The wind wailed in pain
Trapped in her rags, an old woman,
Shivering holds in her skinny hands
A dirty ball of grey yarn.
Her feet dragging on the ground
Crumble the soft path
Leaving behind kings and beggars
Hanging from the grey thread.
She sees a person.
Her mouth twitches and raises
Slowly into a grin, revealing
Crooked teeth and a rotting tongue.
~This poem is heavily inspired by a quote of Marc Aurelius that basically says "Death smiles to a man, rhe man has no choice but smile back".~
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140,852 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hello! Wanna drop by real quick and give a review!
So this is a cool poem. I think I was hit really hard by that last line. From the title, I was imagining something romantic, nice, beautiful, and then you hit me with... this. It defied my expectations, and I love that you did that! And that last line wasn’t the only bit of imagery that I was pleasantly surprised with. These lines too:
“The wind wailed in pain
Trapped in her rags, an old woman
Shivering holds in her skinny hands
A dirty ball of grey yarn.”
The atmosphere you build here is awesome. It’s an atmosphere of rot and decay, hopelessness and solemnity. It is the atmosphere that the end is near, that life is finite. Fitting, given the subject of this poem is Death herself. (That’s cool where you got the inspiration, by the way.)
Overall, awesome job. I don’t really have critiques... I love that you defied my expectations in such a profound, interesting way. Death comes for us all, kings and beggars alike—and she smiles as she takes us.
Hi Buranko,
MoonIris here with a review.
I really loved your poem. As silented1 said, the personification of the wind is really well written and interesting. Furthermore, I think you chose an engaging topic because a smile is something so common but can be interpreted in so many different ways. I also appreciate that you mentioned what your poem was inspired by. It's always fun to see what inspires other people. The image that you are giving us is also very vivid.
I really enjoyed it and I can't really find anything negative to say about it.
I hope I helped,
MI
I like how you personified the wind as a person. This is a wonderful image. Maybe you could write a story about meld them into each other. It would be interesting. You wrote this well.