There is no star, nor all in union –
Can match the radiance of you.
The universe is a dusty shroud
It’s only you who shines through.
Now let all of creation be eclipsed -
Every celestial body snuffed out.
I want for no lark or nightingale
Sweeter are you even if you shout.
Burn all the worlds’ texts of faith
Gauged to you they are not divine.
I could listen to your words all day
Wisdom from your lips –
Sublime…
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139,430 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
Good work, kris! I like this poem. The only problem that I had was with the ending; it was a little too abrupt. I can't really tell why, but there's something that needs improvement around that part...
But otherwise...the poem was still great. The imagery and metaphors were good. Keep up the good work!
Hey Kris! So so so happy to see you've put something up... As usual this is.. *hem hem* to quote the author "Sublime".
Perhaps you could do something slightly different from the "all in union". Maybe if you just switched it to "all union"... somehow "all in union" doesn't sound quite right. What's in union?
I adore this stanza... blissful. Only thing I might change... I like that you have "shout" there, but it feels like you might just be having it there for the sake of rhyming. Personally, I don't like to restrict myself to only rhyming words, but to each his own. Just wanted you to know, it doesn't need to rhyme. You will not be judged.
Okay, I won't judge you.
Besides that, this is incandescent with shinyness.
Keep scribblin'!
RG