This is amazing. As soon as I started reading I could just feel everything. The way this was written is absolutely amazing. It's full of images, morals and metaphors. It hits very deep in the life aspect. I would suggest if you eve do a writing contest or something to use this poem cause it is really really good. Keep on writing!
Wow, Deep Ideas for sure, I'm interested, hooked, remembering my darkest dreams, what do they say about me?Definitely thought provoking! I liked it
Hi, Anamel! I'm Clairia, here to review.This was a great read. The ending was so satisfying--I felt like I'd witnessed a cosmic journey. I got such a burst of color from your words, which is something I haven't experienced in a long time. A lovely breath of fresh air for me. Very well done!Critique-wise, there isn't a whole lot that I can say in terms of technical errors. I'd just like to play with a few of your lines and see if there isn't any way to improve their flow. As a whole, you didn't have much of an issue with keeping the line length consistent (that's debatably untrue for the third stanza, but the difference isn't anything major and didn't bother me in the least), but I noticed that you stuck to 9-line stanzas up until the very last one, which is only five lines long. I have no trouble believing that you simply wanted to cut it off there (and you had nothing else to say), but I can't make assumptions; so I thought it was best to mention it just so you were aware that your scheme falls a bit short at the very end.I also just wanted to quickly note that some of your lines are a bit fuzzy and hard to take in smoothly. Here's one example:
My shield had become the lifeless Earth body I once possessed,
Oh god !I can read this poem many times and read it again and over again without being bored of it. Where you've been hiding all this time ? I really liked every word in it. I liked how I felt and liked the imaginary pictures I seen while my reading. I liked more the title, it's what attracted me the most. I have some memories with this color, which I can say it's more than a color.We dreamed with you Anamel, and we thank you for that.Take care <3
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