E - Everyone

Eyes Are Mirrors

They say eyes are windows,

windows to the soul.

But I say eyes are mirrors,

merely playing their role.

---

Reflecting what you want to see,

because I know it’s true.

When I looked into your eyes,

I saw myself, not you.

---

You were what I wanted you to be,

an angel in disguise.

But in truth you were a teacher,

making me more wise.

---

A mask we wore, a game we played,

neither of us will be the same.

I cast an image over you,

my heart is the one to blame. 

Comments & reviews · 9
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ceealexx01 Comment

this is amazing.short yet catchy.i would love to read more of your work

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sCrAwL Review
sCrAwL wrote a review · Sat Aug 22, 2015 8:55 pm

This poem is sweet, crisp, and simple. For the rather solemn message it carries, the piece can be read out in a light, bouncy tune. Parts of your writing actually reminded me of the short story "Glass" by Francesca Lia Block if you want to check it out online. Personally I understand the ending line and applaude you for it; my only suggestion would be to reword or restructure the line "making me more wise." I get what you are trying to convey in the line, but I feel like it could be tailored to fit the rhythm of the poem a bit better. Beautiful work all in all though.

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erilea
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This is really really good! I don't have any critiques or anything, so good job! :)

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deleted23 Comment

Nice poem billie

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Ikrantsyip
Review

wonderful poem.
it was very well written
I enjoyed reading it and experiencing it.

many people can relate to this poem through personal experience which they always have become more wise and knowing toward.

induces sympathy and empathy. I simply want to give you a hug.

I was confused with the last two lines though unfortunately.
I had t read over it several times before I could actually comprehend it.
"my hear is the one to blame" should be changed to either include 'but', or 'and'

other than that
kudos!

well done and please keep writing. I'd love to read more of your works.

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ThatBeeGirl
Review

To begin, I think this is beautifully executed and extremely well written.

It is simple in format and very short in length, but the power it has in these four stanzas is something I think every poet works towards when they want to write emotional poetry. You are clearly getting the message across and as a reader, I can't help but to feel the words as if they were my own thoughts - the depth you've put into each one is fantastic.

As someone may have already mentioned, I also feel like the last line of the last stanza may need an extra syllable as it seems a bit short when read - maybe include the word "only" between "the" and "one". However, if you were saying it aloud, maybe as a short spoken word poem, I could definitely see you emphasizing the word "heart" and holding it for two syllables.

Ultimately, it is up to you as to whether you want (or even need) to change anything. It is beautiful and the painful truth of this piece comes across very clear, so I wouldn't change it one bit!

I look forward to reading more of your works! Thank you for writing this! :D

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Snazzy
Review
Snazzy wrote a review · Fri Aug 21, 2015 1:13 am

Hello! :D
This is a VERY well written poem, and I only have one little nitpick! :D :) :D

"A mask we wore, a game we played,
neither of us will be the same.
I cast an image over you,
my heart is the one to blame."

I feel like the last line breaks up the rhythm a little bit. Maybe if you made it a little bit longer...you could add "and" to the beginning or something like that. ;)

Other than that, this is great! :D I love the title of it, and the title is what your reader sees first. :D So I love a great title. ;) Anyway, good job, and keep up the great work!
~Snazzy, Pencil, Penicillin, etc. ;)
Stay awesome! :D

Once again, thank you for your kind comment. This is my first post in months so I am so happy to get so much encouragement! You like smiley faces, don't you? Anyway,to address your nitpick, I think when I was writing this poem, I wanted to put an emphasis on the word "heart" for obvious reasons, but I can see why you would think that! x

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dark
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I enjoyed this little thing you've got here. The accuracy in what you've stated is spot on. I lot of people do indeed think that someone's soul lies just beyond their eyes… But maybe that's just what some want to believe. They want to believe they are something they are not. And finally they realize the truth after taking a second, third, or fourth look……

Excuse me if this isn't making any sense to you. I hope to see more in the future!

~The dark one.

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dark
Review
dark wrote a review · Thu Aug 20, 2015 11:31 pm

I enjoyed this little thing you've got here. The accuracy in what you've stated is spot on. I lot of people do indeed think that someone's soul lies just beyond their eyes… But maybe that's just what some want to believe. They want to believe they are something they are not. And finally they realize the truth after taking a second, third, or fourth look……

Excuse me if this isn't making any sense to you. I hope to see more in the future!

~The dark one.

Thank you! And yeah, it does make sense to me, I'm used to rambling myself and hoping people can make some sense of it!



Resistance is futile.
— The Borg