Curtains of Scarlet Wind

I could tell you that I like this poem...but that would be an understatement It was excellent, I really loved it!! You used amazing imagery, and painstaking metaphors that kept reading until the end, which was perfect.

I didn't see many errors with punctuation lime other reviewers seemed to find, but I do agree that putting periods in the middle of the stanzas is not a very good idea. It wrecks the flow of the poem and makes the reader wonder why you didn't just break those two lines apart. It would make it a lot better.

Also, in the last stanza the line: “to shattered things, to taste ." “To taste," sounds off in that line because it breaks it up and makes that line and the one following that line both sound choppy.

These are just suggestion, as always, but the would improve your poem
Just keep writing-
Killyouwithwords

I love this poem. It is very interesting. One of my favorites, over all the only thing I noticed was the punctuation (Like other reviewers have noted), but that can be fixed easily.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to reading more poems of yours! This truely was an amazing piece.

This part:

'We are both flammable.

Why do we break each other?

Why must we press our hungry mouths

to shattered things, to taste

blood on fragmented windows

before we understand how to love? '

Was the best for me because it truly describes how I feel sometimes. I can relate.

Very good work! I'm impressed.

I thought this was a great poem. The message was very thought provoking and some of the
metaphors were superb.

My favorite line was the last line,
"Why must we press our hungry mouths
to shattered things, to taste
blood on fragmented windows
before we understand how to love?"

However, I do have a few nitpicks. The thing I took issue with was the punctuation. As a previous reviewer said, there isn't a right or wrong was to punctuate poetry, but something about the punctuation in this poem made it not flow as smoothly as it could have. This may just be my personal preference, but I would encourage you to rework some of the punctuation, especially the periods mid-stanza.

I thought this was a great poem. The message was very thought provoking and some of the
metaphors were superb.

My favorite line was the last line,
"Why must we press our hungry mouths
to shattered things, to taste
blood on fragmented windows
before we understand how to love?"

However, I do have a few nitpicks. The thing I took issue with was the punctuation. As a previous reviewer said, there isn't a right or wrong was to punctuate poetry, but something about the punctuation in this poem made it not flow as smoothly as it could have. This may just be my personal preference, but I would encourage you to rework some of the punctuation, especially the periods mid-stanza.

Wow. There really is nothing to say about this other than that it was amazing.

But, and this is something that is more about personal choice than any real issue with grammar, I know that personally whenever I read any poetical work on Young Writers Society I look at punctuation as well as grammar.

And in poetry, there typically is no right or wrong to punctuation placement. However, the rule of thumb that I tend to hold to is that whenever there is a punctuation mark, that is where I like to see the line end, both in my reviewing, and in my writing. Likewise, whenever the line ends a punctuation mark is placed there.

This really boils down to personal preference, and what the author feels suit his or her work the best. If it is not for you, then that is your prerogative. I just thought I would mention that too you since I know that it is something that I look at whenever I'm reviewing a work.

I hope this helps you in some way.

Happy Writing!
HT

Wow. I can't believe you've thought that up. It's amazing, I love it. I'm really going to consider poetry now.