this misery is subjective

Hai there. Allow me to comment on this lovely piece of yours!

There's little I can fault you on as far as content- though as a reader, I may not be able to draw what you mean from the context, but what I think of it as.
Your imagery and ways of showing this world to the audience is quite skilled. I admire it very much. People who have a special way with words always get to me.
Rather, their writing does.
I also like the way you set up each stanza to have one less line than the one prior. Was this intended?

I was also wondering if you meant for the first stanza to be lowercase while the other two are capitalized. It just threw me off a bit.

Very nicely done. I look forward to reading more.

The cards/house of cards metaphor is really great! I really like that! I often feel like this, too, like nobody really knows me and I'm putting up a false front, but the thing I really want is for someone to push past my front and comfort the real me. I mean, I don't know if that's exactly what this poem means to you, but this is art, after all--open to interpretation, meant to be interpreted--and that's how your poem speaks to me.

I only have a couple of suggestions, mostly just punctuation. First, it's not necessary that you capitalize "stop" in the first stanza, but do be consistent with capitalization. Capitalize both "stop" and "but" (in the last stanza) or leave both lowercase. I, personally, feel that capitalizing "stop" would be best. But whatever you feel like... you're the writer, of course.

The second line doesn't make much sense to me. If you read the first stanza as a sentence, it's confusing. Maybe change it to something like, "I secretly love/ when the salty taste of summer and home,/ the Gulf of My Eyes,/ pools and pulses like sea foam."

I've also noticed inconsistency in the end punctuation. Line two of the second stanza should probably have a comma at the end of it, and so should the first line of the last stanza.

I'm not sure how I feel about the phrasing of the last line of the second stanza, especially "the hold of dark." I get what you're saying, but to me, something's missing... I feel like there would be a better way to say that.

Great job! This poem is short and pithy and meaningful and beautiful. It made me think. Thank you.

~ jessiethought ~

Hey,

This is a really great poem. I have a few corrections however. In the first line of your poem the word stop should be capitalized as it is the first word in the poem. Next, in a poem every line should start off with a capital letter, this was pointed out to me by a friend who had, had someone be rather rude about it. Also Im curious about the line "I secretly love for" I honestly don't see why you need the word for. Here's the lines I would revise.
(S)stop my tears or they'll keep coming because(,)
I secretly love for (I secretly love)
(T)the salty taste of summer and home,
(T)the Gulf of My Eyes,
(T)to pool and pulse like sea foam.

I will fold(,) with a single word.
I am thin(,) and double-sided(.)
(No use of and) and I have a thousand games I play
to drag sad truths from the (move this the over two words) hold of (the) dark.

But, like a house of cards(,)
I am not quite so bold
(A)as I have built myself up to be(.)

All in all however this is a beautiful poem. It was very well written and Its full of emotion which is always a good thing. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Sincerely,
Collideascope