Today I peeked
Inside a coca-cola bottle.
The black infinity
Swallowed me fiercely.
Waves of CO2 rushed
And blurred my sight.
Eternities passed and
A new sensation tickled me.
The glass cold came
And restored the peace.
A new world unfolded,
Crimson nuances
Danced in the emerald light of
The cola bottle.
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140,071 Literary Works • 672,990 Reviews
hello... I'm just here. I think ill review your poem with a positive Review!
The way you use your words shows that there's true feeling behind what your writing and not some fake mumbo-jumbo thrown together. In your third line to your sixth you really capture a feeling behind looking into this can. Honestly i dont know how people do poems that show so much emotion over all. The way you speak about it is a though nothing else in the world was there. It to me felt like it was just you and the can. WOW I must admit.
Awww thanks
hello... I'm just here. I think ill review your poem with a positive Review!
The way you use your words shows that there's true feeling behind what your writing and not some fake mumbo-jumbo thrown together. In your third line to your sixth you really capture a feeling behind looking into this can. Honestly i dont know how people do poems that show so much emotion over all. The way you speak about it is a though nothing else in the world was there. It to me felt like it was just you and the can. WOW I must admit.
Hiiiiii!!! I’m MorganStarz, and I’m here to review your poem. Overall, I think it was great. The way your able to capture such detail is pretty impressive, and your word play is on point. But one thing that I would point out is the picture your trying to paint. Or in other words... what you’re trying to show to the reader through your words here. For me, I am able to understand Since I, myself is also a poet, but one thing that I would say is that not a lot of people would be able to understand what you’re trying to put out. I know this may seem frustrating, but it’s not just how people can understand, but how they can connect to it. So in order for it to connect to the reader, don’t just describe the senses, or what you’re seeing, imagining, touching, etc. but also what you are FEELING. In this poem, describe the world you are seeing and how it is affecting you emotionally, or just put more emotions. You know? I mean, I hope this makes sense.
There isn’t much more I can review....Because like I said, overall I think it was great!
I think I know what you mean, but my goal is not to make my poems understandable by all people. My model in poetry has really vague descriptions and it is clear that he intends only for some people to understand his poems. I strongly believe that who is able to understand my poems is just enough, i would rather have a few people that can feel what I am trying to convey than a lot of people. I think that would make my poems too basic.
I Completely understand. It was just a suggestion in future works. Your style is quite imposing, and if it works the best for you, stick with it.