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the keyhole victim

by Anamel


Are you listening to the propaganda dear?
the one that screams of yesteryear and beers--
the one that says your possibilities are finite,
that your mind was designed to be a nihilistic struggle,
that power and joy is reserved for those with divine right,
the one that urges you to be plain and humble, 
to allow your own life to crumble.

Are you obeying your obsessive mind dear?
"you can't slough off that cloak, lighten that flare,
"and your feathers crumple by the matchbox's tongue."
consume and criticize, you cannot act in that manner
a fool is what you are, and a fool is the one they laugh at
unlucky is the poor and sad man, doomed to feel the dagger
only are the rich and confident blessed to get drunk in glamor.

The most I can do is peer through this tiny keyhole,
The one your ego rebutes and depresses your soul
So you sit half gone in that plush chair, 
Suspended between two separate worlds,
Whining for a savior to rescue this shell of a man,
A dangling cigarette in one hand and the other clutching pearls,
Are you a victim of yourself, that hope which no longer stirs?


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111 Reviews


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Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:40 pm
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tgham99 wrote a review...



This was an interesting poem to read from beginning to end. I get the sense that this piece was meant to emphasize the feelings of confusion and perhaps even frustration -- the first stanza in particular contains a couple of lines that really convey these ideas:

"..your mind was designed to be a nihilistic struggle"
"..power and joy is reserved for those with divine right"

I get a very dystopian vibe from this poem, which is likely part of the tone that you were trying to set. There's almost a sense of hopelessness that emanates off of this poem, as emphasized by the last line containing the word "victim".

As a whole, I like this poem, and I personally love that your lines are longer rather than short and concise.

I didn't find any issues with grammar or spelling, which made it even more of an enjoyable and smooth read. I don't have many suggestions aside from perhaps adding one more stanza to really hit home the feelings of hopelessness or desolation that I'm getting from the narrator. Aside from that, it's a great read, an dI look forward to see more of your poetry! :)




Anamel says...


Thank you :)



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Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:26 pm
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MeherazulAzim16 wrote a review...



Hi Anamel!

I enjoyed reading this. I've read your poems before. They tend to be interesting and frankly, deep.

I'll try to interpret or share my thoughts on some or all of the verses.

Are you listening to the propaganda dear?
the one that screams of yesteryear and beers--


It's interesting how the poem begins. I think these verses are talking about advices that are easily/commonly given, or a view (of the world) that never dies. Ideas that, upon inspection, sound like something a drunk man would make up.

the one that says your possibilities are finite,
that your mind was designed to be a nihilistic struggle,
that power and joy is reserved for those with divine right,
the one that urges you to be plain and humble,
to allow your own life to crumble.


Perhaps an indication toward a system governed by narrow-minded people that do not want you to question them, that want you to get on with your troubles, while they enjoy the things that they think only they are entitled to.

Are you obeying your obsessive mind dear?

I love this part.

unlucky is the poor and sad man, doomed to feel the dagger
only are the rich and confident are blessed to get drunk in glamor.


I wonder if you meant to say that the rich are doomed to feel the dagger or if you used an extra "are" there. It might be the latter since the verse says "the rich and confident." But I think these verses come full circle with the first ones. It's the rich and confident (the ones who drink and preach) who urge the poor and sad man to be plain and humble.

The most I can do is peer through this tiny keyhole,
The one your ego rebutes and depresses your soul
So you sit half gone in that plush chair,
Suspended between two separate worlds


Got me thinking. But why would a keyhole depress you? Maybe you're sitting by the doorway that connects two worlds/two aspects of yourself -- let's say a lighter one and a darker one. You'd rather dwell on the good that you've done -- that plush chair of self-assurance. That's where you're sitting comfortably now. It'll hurt your ego to be told that good isn't all that you are. This other aspect of you, you can see it through the keyhole. and it depresses you.

Whining for a savior to rescue this shell of a man

Wanting to save (or rather this aspect of) thyself?

A dangling cigarette in one hand and the other clutching pearls
Are you a victim of yourself, that hope which no longer stirs?


An illustration of where the POV character stands or rather where he is stuck? Unable to choose between these two sides to him (represented by the cigarette and the pearls). He can't fool himself to sit in that plush chair forever but he isn't ready to face the dark side either. He's the hostage; he's the hostage-taker; held in between worlds.

I just wonder for a second if this could be a tale of a child. Being told what to do. Being told to be polite. Looking through a literal keyhole at the drunk/troubled father that the child wants to help. But that's probably far-fetched.

I think I gave the poem a blank stare for the longest time. This is too deep for me to interpret. In the end, I might've just overanalyzed the heck out of it while completely missing the point. But I like thought-inducing works.

Well, that's the review.

Excelsior!

~MAS




Anamel says...


I really like your interpretation, originally I was making it to mean that this man has a negative, obsessive mindset and a critical inner voice. He's too scared to actually pursue anything in life in fear he'll get made fun of and listens to the propaganda of his mind which tells him things will go wrong because of what has happened in the past. The keyhole is for the key which will unlock the outside world again if he just sheds his fear, but he believes he cannot and it's impossible.

However I think it can be looked at in many different ways as I also thought it could be dystopian and he just sits in front of a blaring television all day.

Thank you for the review!




Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
— Niels Bohr