Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Fantasy


A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 15.1

by ExOmelas


Buck took a deep breath, and opened the door to Pires’s office.

“Oh. Hello, Erson,” he said.

Erson was sitting directly in front of Pires’s desk, exactly where Buck usually sat. The sunlight streamed in across the two of them, illuminating some paper on the desk. As Buck moved into the room he saw that there were already a couple of words and phrases jotted down, but he had to go grab an extra chair so he couldn’t immediately see what they were. Pires always kept a few less luxuriously cushioned chairs up against the far right wall of the room in case any allies were joining them for discussions. Usually Buck was there before the ally though, and sitting in his usual chair.

“Morning, Bucket,” Pires said as he drew the chair up to sit next to them. “Erson got here early, as you can imagine, he and Myal staying in the palace of course.”

“I – yes, that makes sense,” Buck said, sitting down on Erson’s left.

Erson turned to face him. “Good morning.”

Buck gulped and turned to Pires. “So, where have you got so far?”

Pires turned the paper around to face him. “Well, we’ve been given the name of the ambassador who’s coming to meet us. Seemingly it’s a rather small party being sent first – just the ambassador, a ship captain and a single deckhand. Then they’ll return home and discuss… essentially discuss whether I am more worth contact with than my father. They did not get on so well with my father.”

“I understand,” Erson said. He leaned in slightly, facing straight forward. “What exactly will they be looking for in you?”

“My father – and Buck’s for that matter – had a habit of taking what wasn’t theirs. I like to think that they would never have had tried to take those islands by force but if the forces had been weaker and they thought they could have taken them… I can’t speak for Buck’s father but I’m not confident mine would have stuck to diplomatic endeavours,” Pires said. Her eyes stuck to the notes, not meeting Erson’s. Buck had never really considered that; his father had never been the fighting type. But he’d been far too young to know Pires’s father. The only thing he really remembered was that his Royal Guard uniforms were less brightly coloured than Pires’s.

“You certainly have a handle on diplomacy,” Erson said. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Buck chuckled for the briefest of moments before his conscious mind caught up with him.

“Essentially we just have to be courteous, on our best behaviour and not try to swindle, manoeuvre, or otherwise manipulate the ambassador,” Pires said.

Now Erson did look at Pires. He raised an eyebrow and said, “I didn’t think that was what you meant by diplomacy.”

Pires looked away from him and turned her notes back around, putting her quill to the page. But she didn’t write anything new yet. She cleared her throat. “We have a clean slate. We can do this.”

Buck glanced down as his eyes widened. He’d left Simone in the bucket at Victane’s with his mum. He hadn’t expected to run into Erson quite so soon, but he’d figured it would happen eventually. And when it did, he was hoping to avoid the mention of buckets or foolery, on either side. Of course, Pires had immediately cried out his name as he entered the room, so that was that for that plan. That was actually an oddly simple mistake for Pires to make, but maybe she was just as stomach-churningly nervous as him. In any case, he was glad he did not have Simone with her while they discussed theft from a foreign nation.

“So this nation,” Erson said, breaking the silence that had begun to stretch, “they are interested in scientific advancement? I heard there was some intrigue over a cooling device. Not that there’s much need for a cooling device where I come from, but it’s a fascinating idea – perpetual temperature regulation.”

Pires glanced at Buck, who shrugged. He was just glad Erson wasn’t burping in his face.

“Yes, it was an invention of Buck’s father’s, and he was taken into service to develop it for them, as essentially punishment,” Pires said. She stopped short of exactly what for. Buck wasn’t sure if she knew about Simone, in fact. Perhaps her father had told her.

“I won’t pry,” Erson said, looking at Buck for the first time since he’d come in. Then he turned back to Pires. “But tell me more about this ambassador. Have they gone on missions like this before? The arrangement sounds rather specific is all I’m thinking.”

“It didn’t say in the letter but, er, I think so,” Pires said. “They must have swift boats to be meeting us so fast. They sent a single messenger with the letter, and that’s not even to precede the main party, just the ambassador. I think it’s a safe bet that they’re sailing out to other places quite often. Why do you ask?”

“I’m just curious,” Erson said. “It would be nice to eventually meet more people from around the world, see how they live their lives. I don’t think anybody thinks this kingdom is perfect, and thanks to… what we’re doing… I will have the chance to make some changes one day. Perhaps I shall be able to see some other ways of building a society.”

