The earth was trembling from
Sun and water
Summer's tender snow
Melting in your hands
The wind and its whispers
Giggles in your hair
He smiles looking at me
Playfully
I am standing still
Between insects and songs
Measuring the amount of grass blades
Surrounding your legs
Hey there! MapleWay here dropping by with a quick review!
Wow. This poem was so relaxing and soothing. I really enjoyed reading it! My favorite part had to be the "Summer's tender snow Melting in your hands." It fit so well into the poem! And I know at this point I'm kinda just repeating what everyone else has said but I could really think of what else I could say. Anyways fantastic poem! Definitely deserved a literary spotlight!
This is a nice relaxing poem. I think you convey the emotion of summer quite well. Describing wind as a whimsical, playful character as if it were a person is a nice touch that really elevates the mood. However, I feel that your first stanza could use a bit of work, after reading over it several times I'm not sure what it is saying. Perhaps a revision of it could help. All in all a nice little piece! Happy writing!
This was so calming to read. It reminded me of blue skies and warm hugs.
I hope you are doing well this lovely day or night.
- Stellarjay
120,181 Literary Works • 648,936 Reviews
Points: 18
Reviews: 93
Donate