Hi anne!
First Impressions
Overall I think the poem leaves a melancholic taste in the reader’s mouth. It’s a contemplative piece that focuses on the ‘I’, the speaker and how they are feeling, and then tries to make a leap and generalize that to talking about the world. I kind of find the image of “footprints on cement” pretty memorable. It conveys to me a sense of impermanence, like something that might be swept away? But also at the same time, if someone stepped in wet cement, then the imprint of their feet would be preserved the way it was when they walked in it.
Subject, Themes and Interpretation
I interpreted the speaker as starting off with an accusatory tone, addressing the listener with “you”. “You” to me comes across as very direct. The first line “You gave me . . . I grabbed at that . .. thinking it’s the best thing life could bring” sets the narrative of the poem up for the “best thing” to turn out not to be so great after all. “I had mistaken” and “I hadn’t known” suggests regret, but it turns back to the speaker’s accusation of the listener, followed by the final two lines that sum up the message of the poem.
The themes in this that stand out to me the most are change and time. The poem has two stanzas which contrast past and present, supporting the idea that what once was never will be again. Something that was interesting to me was the image “footprints silenced and welcomed at the same time”. I’m not really sure what to make of it. Is the silence comforting to the speaker and that’s why it’s generally described as something positive?
Imagery and Language
The contrast between “wet muddy ground” and “the wet and stony cemented floor” is the main turning point in the poem. I thought it was a neat concept, because it conveys the idea of leaving a mark on someone in a very physical way, allowing for descriptions like the “footprints” and the change from “entry” (something that can be easily walked through) to “gate” implying a kind of resistance.
“My footprints didn’t match the ones in the description” reminded me of something corporate, like a ‘job description’ or maybe a ‘product description’. So it makes the addressee seem cold and businesslike. The building with the “muddy ground” becomes more of an office building, almost. Was the place in the first stanza perhaps meant to be a garden or a building? I’m not sure, now that I think about it.
Sound and Structure
silenced and welcomed at the same time. I
wanted to walk on that heaven for lot more than one
time. So that my feet remembered the ground even as they
There seems to be a lot of enjambment in this poem, especially in sections like the above. ‘I’ is cut off from ‘wanted’ and ‘one’ is cut off from ‘time’, interrupting the phrase. I have a bit of a hard time understanding the rhythm of the piece, because the first few lines of the poem don’t have much enjambment, and then suddenly every line has it.
I was also a bit puzzled by why the last line had two question marks “??”. That made it read a bit like a text message or an informal email to me, whereas the rest of the poem sounds so introspective, as though the speaker isn’t – really – saying this to the listener, but just thinking or feeling it.
Something I liked was how you used punctuation to vary the ‘units’ of the rhythm within some of the lines.
time. So that my feet remembered the ground even as they
changed, as I progressed in life- improving. My feet grew too.
The dash before ‘improving’ and the comma after ‘changed’ sort of split that part up into three sections, each with a different syllable count. And then the full stop creates a stronger sense of pausing/ division in the rhythm before “My feet grew too.”. I thought this created a sense of activity, like a lot is happening in short bursts, moving forward through the poem.
Overall
If I had to give this poem a classification, I’d say it’s a kind of confessional poem. The pauses and the voice seem very intimate and personal, which is why like I said earlier it kind of reads as though it’s happening within the speaker’s own mind. It’s structured and focused pretty well I think around that key contrast between the way a place/person was in the past and the way they are now, though perhaps it might be interesting to try building on the specifics of those images. For example, what are the smells, the sounds associated with the “heart” in question?
Hope this is helpful, and keep writing!
-Lim
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Reviews: 542
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