Last night I found my headphones.
Long lost, buried under ghostly dust,
Their voice, guttural and hoarse
Covers the sublime silence.
Old tunes, eternally in competition
With their younger brothers, chime,
Melting souls, healing hearts,
Drops of color on this canvas called
Life.
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140,068 Literary Works • 672,978 Reviews
Leave a comment or review! Remember, the minimum review length is about 4 complete sentences. Wow congrats for this work its really deep and one may not be able to properly understand what is been written without proper comprehension of each verse and stanza.
I like the way you actually presented the poem using lots of inspiring personifications and oxymorons making each line seem to have contradicted itself in a rather wholesome manner.
Discovering ones telephone buried under a ghostly dust is one line I love in this work and using it as a sublime is excellent.
HELLO BURANKO <3 Your poetry is always so interesting, and this is no exception! I feel like every time I read a new poem of yours, I go "this is my new favourite," and that is how I feel about this poem cx
I really love the simplicity of it - especially because you talked about music filling in silence, the shortness of this contributed to the haunting, empty atmosphere I got from this post. And you also used some lovely phrases that correspond with the mood as well. I'm just going to leave some of my thoughts on the lines of this poem, and maybe that will help you in seeing how I perceived it! <3
"ghostly dust" -> AHHH my favourite phrase out of the whole poem! Like because of this phrase specifically, I have such a vivd picture of the setting of this poem. I'm imagining a room with blue tones, the speaker sitting on their bed, and the room is dimly lit with moonlight. Empty, sparse room. Ghostly dust is such a cool phrase, and not only that, but it makes sense visually because it can be hard to notice (unless it accumulates) and it's quite light
Okay so this part I found particularly interesting! You describe the headphones' voice in more of a negative connotation with words like "guttural" and "hoarse," and the silence is "sublime" - this makes sense, because the headphones were "long lost," and if the speaker likes the silence, their headphones are probably not that important to them, and so, they are lost easily. That's what I interpreted, not sure if that was your original meaning xD
Okay so here the tone switches up a bit. The first stanza had more of a melancholy feeling, while this one is brighter, and I can imagine sunshine seeping into the room. This makes sense to me, because maybe music brought light and happiness? and took away that darker feeling? But then I'm wondering why "guttural" and "hoarse" were used at first to describe the headphones. Just a thought I had! ^_^
OKAY THIS IS A VERY RANDOM THOUGHT I HAD but I was just thinking, what if you switched the order of "healing hearts" and "melting souls"? Then it'll make it seem like when the soul melts, it'll leave drops of colour that land on the canvas :O I just think that's a cool idea, because your soul leaving colours on life is just a pretty thought <3 BUT ANYWAY, I love the idea of "melting souls" -> I'm imagining like a golden blob melting, and it's again contributing to that change of atmosphere I felt
Also, love the idea of life being described as a canvas - it's like you can make whatever you want out of it, and the "clean slate" idea is reinforced in that.
I hope you can make sense of my rambling cx I super enjoyed reading and (trying) to dissect this poem - you've got some super neat thoughts here, and your word choice and language is always my favourite part of your poems. I hope to read more from you soon <3
Awwww glad you liked it. I used guttural and hoarse just like you said, to show age and how would they affect the silence. However, I changed the tone of it in a happier tone, trying to show that nothing is set in stone, even some bad sounding headphones can bring happiness and joy when music appears.
Like the first stanza is a serious, colorless atmosphere but once music comes to help, everything vgets some color.
Beautiful poem! Short but very powerful. I loved the imagery and the small metaphors. It's short so there's not too much to say but I am confused by one line.
Is this saying their younger brothers are chime, melting souls and healing hearts? Or is it saying chime is their younger brother? This was a bit confusing for me so please clarify! Otherwise it was a very nice poem and I really enjoyed reading it!
The old tunes chime along with the younger tunes. Thanks for review <3
I love the imagery in this poem, I can just imagine colour filling the room and your mind where it once was black and grey. It's a beautiful representation of the power of music, or even just being revived from the dullness of life, and the contrast between 'ghostly dust' and 'drops of colour' really gives that effect.
I enjoyed reading this poem
Hello. Here I am to provide you with an honest review. Hope you find it useful. So, let's jump to the review.
Well. Procrastination! I opened your writing seeing this word. Life has really turned into a procrastinating life. The concept of headphones was really good. The way you described life as a canvas is also appreciable.
I genuinely loved these lines.
Overall, I enjoyed reading the piece. Well done. Keep writing.
I love procrastinating until the last day before a deadline heh. It's a vicious cycle of working, getting work, procrastinating and working again
Yeah. Hey, can you pls review my work Cortez Shivick( Chapter 1) ?
I love this! It’s so beautiful!
Dang nice. It’s really interesting how you have contrasting takes on the headphones’ influence, first covering up the sublime silence with a guttural voice, then melting souls, healing hearts, and coloring life.
I wonder what era and genre you listen to?