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Our lady Winter

by Buranko



The sky, never ending abyss,
Drowns mortal gazes with disdain.
The virgin moon and noble stars, celestial choir,
Humming cold songs, requiems mourning
The death of nature.

Winter's icy dress erotically reveals
Two naked shoulders, delicate and pale,
Passion, addiction, lust,
Nectar and ambrosy, all flowing
In this silk river.

The horizon, never ending abyss,
Drowned in snow, drowned in fog,
Chanting with haunting winds
The requiems mourning
Winter's cold love.


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11 Reviews


Points: 659
Reviews: 11

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Fri Feb 19, 2021 8:01 pm
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Emivanz1 wrote a review...



This poem is amazing. I live in a place where winter is not that prominent of a season and I don't really get to experience the beauty of it. I love how you described it as, "The death of nature." This description gives off a kind of dark beauty of it. The pert about, "winters cold love" was really deep. Winter like other things is cold but once you get past that initial "fear" you can see the warmth of it. This poem is amazing and gives off a wonderful message.




Buranko says...


Glad you liked it



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266 Reviews


Points: 2285
Reviews: 266

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Fri Feb 19, 2021 3:09 am
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silented1 wrote a review...



The sky, never ending abyss, an abyss doesn't look like anything. Try an image like a cup of black coffee. Something to give us an idea. I mean, am abyss is an underwater trench. So, that could look like a thing. Good line actually. Because it is maybe a solid relationship.
Drowns mortal gazes with disdain.
The virgin moon and noble stars, celestial choir, you used images and described them with music. It sounds nice but doesn't make a lot of sense.
Humming cold songs, requiems mourning
The death of nature. this are good lines, they're more developed than the others. I want to see something that I can feel like my breathe on a cold day.

Winter's icy dress erotically reveals
Two naked shoulders, delicate and pale,
Passion, addiction, lust,
Nectar and ambrosy, all flowing
In this silk river. This stanza flows so well. Its really spdd up. I like it a lot. Learn how to do this with your poetry. Speed up powerful lines. And make others slower.

The horizon, never ending abyss,
Drowned in snow, drowned in fog,
Chanting with haunting winds
The requiems mourning
Winter's cold love.




Buranko says...


Thanks for your review but I really want to point out the fact that metaphors don't have to be tangible, to be seen. I see that you are more on the practical, science side but please when reviewing poetry try to stop the practical side where everything is what it says it is.



silented1 says...


Okay.




You must believe in free will; there is no choice.
— Isaac Bashevis Singer