Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,407 Literary Works • 672,552 Reviews
I will start out saying ur poem is very good. At the beginning it sets a dark and mysterious tone. It is a meaningful poem with what you believe on the subject of death being the enemy. I loved it and think it is honestly good enough to be published in a poem book. That was amazing. Keep it up and you could be a very good and famous poet!
I am afraid that I have only a few tips on improving this poem. To start off I was simply blown away by the beauty of it. It was more than simply beautiful, it was gorgeous. Full of rich imagery and a beautiful meaning to boot. The only problem is that I feel like I just read two poems instead of one. The beauty of the imagery and the cosistant rhythm nearly hid the transition but there is definite point where you went from speaking of a person to speaking of death without wrapping up the story of the person or connecting it to the end somehow. So instead of one gorgeous poem you have two beautiful ones that don't quite connect except for containing similar imagery.
Forgive me if this was intentional. I realize everyone has their own way of writing poetry but this was the only real problem I noticed :3
I am afraid that I have only a few tips on improving this poem. To start off I was simply blown away by the beauty of it. It was more than simply beautiful, it was gorgeous. Full of rich imagery and a beautiful meaning to boot. The only problem is that I feel like I just read two poems instead of one. The beauty of the imagery and the cosistant rhythm nearly hid the transition but there is definite point where you went from speaking of a person to speaking of death without wrapping up the story of the person or connecting it to the end somehow. So instead of one gorgeous poem you have two beautiful ones that don't quite connect except for containing similar imagery.
Forgive me if this was intentional. I realize everyone has their own way of writing poetry but this was the only real problem I noticed :3