Young Writers Society

Knight Malachi here to Review my fellow team blue comrade, as we near the end of Review Day.
What can I say ?That you hit it right on the head of the nail? You sunk the ship? You hit a bulls-eye? You made the cut by the thighs score possible?
I'll keep it simply to this. This is perfect in describing the life of a writer. Everything you wrote is totally true. Making sure you complete your plot, not letting your characters fail, and having the feeling when you finally finish something. Then the thoughts you have when you put up your first writing. Boy was that intimidating, and painful when I got my first reviews. @Liaya. Thankfully they were gracious reviews.
And writing is definitely not child's play. It takes lots of hours thinking,typing, trying to get other people off the computer so you can writ:) and so on. Perfect bulls-eye Umaima.
Keep it up!
Happy Review Day!!!!

Thanks @Ary @Idrinkink @KittyCatMeow @Mardehoward @Audy @Temi for your reviews. They all helped a lot.

Umaima! Me just found one of your works (Muahahaha!) *clears throat* Let's start the review. *puts on serious ace*

1.First, meaning. Absolutely loving it! You capture a part of a writer's life very well. You give us a description of what we have to go through everyday in our lives and make us understand the hardships and gains in being a writer. So you nailed that down. *bows*

2. Second...grammar!*says it in a sing song voice* Now here we got a bit of a few (small ones, really) errors. Here is one:

See? Been a writer isn't a child's play!

What I love about this poem is that everything is TRUE. The way you have analysed your poem and the way you have made it sound so soothing. I loved how some of the stanzas perfectly rhymed. Some of it didnt rhyme so it felt a little weird.
I think that what a person writes themselves is the most original work ever produced. So.
The poem is really good.

I believe the message that you were trying to put in our heads is a decent one. However, I do believe that while I was reading this, it wasn't easy to flow at some points.

Should it be about that little frog
or that cute little whale,
that I had met in my dreams
before waking up in pain.

"After the long tiresome day
I sit alone thinking
apart from all the usual things
what should I write about?"

So true and a great way to start the poem! The title and that first stanza caught my attention, way to go!

"I thought that writers were the people
who sit, relax and finish.
But oh! Was I miserably wrong?
Because I just realized it's harder."

Good, honest and real! Everyone thinks that at first, including me! It's really surprising when you learn that

"You need to plot something,
you need to think another thing
and make sure that
none of your characters sink."

Complicated! You really made me smile while reading this! I'm totally impressed!

"And that special feeling you get within,
when finally you finish something.
Taking the risk to show it to others,
without knowing their opinions or anything."

Yes I get that, too! And last but not least,

"See? Been a writer isn't a child's play!
It's not as easy as it sounds to be,
In fact if someone would ask me my greatest adventure
I would say is drinking this cup of tea!"

OK, you have skills! I loved it! It's real, hilarious and calls anyone's attention! I REALLY enjoyed it, so I would REALLY live to keep reading from you! Please keep writing!

Keep up the good work!

~Marde!

Hey Umaima!

Don't mind me, I'm just gonna take a shot at this and dive right in!

First observation: I love the conversational tone in this. It's almost like we're right there with the speaker as he/she's saying all of this and it makes it pleasing to read and easy to get into. The rhyming I think, I'm split behind, (I'm one of those poets who automatically "ew" at the sight of a rhyme, they're like peas on a plate in that sense xD) but what I like about this is that the rhyme really lends itself into a playful mood and atmosphere with this poem xD The sing-song rhyming voice works in that manner. Certain word choices too have a really playful, juvenile thing to them: foolishest being the example that sticks to the mind, but I kind of like that -- it's unique and it made me smile.

Some of the other syntax though:

Though I cannot conclude
as a writer’s life is an ocean big

When I read this poem I feel like a lot's missing. You have a good concept but the mode of dispensation is quite faulty.

Good: There is simplicity and playfulness in the poem. Most writers get wrapped up in the drama of writing and lose sight of how simple it really is. There's also a good concept going on and a truthful voice that goes with it.

Bad: You need to go over the grammar usage in the poem. You made some spelling errors. Your choice of words are not mature enough to convey your concept.

You're writing about a writer's life. You have to understand the gravity of the concepts you write about; no matter how little.


Tend your flame, Umaima.