Chase your passion I'm told
I am unable to comply,
I am yet to find my true passion
I just don't know why
I've spent hours and hours discovering
Various things in my existence
Yet none of it- I feel
Are good enough for my consistence
_
I lack motivation they say,
For what -I ask
To give all my energy to a
Useless and uninteresting task
To work nonstop without questioning why?
To become an emotionless not
By hiding my true feelings and faking to be strong
Is that what I'm being taught?
_
I don't take inspiration they say,
From whom- I ask
From those ho work 9-5
Distressed, behind that smiling mask
From those idols who work diligently
Only to realise its the wrong idea and place
To find true happiness
Amid a never-ending 'who's-better' race.
_
They say all these things to me
You might be wondering who they are
Those aren't my enemies , but people I love
Those who want me to become a star
And yet their talk is so demotivating
It reduces my hope of living passionately
Because they aren't doing what they love either
And living quite inadequately.
_
I believe its more important to do what you love
Than to love what you do
Some people do the latter, which is good
Since that is important too
But for the rest, to whom
Work gives nothing more than a sigh
If I was in their shoes, would it have been wrong
If all I wanted was to die?
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140,071 Literary Works • 672,990 Reviews
Its nice that you have written a nice work worth a review. I love the poem titled "passion". Its a good one and I really enjoyed it so much, especially the last stanza, which is quiet sophisticated and amazingly beautiful. I couldn't really give a good compliment and analysis to your poem because I do not understand the structure of the poem, as I don't think that the title rhymes with the poem, which is one thing that anygood writer must be able to manage.
You don't just write for yourself because you aren't the one to review your own work and so you must define the context of clarity for your audience and readers to be able to comprehend.
Although the language of the poem isn't high sounding, yet the literary appreciation are cool.
Again, I want to point out this fact which is that you should always try to program your diction to suit your style of writing not just the technique and language alone.
Above all, its a really nice work.
Thanks for the review, akanbright
Hi, anne27,
Wow, I just read your poem! This poem is the most relatable and beautiful thing that I've read in a long time. You can see true character throughout it. I especially love the lines "From those who work 9-5/Distressed, behind that smiling mask". It really demonstrates the power of faking a smile.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this and hope to see more of your work.
Keep up the great work!
Thank you for the review, Pineapple!! Glad you enjoyed it:)
Hey anne27!
My name is Elinor, and I thought that I would drop by to give your poem a quick review. Thank you for sharing it on the site, and I hope you love the time that you've spent on YWS thusfar. I enjoyed reading the poem, and the message of it, especially as I feel it's something that many on this site could relate to. The poem also reminded me of the Carpenters song Mr. Guder, which has similar themes and was written about Richard Carpenter's boss when he worked at Disneyland.
I do think that the poem is structured well, but the main thing that I would comment on is flow. This can bee really hard to do, especially if you're writing free verse. And it's probably why I don't write more poetry myself. But, while I was reading this, I wasn't sure what made it feel poetic rather than a story broken up into stanzas, if that makes sense. To me, poetry is primarily about evoking a feeling above all else. The thesis of your poem is that you'd rather follow an uncertain path doing what you love than follow a "secure" life where you're unhappy. When you go through the poem again, if and when you decide to revise this, I would consider ways you could expand on your imagery.
The Beatles song A Day in the Life has a great moment where they allude to the repetitive, soul crushing nature of the daily grind --
It's bringing us into that moment in time while still being lyrical.
Hope this helps! Keep writing, and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.
All the best,
Elinor
Thanks for that heartwarming review, Elinor. I will definitely work more on my flow. But I think it'll come with more experience. I'll work harder for my next one. Thanks again.