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139,407 Literary Works • 672,552 Reviews
Creativ!
I absolutely loved this! It was really confusing at first, but when I got the hang of it it was so much fun to read. It put a smile on my face. Very creative!
A very nice ending. I really liked it. And I loved your first three lines as well. I have no criticism.
Deanie x
Loving the nonsense and the sense.
Great second stanza. It could have devolved into a stereotypical, uncreative juxtaposition game, but it didn't. Nice job moving the argument forward and with the varied line lengths - that was fun to look at and read.
Third stanza is a bit too over-done for me to really like it... (Listen to or look at the lyrics for "'Libera Me' from Hell" to get an idea of what I mean by this being done already.)
Cute ending. A very whimsical challenge in keeping with the title - which in retrospect now reads as way more willfully stubborn (or tsundere...), haha. Quite great, actually, tricking the reader into thinking quite seriously about self-proclaimed nonsense. And while the sense is indeed there, I can't really make it out at this time. Cool piece, keep writing! =]