Buck smiled despite everything. He remembered Erson saying something like that back in the Royal Valley. Perhaps one day all of this would be behind them and Erson would be busy changing the world. The conversation went on for a while with Erson asking more questions about the nation, though Pires ran out of answers soon. For being such a key part of the recent history of Resador, Buck for one had given very little thought to that nation off to the south. Pires had brought it up very rarely too. But now they had to face it, and their history, if for no other reason than to satisfy some of Erson’s burgeoning curiosity.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1394 Reviews


Points: 76307
Reviews: 1394

Donate
Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:06 pm
View Likes
JabberHut wrote a review...



Oh, this is exciting!!

First of all, I reeeally like how you showed the tension in this chapter. I feel like you pretty accurately displayed everyone's emotions in this scenario. Erson is bitter about it and not afraid to hold back his distaste (and why should he be? DEFEND YOURSELF!), Pires is holding her head high as well as she can while still feeling a little uncomfortable with recent events, and Buck is being very cautious about what he says and does.

I love how this is immediately focusing on the main story again and even goes into the history of Buck's father (AND PIRES' FATHER??). It's a crucial discussion that helps the reader refocus on the reason for everything that's happened so far and what the next step may be. But also important in that Erson is now somewhat caught up with what's happening. So not only are we seeing Pires continue moving her plans forward, but Erson is now discovering where his part will be in all this.

and he's NOT afraid to use it for personal gain. After the entirety of Pires' discussion, I LOOOOOOOVE how you ended the piece with Erson's personal goal too. He intends to make changes in the world today, and much like how Pires and Buck manipulated him, he's goin to use them to forward his own agenda too. IT'S SO GOOD.

It had never occurred to me that Pires might not know about Simone, but he never really shows her off to anyone. She's always hidden in the bucket if anywhere, so that totally lines up and idk why I hadn't noticed that. But I wonder if Pires really knows, and if she doesn't, will she care when she finds out? Would she like Simone? Would she turn on Buck if she finds out about Simone?

Erson is the most interesting in this bit. He's represented so well here, and I like how down-to-business he is. He has small quips here and there, and he didn't even touch the subject of Buck's father, but he jumped right into the diplomacy part of things to get an idea of how to move forward. basically, he has a lot of initiative, and it's nice to see that version of Erson merge with his newfound character development and goal to become a king that makes worthy changes to the world. It's just nice to see him in his element with his goal in mind.

I wonder what the ambassador will be like and how he'll affect their plans. It's such an anomaly at this point, like who knows how this is going to go. I trust Pires and Erson will be diplomatic -- but Erson could still find an opportunity to "make fools" of Pires and Buck too. idk, man, anything can really happen.

I look forward to finding out soon!!




User avatar
728 Reviews


Points: 41716
Reviews: 728

Donate
Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:27 am
View Likes
IcyFlame wrote a review...



I'm finally up to date! And I beat @JabberHut here *cackles evily*.

Ok, so! I read the last few posts but haven't commented anything as I'm not too sure I had anything really to add to your other reviews. Please do let me know if you want any thoughts on them though as I'm happy to share.

As Buck moved into the room he saw that there were already a couple of words and phrases jotted down, but he had to go grab an extra chair so he couldn’t immediately see what they were.

Phrasing here feels a bit off - mostly the second half of the sentence.

“I won’t pry,” Erson said, looking at Buck for the first time since he’d come in. Then he turned back to Pires. “But tell me more about this ambassador. Have they gone on missions like this before? The arrangement sounds rather specific is all I’m thinking.”

Has he stopped playing the fool then? He seems in a generally bad mood (understandable) but other than that seems back to his normal self. Is this just because they're alone? Or has he decided that was getting him nowhere?

“I’m just curious,” Erson said. “It would be nice to eventually meet more people from around the world, see how they live their lives. I don’t think anybody thinks this kingdom is perfect, and thanks to… what we’re doing… I will have the chance to make some changes one day. Perhaps I shall be able to see some other ways of building a society.”

Hmmm, I get the sneaking suspicion that Erson is up to something!

One thing I have noticed in the past couple of sections is that you seem to end them very well, but this makes each new section seem like the beginning of a chapter and for that reason I'm not sure how well they will flow together when you remove the sectioning. I'm sure this will be clearer on a full read through but may just be something to watch out for.

