Suicide,
It’s such a -
Heavy word.
Light and free bouncing along the confines of my brain, the walls of reason and logic
That prevent its escape with carefully measured out doses of happiness-
Just enough to sedate the thought,
Never enough to satisfy.
No, the word, it gains its weight the moment it leaves your mouth
And picks up every molecule along the way to the disappointed slant of their eyes,
As your cry for help is buried under their pitying glances and the clockwork
Of their brains churning as they judge you
In your freedom;
Of the tick-tick-ticking of the countdown until they give up on you,
OH you ATTENTION WHORE, begging for it,
Asking for it,
Your clothes are torn and your breasts heaving, you slut,
And your wrists bleed red in the harsh whiteness of fluorescent lights in your own personal version of hell and the voices, the voices swirl and multiply and expand until they are all that constitutes the tunnel vision that you watch the room shift in and out of focus.
Suicide.
The very thought of being gone, of no longer suffering personhood,
It is a freeing thought.
You consider it in the quiet of the night as you run your hands delicately over the-
Wooden bookshelf that contains your lifelong friends,
The stories of their misery and their eventual redemption
Resembling nothing in the life that you live.
You beg,
Dear God in heaven, if you have any mercy on this mess you created,
Take my life. Take it tonight,
Take it in my sleep,
Take it.
Take me.
But you wake up the next morning, eyes bleary with tears and back full of pain from midnight contortions as the nightmares mocked your pain, amplifying it until it blasts into every ounce of your person, into the very core of your being
And you
Stand.
To face another day.
Suicide.
My old friend.
Have you come to play with me again?
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
Remington38 here, how do you do?
It's a pleasure to meet you
I wish I could give this five more stars, because this effected me personally, but also it was so beautifully written which as writers I feel like we can enjoy literature and poems and stories like this a little more than the average reader, because we know what goes into it. I know this poem will stay with me for a while after reading it. It is true with every word and I just found it heart wrenching. You are a very talented poet, never doubt that.
Greetings there, Remington38, I am doing well. Thank you for your kind review! People like you keep me writing! I hope you have a fabulous day and thank you for blessing mine.
It makes you think. There's the emotional link to the poem and we can all tell that it comes straight from the purest parts of your heart. Poetry like this is wonderful because it's so slack that you can visualise each and every line and your facial expression and emotion that comes with it.
I'm guilty; it made me tear up a bit too! Not because I'm depressed, but because I understand, having associated with people who have been swimming in pools of negative emotions almost every day of their lives, and they don't even remember what peace feels like or how to even keep themselves calm, so I've had to calm them instead.
I like how this is almost a requiem for the suicidal, for the unfavourable, for the tiptoeing wallflowers, as we've all lost so much sanity to the destruction of ourselves.
Anyway I digress!
Back to the poem; I won't critique it too much because for one there is very little wrong with it, it's okay to take up unorthodox aesthetics once in a while.
Honestly, though, if you ever need to talk or rant or just get anything off your chest, PM me x (I believe it's good to get things off your chest to strangers whom cannot and do not judge you and chances are will never meet you in real life).
Take care - Tiana
Thank you so much for your kind words and many thanks for your kind offer. I'll keep that in mind, sometime we'll PM! I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you for blessing mine.
Dark poems, especially those that are about mental illness, resonate with me. I have suffered and I feel that this is a deeply personal poem that readers can relate to. Its an acheivement when any reader can make a connection and I'd like to thank you for doing that. I find that this piece holds many emotions that are just hard to achieve. I felt fear when reading this, I felt sorrow and I could feel the narrator's pain. I hope that if this is your personal pain, someone is helping you through this. You have a talent here, and I feel like your writing is helping everyone who suffers, get a little more recognition. Good job, keep fighting.
Hey there! Thank you so much for your review. It means a lot to me to see that other people can resonate with my work. I'm going through a lot of stuff, but I have a really wonderful boyfriend helping me through it all, so thank you for your concern. I hope that you have a fantastic day/night and I thank you again, so much, for your kind words.
This is... darkly beautiful. I have Severe PTSD and major depression. This reflected me when I was young. I love this. This is the truth that only a few will understand. Keep writing.
Thank you so much. Writing has definitely always been my outlet and its positive feedback like this that keeps me going. I would apologize for your suffering, but I don't believe it's a fault. It's just as much a part of you as everything else and it is also beautiful. I'm glad to hear that other people can understand and I hope that it helps, in some way. Thank you for your comment!