Young Writers Society

Hi Buranko!

I have a hard time reviewing poems (mainly because they are usually short) but this one was so beautiful, I had to review it.

There is such rich and almost elegant imagery, it captures perfectly what I think about the sea. I've never been able to describe how I feel about the sea before, so good job! One thing though, the line were you said,

"blue like a child's eye"

Isn't really correct, since there are other colors of eyes. But I get the point you were trying to get across. Also, @LittleLee said

"Water absorbs colours from the red part of the light spectrum, leaving only blue for our eyes to see."

although it is true, it doesn't feel like the question is childish. Mainly because a lot of people don't know why the sea is blue.

Anyway, this is probably the best poem I have ever read, thanks for writing this!

Spunkyspacekitty out

Hello, Buranko!

I saw this while scrolling through the poetry section, and the title caught my eye. The poem itself didn't disappoint; it's a well-written piece with rich imagery and fairly good diction. But note that the title requires a question mark at the end. You've phrased it as a question, so it must behave as one. Otherwise, change it to "Why the sea is blue."

Several others have beaten me to pointing out the technical mistakes in the poem, so I'll take a different turn. I'll be giving my thoughts in general.

Please note that I do not mean to offend you; I'm just trying to give you some honest feedback.


So, to the point.

The topic is off. If the poem has been narrated by a child (there are only hints tat this is so, but you need to strongly imply such a thing to make it work) then the poem makes sense, but again the diction is too strong for a child. If it hasn't been told from a child's perspective, one has to assume the narrator is philosophizing rather... strongly.

Why is the sea blue? Water absorbs colours from the red part of the light spectrum, leaving only blue for our eyes to see. I don't know, I feel like even if this is written as a philosophical poem it's more than a little childish. And I'd also like to point out that a good deal of the poem doesn't even answer this question; you describe the blueness of the sea, but you don't theorize on why it's blue at all, except in the very beginning when you say it's a reflection of the sky.

Blue like a child’s eye

And loves showing off
Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes.

But there is one secret we will never find out
Why is the sea blue?

Hello Buranko! I am here to drop a review, it's so beautiful I cannot help myself, it's been a while since I've been this moved by a poem Anyway, let's jump into the review, I hope you will find it helpful

First of all, I love your title, which sounds like something a child would ask his mother out of curiosity -- the kind of childlike innocent curiosity you see in youth that is somehow lost through growing up. The speaker's self-reflection as 'a mere human being' is interesting, it acknowledges a being superior to and is above humans, perhaps a subtle implication of a Creator that induces a sense of divinity in the poem. This is reinforces when you describe the sky as 'heaven's floor', which is a very beautiful and nice allusion.

"Blue like a child’s eye,
That blooms in darker tones
As a means of showing innocence
Maybe the sea is innocent.
Virgin, serene
Just like a child."

Your third stanza echoes the childlike innocence implied by the title, and I love how you takes a further step forward to declare that the sea is innocent, which really captures the inexpressible feeling generated in me whenever I went sea-gazing, like I am revisiting my lost piece of innocence.

"Or blue like a peacock
That boasts with its
Royal clothing.
Maybe the sea is prideful
And loves showing off
Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes."

The simile here is an interesting one, it's very unique to compare the blue of the sea as peacock, and then as a piece of royal clothing that suggests the pridefulness of the sea. Not only did you capture the different hues of the sea accurately and beautifully, but you also introduce another dimension to the sea's nature aside from its innocence -- its storms and hurricanes. "Maybe the sea is prideful" is such a wonderful parallel to your third stanza's declaration of the sea's innocence.

At last, you sum up the previous two qualities of the sea in a simple yet exceedingly wonderful sentence -- " always moving sometimes reckless, laughs like a child yet feels old". The secretiveness of the sea pointed out here at the last stanza is a smart move, it sums up your poem nicely while offering a sweet, enthralling touch for the readers at the end, with the question once again asked.

I love this poem so much, it's so beautifully-written and I have no other words to express how much your poem affects and moves me -- in a good way of course. The imageries weaved between the lines offer layers and a deeper sense of complexity in understanding and encapsulating what the sea is truly like, and it is amazing you can capture all of these in a wonderfully complicated simplicity. There's not much mistakes I can find, I believe the previous reviews have tackled to that quite well so I would not say more on that. Over all, it's a very brilliant and stunning piece, please continue to write more!! I am looking forward to reading more of your works in the future

Summer

Hi there Buranko! I'm here for a quick #RevMo review on this lovely poem!

This poem is brimming with sweet imagery and I absolutely love it. I especially enjoyed the lines

Maybe the sea is prideful
And loves showing off
Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes.

I, a mere human being

Spoiler! :

Hey Buranko! It's Myth here with a review. I hope this helps you.

I'm mostly going to be critiquing the most evident thing in your poem, which is the style - the line capitalization (capitalizing the first word of every line). Now I get that this is a choice of style but there are many instances where this threw the poem off beat. I'm going to list some of these instances and tell you what they lack and what could be done to improve these parts.

I, a mere human being
Can only assume.

Blue like the sky
The heaven's floor may also be
Blue.

Imitating the greatness of it
The depth, the dangers
But also the freedom
It offers.

Blue like a child’s eye,

As a means of showing innocence
Maybe the sea is innocent.

This is what I mean

As a means of showing innocence.
Maybe the sea is innocent;
Virgin, serene
Just like a child

Her expensive blue colors.
In storms and hurricanes.

The sea. Mysterious, calm.

Always moving sometimes reckless,
Laughs like a child yet feels old,
Keeps some secrets but reveals others.
But there is one secret we will never find out
Why is the sea blue?

Momo, here to review! Let's get started!

I really liked this poem! The curiosity, the description, I just love it! There's just a few things I wanted to point out, so let's get started!

The heavens floor may also be
Blue.

Immitating the greatness of it
The depth, the dangers

The sea. Mysterios, calm.
Always moving sometimes reckless,
Laughs like a child yet feels old,
Keeps some secrets but reveals others.
But there is one secret we will never find out
Why is the sea blue?

Hello Buranko,

I came across this poem in the Green Room, and I've decided to review it.

This is an intriguing question to answer in a poem. I've heard -myself included- people ask "Why is the sky blue?" But this could be answered in so many different ways as you wrote in the poem.

I love how the similies start each stanza and then go deeper into them.

Maybe the sea is a mirror of the sky.

Immitating the greatness of it

Immitating the greatness of it
The depth, the dangers
But also the freedom
It offers.

Immitating the greatness of
The depth, the dangers
But also the freedom
It offers.

The sea. Mysterios, calm.