I hope we hear from Myal soon, I don't want her to be upset at Buck for too long!
I was also surprised that Buck thought perhaps Pires wouldn't know the details of his father's punishment - I thought they were very close? Considering how much she seems to trust him and confide in him, it seems odd to think she might not know everything about him.

That's it from me - feel free to tag me when you post the next section!

This is also my final review for Team Tortoise... woohoo!!

Icy




ExOmelas says...


Hey, thanks for the review! :D And congrats on Team Tortoise ^.^ And yeah, Myal section coming up this week I thiiiiiiink. And cool, I will tag you :D



User avatar
291 Reviews


Points: 29025
Reviews: 291

Donate
Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:49 pm
View Likes
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And time for me to get some humor to round out a day of dark stories.

First Impression: Sounds like a setup to some sneaky ambassador arrivals. All in Erson appears to have gotten past the farting phase which is good.

Anyway getting right to it,

Erson was sitting directly in front of Pires’s desk, exactly where Buck usually sat. The sunlight streamed in across the two of them, illuminating some paper on the desk. As Buck moved into the room he saw that there were already a couple of words and phrases jotted down, but he had to go grab an extra chair so he couldn’t immediately see what they were. Pires always kept a few less luxuriously cushioned chairs up against the far right wall of the room in case any allies were joining them for discussions. Usually Buck was there before the ally though, and sitting in his usual chair.


Nice bit of information introduced there. It works out pretty well.

“Erson got here early, as you can imagine, he and Myal are staying in the palace of course.”


That word needs to be added.

Pires turned the paper around to face him. “Well, we’ve been given the name of the ambassador who’s coming to meet us. Seemingly it’s a rather small party being sent first – just the ambassador, a ship captain and a single deckhand. Then they’ll return home and discuss… essentially discuss whether I am more worth contact with than my father. They did not get on so well with my father.”


So they continue to get messages from this king fellow I suppose although how the messages manage to make it back and forth before the ambassador arrives suggest some very fast birds or this island is pretty close by.

Now Erson did look at Pires. He raised an eyebrow and said, “I didn’t think that was what you meant by diplomacy.”


I didn't think that would be her idea of diplomacy either.

Buck glanced down as his eyes widened. He’d left Simone in the bucket at Victane’s with his mum. He hadn’t expected to run into Erson quite so soon, but he’d figured it would happen eventually. And when it did, he was hoping to avoid the mention of buckets or foolery, on either side. Of course, Pires had immediately cried out his name as he entered the room, so that was that for that plan. That was actually an oddly simple mistake for Pires to make, but maybe she was just as stomach-churningly nervous as him. In any case, he was glad he did not have Simone with her while they discussed theft from a foreign nation.


So is Simone always in the bucket or was this just the one time thing?

“Yes, it was an invention of Buck’s father’s, and he was taken into service to develop it for them, as essentially punishment,” Pires said.


Wait wasn't the whole thing already developed and successful? Why would they need him to develop it more?

Buck smiled despite everything. He remembered Erson saying something like that back in the Royal Valley. Perhaps one day all of this would be behind them and Erson would be busy changing the world. The conversation went on for a while with Erson asking more questions about the nation, though Pires ran out of answers soon. For being such a key part of the recent history of Resador, Buck for one had given very little thought to that nation off to the south. Pires had brought it up very rarely too. But now they had to face it, and their history, if for no other reason than to satisfy some of Erson’s burgeoning curiosity.


Erson does appear to pretty lofty goals.

Overall: This is overall a great little set up for what might be some really interesting scenes to come in the future. And not much else happened in this little bit so that's about all that chapter.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




ExOmelas says...


Ayyy I can actually reply to this since I'm not hurriedly trying to catch up with your reviews :P Yeah, I left it stupid late again so I didn't have time to actually get into the ambassador arriving. Plus I'm trying to figure out pacing because ideally this section would be as long as the previous section (Resador pt1 and the Royal Valley were both about 25k each) but I haven't had time to plan out fun additional stuff like I did for the other sections, so I'm just trying not to hit the climax of the action too soon.

Thanks for the review :D



HarryHardy says...


Your Welcome!!
Yaa probably a good idea not to hit the action too soon. Good luck with your writing!!!




I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon