting was about. He did think he picked out a word every now and then, and there had been something about a war, presumably the queen’s. So perhaps it was ranging somewhat off topic.

“Should we be listening to all this?” Buck said.

Myal shrugged. “You heard him. He said ‘wait here’.”

“I suppose he wanted moral support afterwards,” Buck said. “Probably still will, even moreso after whatever they’re arguing about now.”

“I think I heard the word ‘birthday’,” Myal said.

“Did they have a row on his last birthday?”

“On every birthday.” Myal sighed.

Suddenly the door swung open and Erson powered past them both into the corridor they were standing at the end of. Merhen’s chambers were along from Erson and Myal’s, but not off to the sides. There was a door right at the end that opened into a much wider area. You could see the cylindrical walls of the chambers from the outside, in fact Buck had often wondered what actually took up that space.

Myal jerked her head in Erson’s direction, then ran off after him. Buck hurried to keep up. He had no interest in being the first one Merhen saw when she came out the door.

He caught up with the others just as they nipped into the room they'd had supper in together a few weeks previously. Erson's face was completely still, giving nothing away, but he pointed his head towards the door. Buck closed it behind him, and joined the other two in sitting down at the table. He and Myal sat on the side of the table closest to the door, Erson on the other.

"Well?" Myal swatted at Erson's arms, which were placed carefully on the table in front of him. He sat with poise, the sort of dignity he showed on his throne when they hosted nights in the palace.

A smile started to form, mouth slowly turning upwards on both sides at once. He glanced from one of them to the other. "Well, I'm getting married."

"Yeah!" Myal cried out. She ran around and draped her arms over Erson's shoulders.

Erson's stony expression broke and he laughed, giving her a hug. Buck felt rather a lot like he shouldn't have been there. He glanced at the door, but Erson had after all invited him through it only moments ago.

"Buttane, your thoughts?" Erson said, as Myal sat back down. "And you are still coming with me, yes? I feel your expertise may prove invaluable in navigating the city."

"Of course I'm coming, yes. But, well, I know this is good, but is it jump up and down good? And also was it in any doubt?"

"Well, you know my mother's feelings towards Pires. I think she thought I was deliberately trying to aggravate her at first. But in any case I told you this is good! I'm doing something. Being proactive. Not letting people just walk all over me. Plus, I won't be disinherited."

"And one day you're gonna change the world," Myal said.

Erson grinned and nodded. "That's right. No longer will one be shunned for marrying who they want, or so strapped for cash they have to scam innocent bystanders just to buy a goddam boat!"

Erson's voice got rougher, harsher towards the end, louder too. Myal reached forward and held his hand, but suddenly he was frowning and looking at a point between the two of them. He said, "No longer will a son be locked in pointless, endless arguments with his mother that lead to nothing but ripped throats." He looked up at Buck. "I like the way you say they do it down in Resador, accepting folks of all sorts. Perhaps Resador can be my new capital, and travel south the focus of my kingdom's endeavours."

"I'd be careful," Buck said immediately. "Very little of that land is uninhabited."

"Oh, I had meant for trade," Erson said, "Not land acquisition. That's, er, that's my mother's thing."

"Fair," Buck said, just glad he hadn't accidentally said that Erson could get his father back.

There was silence for a few moments. Buck watched Erson, but he just kept staring at one spot in space then another, saying nothing. Buck tapped Myal's shoulder then motioned with his eyes towards the door. Myal bit her lip, watching Erson, but eventually she nodded.

As they got up she said, "Hey, we're going to give you a moment, but we'll be around if you need to talk, okay?"

Erson looked up, choking a little as he said, "Thank you."

Buck and Myal slipped out into the hall, then immediately gave each other a long, quiet hug.

As they walked away from the door, back towards the public areas of the palace, Buck said, "I actually have to go update my family. My mum said that if this happened then I was to tell her when I was sure and she would consider coming with me. Although I'm surprised she'd leave the farm."

"I wonder if my mother would let me come too. You know how much I'd love to see Resador," Myal said, fidgeting with her dark blue skirt.

Buck chuckled. "That I do. I think you would love it there. You can't imagine the singing and dancing they get up to down there."

"Were you deeply involved in the city?" Myal asked. "I hadn't actually realised. That would explain many of your talents."

Buck was saved from having to lie, to Myal of all people, by Erson calling out to them from the doorway. He emerged fully and jogged down the corridor to catch up to them. From his dark brown robes he pulled a golden envelope, with lovely floral imprinting on the paper.

"Buttane, I have no idea how many preparations will be necessary before I am able to leave, so could you do me a favour?" He offered the envelope to Buck. "This is my letter to Pires accepting her offer - assuming it remains open. Could you visit the horse master and send this with our fastest carrier down ahead of us?"

Buck took the letter and nodded. "Whatever I can do to help."

He had intended to send a letter of his own to Pires, so it was good to know where one could do that in the valley. He held the letter up in a salute, then headed off to ask his mum where in the world he could find the horse master.

As he walked away, he heard Myal say, “That wasn’t much of a moment – shall I leave you a bit longer?”

Erson responded, “Ah, you know I can’t figure out life without you.”

Buck was getting too far away to properly hear Erson’s next sentence, but given Myal’s excited shrieks a moment later he felt it safe to assume she’d just been formally invited to come to Resador, whether with her mother’s permission or without.


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Wed Jun 24, 2020 1:22 pm
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

And Chapter 12 begins. I hope I can get through this and the next one today, then all I have is 14 to tackle tommorow.

First Impression: So everybody is going to back Resador. Sounds great except Buck is going to be unmasked if that happens. Wonder how that's going to turn out.

Let's get to it then,

Suddenly the door swung open and Erson powered past them both into the corridor they were standing at the end of. Merhen’s chambers were along from Erson and Myal’s, but not off to the sides. There was a door right at the end that opened into a much wider area. You could see the cylindrical walls of the chambers from the outside, in fact Buck had often wondered what actually took up that space.


This is a great description although that line about the location seems a bit unclear. Thing is this description feels a bit unnecessary in here. Things are moving fast here and it feels the pacing gets a little too slowed down by the sudden long description.

A smile started to form, mouth slowly turning upwards on both sides at once. He glanced from one of them to the other. "Well, I'm getting married."

"Yeah!" Myal cried out. She ran around and draped her arms over Erson's shoulders.


They both seem a little too excited for this fake marriage. I'd expect the emotion to be more resigned and sound more like he's steeling himself to get through the unpleasant of a grand plan. Essentially marrying Pires would be something that he hates so he would be excited for his plan's success but at least a little bit resigned to the fact that he has to do this thing which he doesn't really want to.

Erson grinned and nodded. "That's right. No longer will one be shunned for marrying who they want, or so strapped for cash they have to scam innocent bystanders just to buy a goddam boat!"


Okay the whole cash part seems a little shoehorned in just for the reference to Raddig. I mean we never saw evidence of poverty before.

There was silence for a few moments. Buck watched Erson, but he just kept staring at one spot in space then another, saying nothing. Buck tapped Myal's shoulder then motioned with his eyes towards the door. Myal bit her lip, watching Erson, but eventually she nodded.


Here the reaction is much more likely. The earlier one, of a little bit more mellowed down, would compliment this well.

"Were you deeply involved in the city?" Myal asked. "I hadn't actually realised. That would explain many of your talents."


Secrets will be spilled by the looks of it or at least disguises will be worn. Also what about poor Victane and Hillene. They left their homes on behalf of Buck and aren't even worth a mention in his thoughts?

Buck was getting too far away to properly hear Erson’s next sentence, but given Myal’s excited shrieks a moment later he felt it safe to assume she’d just been formally invited to come to Resador, whether with her mother’s permission or without.


Okay looks like we shall all be returning to Resador pretty soon. Random question was Resador made from the word Residence?

And that's it for this one.

Overall: Pretty good start to the twelfth chapter. I feel like this will end with them all arriving in Resador.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Tue May 26, 2020 9:00 pm
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mellifera wrote a review...



Hey Bisc!

This has been sitting at the back of the Green Room for a while, so I'm hoping to help you out with that today!

You already know I haven't read any other chapters of this, so I'm apologising here in advance for anything I would have known if I had, but hopefully I can still offer some helpful feedback!

Merhen’s chambers were along from Erson and Myal’s, but not off to the sides.


This line is,,, a little confusing? You lost me at "along from Erson and Myal's" and I'm not sure whether you mean along or possibly across, and the sentence part ("but not off to the sides") didn't clarify anything for me (unless there is? another meaning to "along" that I'm not aware of?).

You could see the cylindrical walls of the chambers from the outside, in fact Buck had often wondered what actually took up that space.


If he's sure it gets bigger on the inside of the room, then how does he not know what's inside?

but he pointed his head towards the door.


I think I know what you meant here, but I find "pointed his head" a strange way to write that? Perhaps "he nodded his head towards the door"?

"Buttane, your thoughts?" Erson said, as Myal sat back down. "And you are still coming with me, yes? I feel your expertise may prove invaluable in navigating the city."

"Of course I'm coming, yes. But, well, I know this is good, but is it jump up and down good? And also was it in any doubt?"


This is purely a question and not part of the review, but who is Buttane? I'm assuming either Myal's or Buck's last name or a nickname, but there's no dialogue tag to follow it, so I can't tell who Erson is addressing.

Erson's stony expression broke and he laughed, giving her a hug.


If a smile formed two lines before this, then wouldn't the stony expression already have broken?

"I'd be careful," Buck said immediately. "Very little of that land is uninhabited."


This is minor, but I don't think you necessarily need "immediately"? He responds right away in the prose, so we already see he responds immediately. If you're trying to get across that he says it a little quickly, I might write something like: "I'd be careful," Buck said the second Erson finished speaking. "Very little of that land is uninhabited."
It's really not a big deal though, so I'll leave that for you :)


okay upon further reading I think Buttane is Buck (a surname? a nickname? an alias?? now I'm cURIOUS)


It seems there's a complex web of events going on! I remember brief snippets when you were talking about this project, that Buck was more than met the eye, and I can certainly see little snippets of it throughout this chapter. If he does have an alias or is hiding his identity in some way, I'd be a little surprised he wasn't more concerned about having it revealed should they be going back to his homeland (although is it truly his homeland? have I gotten a horribly misconstrued idea of what is going on here? WHO KNOWS).

I still enjoy your clean writing style and how well it flows! I'm sorry I can't offer a lot besides line edits, since I don't know much of the plot or the characters, but there's clearly an intriguing story here and some complex characters and relationships here!

I really like Erson's spirit and his apparent drive to do better by (his?) people! I'm curious what kind of character he is on a larger scale, but I do already like his personality!


I don't have much else for you, apologies for the short review! Keep up the good work <3

I hope you have a wonderful day :D




ExOmelas says...


hey melli, many thanks! Yeah, Buck is the name Buttane went by back in the city where he first met Erson, but they suuuuper didn't get along. So when he came here he went by his birthname. (the reason he had the name Buck is it's short for Bucket, which is the name he took when he became court fool in the city they met in). There's a lot going on yes xD

I appreciate your thoughts and honestly thanks for the line edits, they still take time to give and I knew the description at the start of this was a bit shaky :)

Thanks again! :D



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Thu Apr 30, 2020 1:58 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



I myself struggle with transition scenes/chapters, so I know the feel you are feeling right now!

But I can say, I think you at least accomplished what it's meant to be doing!

The conversation at the start between Buck and Myal was a lot of fun and felt super real, too. It was really well done. I could actually hear Myal's sigh IRL when she said the final line there before Erson appeared. XD The conversation was just really well done.

I like this little reminder of Erson's relationship with his mother. It's practically a front row seat -- maybe second row seat. Who knows what they were really bickering about, but apparently the queen is very distracted by the war right now so perhaps she doesn't like the idea of him gallavanting into Resador right now. XD BUT I MEAN they visited Resador earlier for that very reason (I think), so either the queen is stressed or thinks Erson lost his chance for now and shouldn't go. But then she caved and now he's going now so WHO KNOWS.

WE JUST KNOW SHE'S UNHAPPY.

And Erson is happy 'cause his plan is coming to fruition! SO WE ARE HAPPY TOO!!

So like I said before, I think this chapter at least accomplishes what it's supposed to, so I am pleased as a reader to that extent. Erson confirms his trip to Resador, we confirm his goal to become king, and we EVEN address Buck's hope of rescuing his father, unbeknownst to the other characters.

I think that last point is important because if I remember correctly, Buck was driven to accept Pires' request because of the possibility of seeing his father again. It's definitely important not to lose sight of Buck's motivation here, so that was definitely key, I think. Certainly he'll have some memories of his father that are most likely triggered while he's home with his mother, so he certainly hasn't forgotten about the possibility of seeing his father again.

But yeah, I do think the chapter at least covers significant bits. It may not be in the most exciting way (though I still really love the beginning bit with Buck and Myal XD), but I think it's at least got some purpose to it so we can continue moving forward. And also a good catch on Erson sending word to Pires ASAP so she knew of their pending arrival and purpose!

I am VERY scared about Buck returning home now knowing that Hilene might be involved in a thing and I am SCARED. But I do think visiting them is long overdue for the reader, so I look forward to seeing some interaction nonetheless. Just to get a feel for where their relationships stand now with Buck working for the court a lot nowadays.




ExOmelas says...


what the heck how did I not notice this? omg this is an amazing surprise :D

Good good, this is basically what I was expecting in response to this part of the chapter. There's suuuuper drama in the next bit, so I guess in a way this is a calm before the storm.

I actually did have a motivation for them going down to Resador in the first place but I never got a chance to bring it up. The Queen wanted Erson away from Raddig, so convinced him to go tour Resador, but then he got very annoyed when Pires proposed marriage again and by that point everyone is gossiping about Merhen so she's not that thrilled to stay there either. Does that make sense?

Thanks for the review :D



JabberHut says...


Ooooh, that does make sense! The queen wanted to distract him from Raddig with Resador, and that ended up making things worse hahahahaha. I like that though, that definitely makes sense!



ExOmelas says...


yay :D




Also. Jack, why do I feel like you are responsible for spamming the site with the Bee Movie quote in the quote generator. *looks suspiciously*
— alliygator