Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Other


Why is the sea blue

by Buranko


Why is the sea blue?
No one knows the answer.
I, a mere human being
Can only assume.

Blue like the sky
The heaven's floor may also be
Blue.
Maybe the sea is a mirror of the sky.
Imitating the greatness of it
The depth, the dangers
But also the freedom
It offers.

Blue like a child’s eye,
That blooms in darker tones
As a means of showing innocence
Maybe the sea is innocent.
Virgin, serene
Just like a child.

Or blue like a peacock
That boasts with its
Royal clothing.
Maybe the sea is prideful
And loves showing off
Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes.

The sea. Mysterious, calm.
Always moving sometimes reckless,
Laughs like a child yet feels old,
Keeps some secrets but reveals others.
But there is one secret we will never find out
Why is the sea blue?


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
22 Reviews


Points: 479
Reviews: 22

Donate
Thu Sep 24, 2020 12:49 am
View Likes
spunkyspacekitty wrote a review...



Hi Buranko!

I have a hard time reviewing poems (mainly because they are usually short) but this one was so beautiful, I had to review it.

There is such rich and almost elegant imagery, it captures perfectly what I think about the sea. I've never been able to describe how I feel about the sea before, so good job! One thing though, the line were you said,

"blue like a child's eye"

Isn't really correct, since there are other colors of eyes. But I get the point you were trying to get across. Also, @LittleLee said

"Water absorbs colours from the red part of the light spectrum, leaving only blue for our eyes to see."

although it is true, it doesn't feel like the question is childish. Mainly because a lot of people don't know why the sea is blue.

Anyway, this is probably the best poem I have ever read, thanks for writing this!

Spunkyspacekitty out




Buranko says...


Thanks, I am glad to hear you liked my poem.



User avatar
200 Reviews


Points: 14056
Reviews: 200

Donate
Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:23 am
View Likes
LittleLee wrote a review...



Hello, Buranko!

I saw this while scrolling through the poetry section, and the title caught my eye. The poem itself didn't disappoint; it's a well-written piece with rich imagery and fairly good diction. But note that the title requires a question mark at the end. You've phrased it as a question, so it must behave as one. Otherwise, change it to "Why the sea is blue."

Several others have beaten me to pointing out the technical mistakes in the poem, so I'll take a different turn. I'll be giving my thoughts in general.

Please note that I do not mean to offend you; I'm just trying to give you some honest feedback.


So, to the point.

The topic is off. If the poem has been narrated by a child (there are only hints tat this is so, but you need to strongly imply such a thing to make it work) then the poem makes sense, but again the diction is too strong for a child. If it hasn't been told from a child's perspective, one has to assume the narrator is philosophizing rather... strongly.

Why is the sea blue? Water absorbs colours from the red part of the light spectrum, leaving only blue for our eyes to see. I don't know, I feel like even if this is written as a philosophical poem it's more than a little childish. And I'd also like to point out that a good deal of the poem doesn't even answer this question; you describe the blueness of the sea, but you don't theorize on why it's blue at all, except in the very beginning when you say it's a reflection of the sky.

Blue like a child’s eye

I'm nitpicking here, but not all children have blue eyes. If you want to say the sea is as innocent as a child, compare that with a child, not the colour. Like, "innocent as a child." Not "the sea is blue like a child's eye so perhaps it is innocent."

And loves showing off
Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes.

This was the one image that didn't really work. Firstly, most people associate the colours grey and black with hurricanes and storms, definitely not an "expensive blue;" what did you even mean by that?
Secondly, hurricanes and storms bring to mind destruction and suffering, and "showing off" is an odd way of describing what the sea does.
Thirdly, there has to be a comma after "colors," or the hurricane line is just a detached phrase that isn't connected to the previous line.

But there is one secret we will never find out
Why is the sea blue?

I feel like this was just an attempt to bring the poem into a full circle, and it isn't a suitable ending. You can't go on describing the sea and then throw in what you mentioned at the beginning; it doesn't sit well.


Okay, now that all that's out of the way, I applaud you on your rich imagery once again ("royal clothing" was a great way to put it), the scattering of alliterations, and the sense of vastness you imposed on readers. It's all done quite well.

I apologize if my review was too critical; I know I nitpicked, but I do like this poem and would like to see it get better and better. I hope you keep writing!

- Lee




Buranko says...


