The death of September

by Buranko

Published September 25, 2020

12+

In Journey through time and thoughts

Dark clouds shiver
On the torn sky.
A bird’s cry echoes
From far away.

Skinny figures bow repeatedly,
Naked trees with bloody leaves.
The old pebbled road,
Cuts through the pristine hills.

The sun, weak and pale
Lies in the sky, crying.
Powerless, lifeless,
Gazing on his lost kingdom

September is dead
October is taking the role
Through cunning methods
And despicable acts.

Comments & reviews · 2
spunkyspacekitty wrote a review Review · Sep 26, 2020

Hi Buranko!

Glows:
This poem seems to have a scary-angry sort of vibe going on. It seems to fit the title. But what really captured me with this poem was the line,

"Naked trees with bloody leaves"

Wow! That describes the effect fall has on trees so perfectly.

Grows:
I don't really have any critiques.

Spunkyspacekitty

Thank you for reviewing

User avatar
Goldenwizard
Review
Goldenwizard wrote a review Review · Sep 25, 2020

Hi / Namaste
My reviews are mostly almost short, but the words I would opt to review you work would be beautiful.
I really liked the way and the texture of the nature that you created.
While reading I could feel the presence of that beautiful nature with a less bright cloudy sky, with hyper winds rolling them to wave and the hilly region that I always admires to be on.
The way you figured the words suit the best over what you wanted to convey.
I liked it.
Thankyou / Dhanyavad

Lol I wanted to create a hostile environment



“Can a magician kill a man by magic?” Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. “I suppose a magician might,” he admitted, “but a gentleman never could.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell