Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Mystery / Suspense


by Buranko

Azure tears of the sky
Slowly pierce the thick
Cloud blanket.
Howling winds are stroking
The lonely plains.

A shiver penetrates my soul
As I watch the horizon.
My being shrinks and twists
At the sound of its moans.

There it is
Slender, its head
Hanging from the moon, its hands
Dangle in the wind.

The creature shrieks
It raises one hand and
Grabs the sun.
Darkness envelops the plains with
Golden blood pouring
on the virgin nature.

The sky withers
Nature griefs seeing
The dead sun melting
In its throne.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
117 Reviews

Points: 11681
Reviews: 117

Sun Nov 08, 2020 1:32 am
View Likes
LUNARGIRL wrote a review...

Wow, really good job on the poem. You use great description and you have such a unique way of describing the changing of the seasons to winter. You had a great use of punctuation, along with your imagery. I loved the words that you used like, "Azure", "envelops", "pierce", and more!

I especially love the line,
"Darkness envelops the plains with
Golden blood pouring
on the virgin nature."
You have such a interesting way of describing the change of seasons to winter. The sun slowly disappearing into the dark cloudy sky.

My favorite part was the second stanza,
"A shiver penetrates my soul
As I watch the horizon.
My being shrinks and twists
At the sound of its moans."
It describes the narrator's reaction to the changing of seasons, and how it affects them physically.

Overall great job, I loved the unique way you described the changing of seasons to winter. Can't wait to read what you write next!

Carpe diem,

User avatar
50 Reviews

Points: 2549
Reviews: 50

Thu Oct 22, 2020 9:55 am
View Likes
Euphoria8 wrote a review...

Hey, Euphoria here! I enjoyed this poem so much! I like that you haven't written about winter itself, but rather, the transition from fall to winter!

One thing I love is the words you have chosen in the poem! "Azure", "pierce", "shrinks and twists" and many more!

The personifications employed here also do a masterful job of making this more enjoyable: "howling winds are stroking the lonely plains", "the sky withers" etc

I'm not sure what your intention was when you described the creature but I interpreted it as a metaphor for winter and I'm sure many others may have other interpretations as well so I like that you kept that open. You also successfully described the creature so well that I could visualise it!

Overall, it's a great poem that I had tons of fun reading! Thank you for sharing and keep growing <3

User avatar
80 Reviews

Points: 33
Reviews: 80

Thu Oct 22, 2020 12:22 am
View Likes
Em16 wrote a review...

First off, I love the use of the word azure! It’s so interesting and fun, quite a contrast to the bland “blue” usually used in describing the sky. I also love the personification of the “howling winds”, where you write they are “Stroking / the lonely plains”.
I was a little confused, though, when in paragraph three, you describe something hanging from the moon. I don’t really understand what creature you’re referring to there- is it a personification of winter? Is it the nighttime? I would suggest you elaborate a little more on what you mean here.
I love the last stanza, though, where you personify nature, and describe its grief. I think that’s such a beautiful way to describe the onslaught of winter, which often does feel like mourning. But at the same time, you glorify summer, placing the sun on a throne as it dies. It’s quite nuanced and poignant.
Overall, this poem was amazing! I love all the ideas and the descriptions that combine to make something really meaningful.

Buranko says...

I tried to suggest the creature was really tall. Its head was hanging from the moon

User avatar
12 Reviews

Points: 93
Reviews: 12

Wed Oct 21, 2020 10:22 am
Denizen wrote a review...

What wonderful use of punctuation! The short, stunning sentences are extremely powerful, and the pauses induced by the lack of periods creates a slow, tense read, one I enjoyed. I love the imagery of a creature grabbing at the sun. You've used very vivid language, which holds well within the poem, great job.

"Cowards die many times before their deaths; but the valiant will never taste of death but once."
— Julius Caesar