A wise thing to keep in mind: "Do not over explain in a hundred pages that which can be understood in a sentence."
This is not always the case, if you have the beautiful language to do so, but it's very hard to keep a description interesting for more than a few sentences. Other whise it's just like "MOVE ON, OK???"
The length of this poem is great, as it get's the point accross perfectly, with regards the the subject being just the light of the coals. in their smile. Maybe if you switched the subject so something else regarding the characters likeness, you could have added a few stanzas maybe on their eyes, or skin, or whatever. But overall, And I am no poet, I was satisfied with this poem's ability to make the reader see, not just imagine. Bravo.
Points: 728
Reviews: 56
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