Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic

E - Everyone

Passion?!

by anne27


Chase your passion I'm told

I am unable to comply,

I am yet to find my true passion

I just don't know why

I've spent hours and hours discovering

Various things in my existence

Yet none of it- I feel

Are good enough for my consistence

_

I lack motivation they say,

For what -I ask

To give all my energy to a 

Useless and uninteresting task

To work nonstop without questioning why?

To become an emotionless not

By hiding my true feelings and faking to be strong

Is that what I'm being taught?

_

I don't take inspiration they say,

From whom- I ask

From those ho work 9-5

Distressed, behind that smiling mask

From those idols who work diligently

Only to realise its the wrong idea and place

To find true happiness

Amid a never-ending 'who's-better' race.

_

They say all these things to me 

You might be wondering who they are

Those aren't my enemies , but people I love

Those who want me to become a star

And yet their talk is so demotivating

It reduces my hope of living passionately

Because they aren't doing what they love either

And living quite inadequately.

_

I believe its more important to do what you love

Than to love what you do

Some people do the latter, which is good

Since that is important too

But for the rest, to whom

Work gives nothing more than a sigh

If I was in their shoes, would it have been wrong

If all I wanted was to die?


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
56 Reviews


Points: 2648
Reviews: 56

Donate
Sat Mar 27, 2021 8:01 am
View Likes
akanbright wrote a review...



Its nice that you have written a nice work worth a review. I love the poem titled "passion". Its a good one and I really enjoyed it so much, especially the last stanza, which is quiet sophisticated and amazingly beautiful. I couldn't really give a good compliment and analysis to your poem because I do not understand the structure of the poem, as I don't think that the title rhymes with the poem, which is one thing that anygood writer must be able to manage.
You don't just write for yourself because you aren't the one to review your own work and so you must define the context of clarity for your audience and readers to be able to comprehend.
Although the language of the poem isn't high sounding, yet the literary appreciation are cool.
Again, I want to point out this fact which is that you should always try to program your diction to suit your style of writing not just the technique and language alone.
Above all, its a really nice work.




anne27 says...


Thanks for the review, akanbright :)



User avatar
50 Reviews


Points: 108
Reviews: 50

Donate
Fri Mar 26, 2021 8:00 pm
View Likes
pineapple321 wrote a review...



Hi, anne27,

Wow, I just read your poem! This poem is the most relatable and beautiful thing that I've read in a long time. You can see true character throughout it. I especially love the lines "From those who work 9-5/Distressed, behind that smiling mask". It really demonstrates the power of faking a smile.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this and hope to see more of your work.

Keep up the great work!




anne27 says...


Thank you for the review, Pineapple!! Glad you enjoyed it:)



User avatar
1250 Reviews


Points: 4300
Reviews: 1250

Donate
Fri Mar 26, 2021 3:56 pm
View Likes
Elinor wrote a review...



Hey anne27!

My name is Elinor, and I thought that I would drop by to give your poem a quick review. Thank you for sharing it on the site, and I hope you love the time that you've spent on YWS thusfar. I enjoyed reading the poem, and the message of it, especially as I feel it's something that many on this site could relate to. The poem also reminded me of the Carpenters song Mr. Guder, which has similar themes and was written about Richard Carpenter's boss when he worked at Disneyland.

I do think that the poem is structured well, but the main thing that I would comment on is flow. This can bee really hard to do, especially if you're writing free verse. And it's probably why I don't write more poetry myself. But, while I was reading this, I wasn't sure what made it feel poetic rather than a story broken up into stanzas, if that makes sense. To me, poetry is primarily about evoking a feeling above all else. The thesis of your poem is that you'd rather follow an uncertain path doing what you love than follow a "secure" life where you're unhappy. When you go through the poem again, if and when you decide to revise this, I would consider ways you could expand on your imagery.

The Beatles song A Day in the Life has a great moment where they allude to the repetitive, soul crushing nature of the daily grind --

Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream


It's bringing us into that moment in time while still being lyrical.

Hope this helps! Keep writing, and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

All the best,
Elinor




anne27 says...


Thanks for that heartwarming review, Elinor. I will definitely work more on my flow. But I think it'll come with more experience. I'll work harder for my next one. Thanks again. :)




“It doesn’t matter what you are, it only matters what you do. It’s your choice.”
— Sam Winchester