Young Writers Society

I must say, you are extremely talented, my friend. You are clearly a deep thinker and can express that through the very insightful words you write.

This was an incredible writing piece and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! It was well written and the fact that you repeated a couple of previous lines at the end only added to the theme of the poem and the vital message you were trying to send to your potential readers.

Well done with the composition of this poem, it was a wonderful read!


MissLyricz x

Hi there *waves* it's muffy (or cat or catmuff)

First off, Love the idea in general. And for someone your age to be able to write something like this? Outstanding.

Of course I see quite a few mistakes (which Ashkitten83 already fixed) but I love how you talk about how they feel. People always see the germans during that time as heartless and souless monsters but in fact, most of the german population didn;t even know about the concentration camps til the end of the war.

And of course let's not forget about that one general who saved a pregnant woman because he knew that one day everyone would judge them for following orders.

Anyways I'm probably boring you with the history talk. You have quite the talent for poetry and I respect that you use it properly. The only advice that I can give to you is to keep on practicing, keep on writing and of course, always ALWAYS proofread over and over again.

Now that that's done, let us thus eat cookies

:) :) :) :) :) :)

I don't have a bunch of time to make this grammatical review but you requested it so here it is...

Heart should be hearts.

I'd put a period after burned.
I'd change pretend to pretending because you use ing on falling, breaking, and dying.
I'd put quotation marks on "its for the good of the people" because it's something they are telling themselves.
A period after we know it all too well.
And again I'd change pretend to pretending. I didn't want to be so harsh on the grammatical errors because this is such an amazing piece that even if it were missing punctuation completely, it would speak to me, which a poem can rarely do that just so you know.

Ok so let me just tell you that you have the most talent I've ever seen in a 14 year old. I'm amazed at how flawlessly it flowed and the words pierced right into my heart. I wrote a piece like this once a long time ago, it was more of a lament really but I LOVE that you saw an event that most people write about a lot even to this day, from a different perspective. Keep thinking like this and you will go far!!! To have written a poem about the holocaust in the nazi guards perspective, just blows me away. let me tell you, the fact that you made me tear up and feel sorry for a nazi guard says something. Enter this into a school contest. Writing is your gift. The fact that you executed the poem with such verbal ease yet pulled out every emotional response possible, it really radiates brilliance!!! I can't believe, this amount of pure talent came from a 14 yr old. I'm just speechless. Wow!!

First of all, woah.
Second of all, WOAH.
This is simply beautiful, it really feels like the Nazis speaking. Not just one, but as a collective. It fits with many scenarios, but is definetely made for World War Two. It was enjoyable, but not to difficult, to piece apart the meaning of each line. And it makes you think. I love these pieces that make you think about the war(s). It shocks you into the horror that humanity thrust upon the world.
Overall, lovely to read, well written. Not any nitpicks, except it did seem a little long. Maybe remove some of the necessary lines, but that may just be me...
Thank you!!!!
~~Authorian

This is very beautiful and realistic, the best work of literature I've seen written about the Nazi's in World War Two by far. You brought out the point that not all of the Nazi's were supportive of killing people in concentration camps. Many of them were just frightened, doing what they thought they had to do to survive. It was their cowardice, not necessarily hatred, that killed millions of people. You did an excellent job describing this in your poem. My favorite line is the one you repeat several times.

"Too afraid to stand, too afraid to fall, So here we stand as cowards, straight and tall."

Much of the time, when people stand for an evil cause, they stand straight and tall. They're trying to convince themselves that what they're doing is the right thing. It's cowardly, and quite tragic. Very sad. I enjoyed your poem a lot and I can't wait to read more by you. Keep writing!

There was one thing that I saw you might want to edit in your poem.

"Cowards, we know, cowards we are Responsible for every death and every scar."

After the word 'are' you should put a comma. Whenever I read it I found myself naturally pausing at that place, and when you look at the lines side by side, it just looks like there should be one there. Other than that, I couldn't find a thing wrong with your poem. Good job!