I’ve made friends within the shadow,
they come and go as they please.
My company for late, dark nights,
the cooling evening breeze.
---
Their ethereal form creeps around my bed,
yet I am not afraid.
Because who can fear the things one makes,
from sanity one has strayed.
---
I’ve made friends within the shadow,
they listen, but do not ask.
They understand my faults and failures,
they do not mind my mask.
---
They flit from corner to corner,
while they watch the shadows dance.
For how can I fear the night,
while I watch the shadows prance?
---
I’ve made friends within the shadow,
they may just exist in my mind.
But some of you will never know,
for some of you are blind.
---
Ignoring those who have strayed too far,
past the grip of the sane.
Against the bounds of reality,
my shadow friends with strain.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello again! Here for another review!
This poem is a strong one, with meaning and lovely writing style also. This could relate to people as well since most like to hide in the shadows and ignore the world themselves or the people around them. Also i enjoy the rhyming scheme you used in here, gives a flow of meaning and uses of words.
When I was reading this poem, I didn't notice anything that needed to be changed or corrected; it takes immense skill to write a poem as such as this one. The meaning, the feeling, and the rhyme scheme all make a it a lovely poem that people can read. This is one that could be a favorite one of mine since most people can relate to it, as not having friends or something so they go back to the shadows as their only hope.
Sorry for the ramble
I tend to do that with good worksWell done with this lovely poem! I hope to review more work of yours!
Tuesday
Just the idea of "making friends with the shadows" is an incredible thought to me as someone who has battled mental illness for over a decade now... more than half of my life. Very dark, yet inspirational all in the same breath. It was very intriguing to me, and I kept wanting to read more. I like how you talked about the bounds of reality, as well. I think that is definitely something important to point out, and you did just that.
Hey! ChocolateCello here!
This poem was written beautifully. The flow, the vocabulary and the 'story' all tied together perfectly. It was the ideal length too, not dragging on. I really liked the repetition, starting every other verse (Is verse the correct term? I'm a little rusty on poem vocab) with 'I've made friends within the shadows'. It might be nice though if the last verse started with this line too or even ended with it. This might require adding an entirely new verse, depending on how you approach this, but I think since this line takes such a big part in this work it would be good to tie it into the end somehow. I really adore this poem though and the skill it took to write it.
Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello
Marvelous writing style~ Thanks for sharing.
I liked it, mate. It's funny that, how i can relate to it so much. Good work.