z

Young Writers Society



my foul infinity

by Anamel


the wheat is strong, yet thin

its simplicity is admirable to me

or maybe from all these times

that i’ve spoken to myself

i have made it to be more beautiful than it truly is.



and the skies are light blue, plain

each day i have seen the same

and i still smile when i wake from bed

my gums drip blood on the shattered mirror

what is the difference between comfort and joy?



i never sow the fruits or pick the flowers,

its still beauty is alright enough from afar

and i’m content with stirring the marigold tea

but i can’t look into it for long, my thoughts return

i loathe how that dirty city beckons me.



there’s a cord, fragile and faint

it connects me to that treacherous place

and i too have fallen from that sparkling tower

the fall was blunt, and wings only sprouted thereafter;

silence is a quiet savior, too easy to control.



these sheets are warm

and i haven’t opened the shutters,

not for a year, not until i cease to exist

belonging to neither doesn’t make me cry or smile

and it hurts the most to tell you i’m scared.

(unfortunately, for some reason it won't space together.)


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590 Reviews


Points: 1234
Reviews: 590

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Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:28 pm
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Mageheart wrote a review...



Hey there, @Anamel! I'm here to review your work.

The poem's description doesn't provide a lot of context for the subject of the poem, other than the conflict of comfort versus risk. That conflict was clearly portrayed throughout the poem by the juxtaposition you used. The second stanza does an exceptionally good job with shifting the tone midway through; it's when I realize there was a darker side to the story you were trying to tell.

I don't know if this is what you intended, but I was reminded of my own life when reading through this. I'm from a small rural/suburban town - I even live across the street from a farm field. I've always loved the beauty of the place I've grown up in and its surrounding areas, but hated doing any kind of yard work outside. That matches surprisingly well with these lines:

i never sow the fruits or pick the flowers,

its still beauty is alright enough from afar

and i’m content with stirring the marigold tea


Now, however, I'm going to a college which is right beside a city. I don't think I'll ever venture into it without someone asking me to, but I still think of how intriguing it is - and then think I should be more intrigued by the area I live in.

but i can’t look into it for long, my thoughts return

i loathe how that dirty city beckons me.


The poem could be symbolism, but I like to imagine it more literally. It seems like it's telling the story of someone who loves the comfort of a rural, natural area, but is intrigued by the risk of a more dangerous city landscape.

It's a really cool poem, and I hope it gets into the literary spotlight if it hasn't already!




Anamel says...


Thank you, I live in a small town as well and it's comfortable but awfully boring but with living in a city comes with unexpected danger so that's exactly what this poem originates from



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7 Reviews


Points: 265
Reviews: 7

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Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:50 am
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highflyer wrote a review...



Hi! Highflyer here.

I really enjoyed reading this. It has a comforting simplicity that makes it easy to read and understand. The emotion you portray in this piece is quite beautiful, and its genuinely a pleasure to read. Its strange ( not in a bad way ) because I simultaneously completely understand these words, and am a little bit confused. It's simple enough so the reader has a base level of understanding, but the reader is still left wondering what might have happened.

But in all, just beautiful work. Keep it up.

- Highflyer <<




Anamel says...


Thank you




When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind