Young Writers Society

Hey there, mordax here! Loved this poem, so let's get to it!

I'm lack that skill

I think you mean "I lack that skill"

I'm angry too

And thus defiant

This is just a suggestion, but I think the "and thus defiant" isn't necessary and takes away from the impact of the point you are trying to make. You already state that defiance and anger correlate, so by then following that claim with "I am angry", the readers know that you are also defiant, and making that connection is much more gratifying than just reading it.

Asks me to do it once more

I do the opposite

Same, lol

That's the end of it- its over

I would suggest removing the "of it" after "end". Seeing as "it" it followed by and "it's", it feels redundant and would flow better without the former.

This method succeeds though.

This is your first time using punctuation disregarding the exclamation point in the prior quote, and it confused me as I read because then I was thinking that the entirety of the preceding lines were all a part of this one long sentence. If you are going to use punctuation, I suggest making it have a pattern or some sort of repetition. I understand if you are trying to emphasize this one line, and if that is the case, then you can make it the end of a stanza and continue the rest of the poem in another stanza.

Believe me, even though I've never seen the devil

But I bet I couldn't be more scared

I was a bit confused here. Are you saying that you would be less scared of the devil than of living in that moment? There is no issue with ambiguity in poetry, but I was only confused because of the formatting. If these two lines were in one stanza together or if each of the lines were grouped rather than in one list, I think that would bring deeper meaning to your poem.

Cause, I'm not interested

In computer science.

Mmm I know people like this....

Overall, I really enjoyed your poem. It almost felt like a rant, like and exhaustive, fuming, verbal unload on this judgment children receive for not knowing or not liking the same things as our fellow adults. I could really relate to it and could feel that anger, which props to you.

Great job and keep writing!

Mordax

So I'm very tech-oriented and am still not sure if I would like to memorize all the technicalities. (though I probably could if I wanted to) That being said everybody has different things that interest them.

Now one thing I noticed about this poem is that the sentences are not coherent enough. (obviously, there is enough for me to get the point you were trying to make.) Even in a poem, a sentence is the same, no matter how it's split up. For instance :

Constant nagging, do this and that

I cant , I'm lack that skill

Those two lines are their own sentence and probably should be written more like this:

Constant nagging, do this and that
I can't, I lack that skill.

Overall a great poem that expresses what we all feel sometimes. You have the right point. I think all this poem needs is some touch-ups and it'll be right as rain. I look forward to seeing more from you. Until then, happy writing!