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my shower won't drain

by Anamel


Your mind is the immortal womb,
From it births words and worlds
Your soul is a potion of alchemy,
Waiting to be heard and brought into this world.
Ideas crack and sparkle on hot stoves,
Iron pans explode and gold froths and spills.
Your sagging heart mourns what once was
Doubt has become your royal adversary.
Why do you deny your unfiltered creativity?
The child’s excitement has become cold and clogged,
Weep now for what you have done to yourself
You have subjected yourself to a standard that crushes you
It is time for you to allow yourself to become what you once were.


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28 Reviews


Points: 930
Reviews: 28

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Thu Mar 19, 2020 3:09 pm
Leviari wrote a review...



You really write wonderfully.

" The child’s excitement has become cold and clogged,
Weep now for what you have done to yourself
You have subjected yourself to a standard that crushes you
It is time for you to allow yourself to become what you once were. "

this part is awesome and I think every artist can identify in these verses. Self doubt is really our worst enemy. You shouldn't doubt your creativity though, this piece is beautiful.

Also, hats off for your title: interesting, funny and captivating. To me a good title is equally as important as a well written poem, you nailed it.

Well done, keep writing! :)




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87 Reviews


Points: 3145
Reviews: 87

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Tue Mar 17, 2020 3:31 pm
Hkumar wrote a review...



Hey there!

It is such a wonderful piece of poetry. I enjoyed every line of this poem and was enthralled by your work. I could feel so many suppressed emotions that were being conveyed by each line. You have used some really strong words for describing things which added further beauty to the poem. Very effective imagery. Even the very first line where you related mind to an 'immortal womb' brought such intense feelings, a great start for the poem.

Doubt has become your royal adversary.

This line hit me hard cause every now and then I could feel myself plagued with self-doubt that really brings down my motivation and concentration. A true enemy for our creativity.

The child’s excitement has become cold and clogged,
Weep now for what you have done to yourself
You have subjected yourself to a standard that crushes you
It is time for you to allow yourself to become what you once were.

These four lines have such a strong message and provided a perfect ending for your poem. Just for the sake of proving our worth and trying to impress others, we end up crushing our own ambitions and work to fulfill the expectations of the society. Loosing our own identity.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed your work and loved your writing skills.
Keep writing. :)




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26 Reviews


Points: 26
Reviews: 26

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Tue Mar 17, 2020 2:57 am
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redvictory wrote a review...



This is lovely!!

One thing that really jumps out at me is the title! The few times I've tried poetry the titles always give me trouble. I don't know why this works so well, but something about the title just sets this really quiet and subtle mood that carries into the poem and makes it read just a little more emotionally. Love it!!

The grip you have on language is super impressive too! This poem has such beautiful imagery and undertones. I am so impressed at poems like this. The line "Weep now for what you have done to yourself" was my favorite! I feel like this was a little short, but that's probably just me as a reader! Poetry is all different lengths. I think that opinion is mainly just coming from me being used to reading longer poems and just wanting more of your gorgeous style!

One thing that would make your poems even more awesome is capitalization, punctuation, and stanzas! changing the flow of poems with what is capitalized, where there are commas and where there aren't, etc. can really add to how poetry reads! Your writing is beautiful; combining some of those more structural things with your incredible vocab would make you a real powerhouse! Plus, it's kind of fun to play around with that stuff!

No matter what, this was super enjoyable to read! Awesome work! :D




Anamel says...


Thank you so much! I'll add in some grammar, I totally forgot that part.



Anamel says...


also added two extra lines that seem to make it more whole




People ask if I ever experience writer's block and I just have to laugh... that's my default position.
— Aaron Sorkin