So few seem to know
the real disposition of that beloved hunk of wood,
or the way in which he really handled
a pesky conscience which
got in the way of each and every
misdeed of that miscreant.
The truth of the manner is,
that dear wooden boy took
a hammer to the head of the conscientious cricket,
left an ethereal smear of
virtuous intentions and hopes for the best
on a world unbefit to such goodness
I only wish it could
be so easy for me to dispose of my own
thoughts and indiscretions
in an equally befitting way;
my past would not speak so loud if only
crushed into a pretty pulp.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
I find this poem interesting for reasons which I can easily define. This is good. For one the poem is an interesting perspective on the psyche, that it is basically a slave to the subconscious primitive emotional brain. This is a disheartening reality. Our emotions are not part of our ego but rather part of a more primitive part of our instinctive coddler. Its also very fascinating to consider that "we" are generated by a plethora of constant routines and chemical proccesses. You suggest that pinochio was a sinister character who seeked unregulated indulgance. Good grammer and imagery, assisted by a vibrant vocabulary. I hope to see more from you like this.
Hi.
The title of this seemed rather vicious. XD
I must admit when I started reading I had no idea what you were talking about. XD
Only at this point did it start to make sense. Hee hee.
So the toybox is a metaphor for putting your thoughts into?
I am really confused by this work, it's well written, but it doesn't make sense:
Sorry, I just didn't get it. XD
Keep writing!
No, it's about Pinnochio. The puppet, from the Disney movie. With the conscience that took the form of a cricket, named Jiminy Cricket. The actual story (as opposed to the Disney one) has Pinnochio crush Jiminy with a hammer. Where'd you get toy box?
OMD. I read: "boy took" as toy box. -massive facepalm-
I am an idiot sowwy
Haha, no you're fine! I was just really curious
Hopefully it makes more sense now?
It does actually. Helps when people actually reads description
*thwaps own silly head*
It happens.
Hey there, rhiasofia!
HAHAHAHA! This is seriously hilarious! The title and the description got my attention right away. Very well done!
Although there is some very funny humor in this, I see the deepness in it as well. I love the line "I only wish it could be so easy for me to dispose of my own thoughts and indescretions"
(By the way, the correct spelling of that word is "indiscretions", but no biggie). That is so true. I mean, don't we all want to smash our conscience with a hammer sometimes? It makes us feel conflicted and holds us back from things that we want, but know are wrong.
This was very original and you took an interesting spin on the classic tale of Pinocchio. It's just proof that Disney will be teaching us life lessons for years to come.
Great job on this and keep doing what you're doing.
XOXO
Anabelle
Glad you liked it! Thanks for catching that spelling mess-up, I appreciate that.