No problem, different people have different opinions. What I tried was to make the impression of a thinker but with a childish mind, somewhat like me. I agree with most things you said but that one with the child's eyes I can't. It is true, not everyone has blue eyes, but I believe that as the author I can make what ever world I wish, in an artistical sense, and in the beginning every single child has blue eyes (lack of melanin) so I wasn't far from the truth.
Thanks for reviewing xD



User avatar
7 Reviews


Points: 199
Reviews: 7

Donate
Tue Sep 22, 2020 8:49 am
View Likes
SummerBlues wrote a review...



Hello Buranko! I am here to drop a review, it's so beautiful I cannot help myself, it's been a while since I've been this moved by a poem :) Anyway, let's jump into the review, I hope you will find it helpful ;)

First of all, I love your title, which sounds like something a child would ask his mother out of curiosity -- the kind of childlike innocent curiosity you see in youth that is somehow lost through growing up. The speaker's self-reflection as 'a mere human being' is interesting, it acknowledges a being superior to and is above humans, perhaps a subtle implication of a Creator that induces a sense of divinity in the poem. This is reinforces when you describe the sky as 'heaven's floor', which is a very beautiful and nice allusion.

"Blue like a child’s eye,
That blooms in darker tones
As a means of showing innocence
Maybe the sea is innocent.
Virgin, serene
Just like a child."

Your third stanza echoes the childlike innocence implied by the title, and I love how you takes a further step forward to declare that the sea is innocent, which really captures the inexpressible feeling generated in me whenever I went sea-gazing, like I am revisiting my lost piece of innocence.

"Or blue like a peacock
That boasts with its
Royal clothing.
Maybe the sea is prideful
And loves showing off
Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes."

The simile here is an interesting one, it's very unique to compare the blue of the sea as peacock, and then as a piece of royal clothing that suggests the pridefulness of the sea. Not only did you capture the different hues of the sea accurately and beautifully, but you also introduce another dimension to the sea's nature aside from its innocence -- its storms and hurricanes. "Maybe the sea is prideful" is such a wonderful parallel to your third stanza's declaration of the sea's innocence.

At last, you sum up the previous two qualities of the sea in a simple yet exceedingly wonderful sentence -- " always moving sometimes reckless, laughs like a child yet feels old". The secretiveness of the sea pointed out here at the last stanza is a smart move, it sums up your poem nicely while offering a sweet, enthralling touch for the readers at the end, with the question once again asked.

I love this poem so much, it's so beautifully-written and I have no other words to express how much your poem affects and moves me -- in a good way of course. The imageries weaved between the lines offer layers and a deeper sense of complexity in understanding and encapsulating what the sea is truly like, and it is amazing you can capture all of these in a wonderfully complicated simplicity. There's not much mistakes I can find, I believe the previous reviews have tackled to that quite well so I would not say more on that. Over all, it's a very brilliant and stunning piece, please continue to write more!! I am looking forward to reading more of your works in the future :)

Summer




Buranko says...


Thanks for taking the time to read my poem and I am soooo glad you liked it.



User avatar
298 Reviews


Points: 22800
Reviews: 298

Donate
Mon Sep 21, 2020 1:26 pm
View Likes
whatchamacallit wrote a review...



Hi there Buranko! I'm here for a quick #RevMo review on this lovely poem!

This poem is brimming with sweet imagery and I absolutely love it. I especially enjoyed the lines

Maybe the sea is prideful
And loves showing off
Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes.

because to me it brought to mind some fancy witch swirling in her dark blue cloaks, the way a hurricane spins ~ which is a really gorgeous and unique image!

I also liked that the descriptions didn't get repetitive; each stanza painted a new picture for the reader. But it didn't get confusing or disorganized either -> the thread of it being about the sea, that continues throughout, helps to keep it all connected.

I agree with grammar / punctuation / capitalization that your other reviewers have mentioned, so I won't go there too much. The only thing I wanted to point out was that the final stanza needs one extra commas, like this:
The sea. Mysterious, calm.
Always moving, sometimes reckless,

You'll see I just added one comma after "moving" (;

Re: wording, there was just one line that really stood out to me:
I, a mere human being

Something about saying "human being" sounds colder and more detached than "human", and I think the line would also just flow better if you took out "being".

I also think that switching out plain old "blue" for some other words might help spice up the poem. In the spoiler below you can find some synonyms!
Spoiler! :
Image


I really like how you try out different adjectives to describe the sea: "virgin", "serene", "prideful", "mysterious", "calm" -> you show the reader how complicated the sea can be, instead of just say "oh, it's calm and glassy" or "yup, dangerous and wild!", which is a much less holistic approach.

Overall, this is a really sweet poem that I enjoyed reading! I hope this is useful, and if you've got any questions feel free to ask!

Keep writing!

whatchamacallit




Buranko says...


