Young Writers Society

Timely and skillfully-written poems such as this one are very rare. This one is a beautiful poem about humanity’s indifference toward the environment and how some of us are not heeding a call to action in order to fix things before they are irreparably broken!

The vocabulary flows smoothly and the organization of the poem progresses logically and coherently. The tone is mysterious, and the urgency of the situation is conveyed very forcefully via references to mythology. Personification of the Earth via claiming that it is seeking revenge upon its human assailants is used. The comparison of mankind to a child that needs to grow to responsible maturity is very appropriate. The urging it to cease crying like a bruised child and act like an adult expresses the deep concern felt by those of us who feel that time is running out.

Punctuation suggestion

But most of all[,]
....the siren’s song [.]
....does not quake[.]
But most of all[,]
....for an excuse[,]
.... face[-]to[-]face

To be faced with the soul....

To encounter the soul....

That prevents the repetition of the word “face ”which was recently used twice in the idiomatic expression of face-to-face.

Besides these minor points, the poem if excellent! Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

This is Gem climbing out of her jewelrybox for another review.

This is a powerful relative poem. I'm not going to critic it becauselike the many poems I've seen lately anything I may see wrong in this poem, ultimately boils down to the diference in artistic formatting and stylistic choice. This is a powerful peice you kind of relate covid to nature taking its course. Or more of nature taking back over. Either way you get your message across human kind being nasty and arrogant caused the earth to fight back. I see where you are coming from.
Keep up the good work.
Keep writing.

This is Gem climbing back into the jewelrybox for a nap. Until next time. <3

Hi Anamel. Happy Review Day!

I really, really like this. I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this and you've gone further than just tackling the pandemic itself - you've dug deeper to the social issues that are probably ripping apart the world more than the actual virus. I'm a huge fan of this depth and the way that you characterize the virus, the humans... everything really. Also, with regard to prosody, I think that you have also done an excellent job. I also noticed some rhyme here and there! There's a lot that I like here and it's a strong poem out of the gate.

The use of metaphor and allegory is intense. In a way, I'm getting epic (as in, the type of poem xD) vibes, sort of along the lines of those great Greek legends? The tone of the piece is certainly moralizing and authoritative and in a good way. You're tackling a lot of social issues that are not only obvious with the current pandemic crisis, but also just general critiques of humanity in general: selfishness, greed, panic, fear, paranoia - all of which lead to the demise of many. It's not too much either - this is written modestly and in moderation, too. The reader is not overwhelmed and definitely grasps the message of the piece.

I would have to say that the final stanza is the weakest. It starts out strong ("So call it what you want: the angel’s trumpets pouring out of heaven,/The rapture and the end of this world as we humans know it,/Earth’s revenge for the sickness and pollution we have bred") in that sort of lyricism that you maintained in the first two stanzas, but the end is just not as strong in the sense that a) it is confusing and b) it defeats the moralizing tone of the rest of the piece. I'll elaborate further:

a) Confusing. I get (maybe?) that the speaker is trying to convey that humanity needs to think as a collective instead of the individual. However, after that line ("But most of all it is another chance to become an equal"), I'm not really sure what is meant. The imagery is nice... but for what purpose? I am particularly stuck in understanding the last line. While vagueness is alright - by no means are you obligated to spell it out for your audience - I feel like this just doesn't make sense. Maybe it's me, I don't know. Regardless, I'm really curious about what is going here in the last stanza!

b) Defeats the moralizing tone. This is easy - don't tell us straight up what to do. I think you would be better off kind of hinting at what humanity should (or should not) do. I think it might also help to address what I talked about in a), as well. Be less directive and more suggestive.

Overall, this is a great piece and obviously hits close to home right now. It would be even stronger with a few small edits here and there. Do let me know if you revise it at some point because I would be more than happy to help clarify anything and/or offer another review on a future revision. Be proud of this! You're a good poet.

Thank you for a brilliant read.

Best,
Lav

I really found this interesting. The topic is very relevant to now. (COVID-19) It is a good poem. I found a couple errors here and there. it wasn't a lot though. Poems are hard to work around because of syllable rules. (that's why i don't like them) Yours was great.

You are a great writer and you should write more poems like this one. It was probably challenging to base it off of the corona-virus. It was very enjoyable.

Thank you!
~S.M.Locke~