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soldier of my heart

by Anamel

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31 Reviews

Points: 2299
Reviews: 31

Mon Sep 30, 2019 3:31 pm
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promptlyby12 wrote a review...

Hiya Anamel!
This is beautiful. I mean purely beautiful. I love the form, the rhythm and the idea. That reminds me, I should talk about my interpretation of the poem, and then I'll see whether there is something you can do to improve!
Okay, so the first thing Im getting out of this is a 'never give up' vibe. The first stanza starts off at a low point, but then you establish who you really are. I really like the use of the word 'demense', it adds a lot to tge meaning of the poem, and is juat a really powerful word that establishes that fact that 'this is your property, your problem' and you're gonna face it.
The second stanza builds on the first one using some really beautiful metaphors. Im guessing the first line represents either your problems that 'pull you close', or the sea of your own emotions, spiralling and 'pulling you in'. 'Neptune' if I'm guessing correctly os the God of the Ocean and says the same thing.
The last stanza struck me most. It concludes the poem in a really unique way. You know you're meant for great things, you don't want to give up yet you don't know what it is you should do.
One thing I would like to say is that the word 'demense' though beautiful, might throw some poeple off the rhythm(I'm not one of them), as it abruptly breaks the tone. Other than that, this is just perfect and I wouldn't suggest any changes.
Wondetful job! Thank you for sharing!
Have a great day/night.

Anamel says...

Thank you so much! Your interpretation of the meaning is on point :)

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561 Reviews

Points: 15010
Reviews: 561

Mon Sep 30, 2019 3:07 pm
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello! It's me FlamingPhoenix here again with yet another review for you on this lovely night, and like always to help get this work out the green room.

So I am very happy to say I could see nothing wrong with it!
In my opinion this poem is one of your best, though I do think i have said that in almost everyone of my reviews on your work, but I must say with each new poem your writing and your style is just becoming more you!
I like how this time all your stanzas have the same amount of lines, it really helped with the flow of the poem.
I'm just loving the wonderful story behind this poem, it's so sad, but really touching and meaning full, and the title to this poem just makes it all the more true, I mean Solder to my Heart, that's just a great choice of name!
I think I will keep this poem in mind, and come read it again sometime that's how good I think it is, so great job you should be very proud of yourself, you have come a very long way from your very first poem!
So that's all from me for now! I'm glad I got to read and review yet another one of your poems! Like always never stop writing and post again soon! Have a great day or night!

Your friend and faithful reader
Reviewing with a fiery passion!


Anamel says...

Thank you for the support!

You're welcome!

The brain is wider than the sky.
— Emily Dickenson