Young Writers Society

Should I get jealous or something?
You never wrote a poem for me.

Rawr. Heyyyyy umaima!

Ahem. Ok. You asked me to review this, so here I am!
Yup.
To be honest, I liked this poem okay, but I didn't understand the references very much, so it wasn't as funny as it could have been. I'm sure you and your friends have lots of inside jokes and this is hilarious! Just...not so much for me. The rhythm was a little strange, but overall I liked it.
My favorite line was

Because of his sweetness, I am at risk of Diabetes.

Hi Umaima!
this is SapphireFlames to the review!
ahhhh this poem totally reminds me of my annoying little brother who is called the jerry in my house well , (MR.JERRY reminds you of your friend). XD
Now getting on to the poem,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the poem, the flow is good and the rhyming was perfect I can say because the words you have chosen was perfect!

The thing that I mostly mention to most of the poets on YWS is the arrangement of each stanza. okay now getting on to this poem
everything is just fine the thing that bothers me a bit is the arrangement( as mentioned earlier)
take a look at the 6 , 7 , 8 th stanzas I find them quite different from all the stanzas in your poem.
The first set was fine and suddenly the stanzas just become wider, basically what I am tell you is that you need to have a consistency of the lines in each of your stanzas.

and then the next part of the review is the informality of few words.....
"So cum'on people, lets all give him a bow"
you have to change the "cum'on" you can change it like this:
Come on or C'mon something like that.

otherwise everything else is absolutely fine and I love this part of the poem:

" He is my thin Humpty Dumpty
who loves to break walls very abrumptly
and I am his messy princess
who wrote this poem to make his face priceless!"

its a fabulous poem and keep it up!
and the most important thing
Keep writing

This is a review. First of all, I think that your poem flows pretty nicely. I used to write poems a lot like this one. Although it doesn't have much depth or literary thought put into it, I always appreciate details. They make the memories more real for the reader. The questions were a cute touch. To improve your writing style in general, I recommend on being less concerned on shaping your poem around the rhymes. Some of the references are kind of cheesy because you can tell that the only reason they're there is because they rhyme. I understand that this was a silly dedicated poem but I see potential in your writing! Continue to dig deeper into the world and you can write some cool stuff!

Hey, I'm Kev! And just let me say, I adore this poem <3 It brings adorable onto a whole new level. It's always entertaining when friends try and embarrass one another; it reminds me of myself and all of my friends. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I can feel the friendship between you two being everlasting, so never ever let go of it!

I only found a few grammatical mistakes, and other than those, I'll leave your perfect poem alone. Since I don't usually review poems, please forgive me if I disturb anything that you wanted there intentionally.

And if he makes those cinnamon rolls,
I can even bite your fingers and eat bowls.

Unless you wanted your there, it should be his.

He's not a clown but the funniest person I know
so cum'on people, let's all give him a bow.

Cum'on should be c'mon (unless you wanted it to be that word HAHA).

And oh! should I tell you his biggest secret?

Should needs to be capitalized.

I don't want to purposely try and find faults in your poem, so I'm going to stop there and fawn over it a little more. Perfection. I can't wait to hear what his face looked like when he read this!