Thin.

This was great! I really thought your presence was strong in the poem. I could feel that what you write, you believe in. You words were really confident and made me want to read the whole thing in detail, instead of just skimming over it.

I really like how you ended it, using one last grand statement to prove your point even further.

"a careless mess called Earth."

It really made what you said earlier even stronger, and you ended in a BANG that made the poem stick out as unique.

Wow... you had alot of good description! I love the way you explained reality and how the real world is like. "I notice things,
things that don't add up.
Things that hide, things.
They hide in plain sight
under the mask of Angels
and heroes."

I thought you put that very well. I thought you had really good word choice and god flowing sentences. Keep writing

Very cool how your title for this poem can be applied to the environmental issues touched on. For some who hold the perspective that global warming is the biggest hoax of this century, the evidence supporting that hypothesis is 'thin'. But with politics aside, I like how your atmospheric metaphors all imply thinness. When you're up high in the atmosphere, the air is 'thin' and it's hard to breathe. That would make anybody cranky, even pessimistic. And then how 'things' hide in "plain sight", so their cover is 'thin'. And the people who have idealistic views of reality, those that "sit high", have a 'thin', unrealistic view, a bubble that has a 'thin' membrane. And their touch with reality is 'thin'.
And on and on it goes. Not sure I agree with all the philosophy in this poem (or at least my interpretation of certain parts), but great poem! Not going to fault the quality because I don't like what's being said.
Hope this helps!

Hey there. Review for you.

I like the ideas that you bring up in this poem. I especially like the idea of taking environmental problems such as the hole in the ozone layer or air pollution and mirroring them with the feelings of pessimism, depression, and poverty the narrator is experiencing. Fantastic job getting your point across. I like the metaphors that you used, especially the example of the "things" being hidden by the "masks of angels and heroes". I interpreted this as a commentary on how people nowadays hide from the true ugliness of environmental stresses and crises behind semblances of good will and/or hypocrisy. We say that global warming and air pollution are bad for the earth, but we don't do anything but talk about fixing it, rather than taking action. Then, when we do take action, we rest on our laurels and don't continue to take further action. Maybe that was too deep of an interpretation, but that is what came at me when I read this poem. Satirical, and beautiful. Good job.

BUT, there are a few issues that I have to address since this is a review. ;] It seems that the biggest problem with this poem is the way it's structured. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but the way that some of the lines are capitalized and others aren't was a little bit strange. At first, I thought you were just capitalizing the lines you wanted to put more emphasis on, but even so, this threw me off a little. Also, changing lines mid-sentence can give an interesting effect to a poem like this and can add a very interesting dimension, but here all it did was obstruct the flow a little bit. For instance, whenever you broke a sentence into two lines, and then followed with a single sentence on a single line, it threw me a bit. Also, just a minor spelling error on the second to last line: "carelessness mess" should be "careless mess".

Other than those things, very nice job! Good work.

Hello, this is your friendly neighborhood HomeschooledTeen, here for a review!

Grammatically speaking, you are quite perfect. The same can be said for your punctuation and spelling, for I can find no errors.

I would however, add a few commas here and there to help improve flow, but I leave that up to you. You are the author after all, and if you do not wish to add commas, then simply don't.

There is just one thing that I have a slight problem with.

The atmosphere is getting thin
as I crash down to reality
going faster,
while the friction
hardens to the earth
offset by the conviction
of pollution.
To the ozone equilibrium,
unbalanced.

I see flaws,
weakness in design
and notice
that all my life persists
with pulses of poverty
and intervals of sadness.

They are you and me,
everyone.
And if you sit high,
it is only because
you sit above reality.