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139,407 Literary Works • 672,552 Reviews
HEY!
This is a good poem- I like the concept! 'Goodbye to Goodbyes'... certainly a thought-provoking title. One thing I would like to advice you on is to not use several adjectives to describe ( "... cruel, heartless, detestable...")- just choose the one that captures exactly what you want ( in this case, I would say 'heartless'). It's simple, but just one, defining word can have so much power! Other than that you composed a good poem which I enjoyed reading, so thankyou!
-Blossom
Helloo there creativityrules!!
I'm here to tell you that I like your poem! The others already took care of criticism and made suggestions so I'm not going to go there XD
There was a lot of emotion in this poem and I totally loved it. I hate goodbyes too =.=
Great job!
This part totally made it for me =)
Keep writing awesome stuff like this! *likes*
-qaralynn-
I actually really like this piece. I think it was all the relatable feelings that made it so good.
These are my suggestions:
A great beginning. One of my favorite lines is "They just make you numb,
make you understand how to manage". It has such a great bittersweet emotion that I connected with as a reader.
This stanza wasn't as strong. I think "to journey like a book-character" is unnecessary and takes away from it. As well,"I detest you with everything" I have a problem with the "with everything". Either take it out or elaborate, like 'I detest you to my very core' or something less corny than that.
My other favorite line in this was I thought that was a great way to say it than 'I never want to disappoint them'. I connected with that line.
So, those were my suggestions and comments. I really liked this piece. Never stop writing!
General opinion was a great poem with some minor issues.
First: Love the title and the opening line.
Second: Slight difficulty in reading the first stanza, so: i shortened the fourth line and broke the line after "understand" and brought the next line up to the same line as "make you understand."
The rest was great for the first stanza. love the ending three lines.
as it transitions to a great second stanza, with great cues as to the nature of the topic.
Love this line it just flows so effortlessly in sync with everything. Great overall poem.