Thanks for the synonims, 100% will use them. Ah and also, glad u liked it



User avatar
127 Reviews


Points: 4389
Reviews: 127

Donate
Sat Sep 19, 2020 8:10 pm
View Likes
Gravitem wrote a review...



Hey Buranko! It's Myth here with a review. I hope this helps you.

I'm mostly going to be critiquing the most evident thing in your poem, which is the style - the line capitalization (capitalizing the first word of every line). Now I get that this is a choice of style but there are many instances where this threw the poem off beat. I'm going to list some of these instances and tell you what they lack and what could be done to improve these parts.

I, a mere human being
Can only assume.


Here, it's not necessarily messing with the rhythm of the poem, but it is certainly tricky because capital letters usually mark the start of a new idea or sentence and this can be confusing at times but it really isn't too big of a problem since this is clearly your choice of style.

Blue like the sky
The heaven's floor may also be
Blue.

There should be a comma after "sky".

Imitating the greatness of it
The depth, the dangers
But also the freedom
It offers.


There should be a semicolon after the first quoted line as it's followed by a couple of ideas. "The depth, the dangers" should end with a period (full stop).

In a lot of these verses, there are line capitalizations when the lines are enjambments (continuation of a sentence from the previous lines - a phrase) and they don't usually go together. Of course, it's not a problem as long as you're able to convey what you intend to convey.

Blue like a child’s eye,


The comma here isn't needed.

As a means of showing innocence
Maybe the sea is innocent.


You could either put a semicolon after "innocence" or end the sentence with a period, but since there are more related ideas later, I'd say that you shouldn't have ended the sentence at "innocent" and instead you should have put a semicolon there and ended the sentence earlier instead.

This is what I mean

As a means of showing innocence.
Maybe the sea is innocent;
Virgin, serene
Just like a child


Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes.

There should be a comma after "colors" and not a period.

The sea. Mysterious, calm.

The sea shouldn't be followed by a period, but a semicolon or a hyphen. You could also replace that comma after "Mysterious" with an "and" but that's up to you.

Always moving sometimes reckless,
Laughs like a child yet feels old,
Keeps some secrets but reveals others.
But there is one secret we will never find out
Why is the sea blue?


I'm not very clear about how these lines were meant to be framed but I do get a gist of what they're supposed to mean.

Now, my impressions? I love the poem. I did point out these errors in punctuation, but honestly, they don't mess with the poem all that much especially because there was no specific flow or rhythm to it. Which I found strange and enthralling at the same time.

Keep writing.

Yours sincerely,
Myth




User avatar
40 Reviews


Points: 457
Reviews: 40

Donate
Fri Sep 18, 2020 9:35 pm
View Likes
LordMomo wrote a review...



Momo, here to review! Let's get started!

I really liked this poem! The curiosity, the description, I just love it! There's just a few things I wanted to point out, so let's get started!

The heavens floor may also be
Blue.

It should be "heaven's".

Immitating the greatness of it
The depth, the dangers

It should be "Imitating".

The sea. Mysterios, calm.
Always moving sometimes reckless,
Laughs like a child yet feels old,
Keeps some secrets but reveals others.
But there is one secret we will never find out
Why is the sea blue?

It should be "Mysterious", and you need more commas. This is a great way to end the poem!

Overall, this is a really, really good poem! I love it so much! I can't wait for your next poem, so keep writing, and have a happy RevMo!
Momo
Image




Buranko says...


Thanks for review bro



User avatar
106 Reviews


Points: 8327
Reviews: 106

Donate
Fri Sep 18, 2020 8:54 pm
View Likes
Valkyria wrote a review...



Hello Buranko,

I came across this poem in the Green Room, and I've decided to review it.

This is an intriguing question to answer in a poem. I've heard -myself included- people ask "Why is the sky blue?" But this could be answered in so many different ways as you wrote in the poem.

I love how the similies start each stanza and then go deeper into them.

Maybe the sea is a mirror of the sky.


Ooh, I love this line!

Immitating the greatness of it


Imitating is spelled with one "m."

Immitating the greatness of it
The depth, the dangers
But also the freedom
It offers.


That's a great connection, but I think it would look cleaner if you deleted "it."

Immitating the greatness of
The depth, the dangers
But also the freedom
It offers.


The sea. Mysterios, calm.


You misspelled "mysterious."

Overall, the descriptions are great; I love the stylistic choices you made. I found this great article below all about editing your poem and cleaning it up.

But, this is a super wonderful poem. Great job!

Editing Your Baby




Buranko says...


Thanks for da' review




It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
— Mark Twain