What would happen if we left this place right now?
Don't look at me like I've managed to lose my mind.
You know you've thought this way before.
We could be gone before they know we've left.
We could be free, we could taste the horizon.
Let's follow the echoes of the train whistles,
pursuing the essence of something more than what we are.
Nothing's impossible if you don't say it is.
I'm tired of being held back by notions of reality.
Let's break the rules and leave this town now.
Let's choose a star and follow it,
just walk in one direction until we find ourselves.
Maybe, in the quiet solace of a world we've discovered,
we will finally understand the purpose of our own lives.
Or maybe not, but I'm willing to risk it.
Stop shaking your head like my mind's gone wrong.
I'm tired of being told that my ideas are worthless.
For once, let's give in to the idea of something more.
Just this time, let's allow ourselves to lose control.
Let's get out of here tonight and find who we truly are.
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138,079 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
Hey there, Kitty's the name I chosed for this site, but Im not willing to mention my real name cuz I don't want any one to know it. not everyone uses their name for this site so I won't use mine lol.
Any ways, I loved you poem, I've got no critiques towards it.. it's lovely and very romantic, this is a love poem isn't it?
if it is, I loved it alot, seriously i did. this deserves a Like" Keep writing.
- Kitty
Hi! Have you got a first name? ( obviously ) I'm Amelia - nice to meet you! * shakes hands *! I don't think I've ever reviewed a piece of your's before - I'm looking forward to it!
Anyway, down to your poem. I really enjoyed it, first of all. Your username is really quite apt, because you seem to have a creative flare for poetry!
I loved the flow. It was a bit dodgy in places, where you cluttered your sentences up with too many conjunctive words, like here:
I'm tired of being held back by notions of reality.
This line is somehow too wordy, and doesn't exactly make an awful lot of sense. Let me put it this way: you could say what you're trying to say in a much simpler way.
I'm tired of the grip of reality - doesn't that sound more metaphorical and poetic?
As I said earlier, I do love this poem. I love the sincerity of your expression - it's truly lovely. I like how it sounds like the words are coming from your heart, not your head. Some may say that the topic is a little cliched, but I really like it.
Anyway, have a nice day!
really awesome.. keep writing the title of the poem really describes the poem