Young Writers Society

hello hello! i’m lillianna, and i’m here to review your work anne! i hope this is helpful for you.

let’s start off with the first stanza: first off, the flow is amazing! i love the subtlety of the rhyming, so it’s not a younger twister but still has a sort of rhythm to it. i also like the personification of the wind. the imagery is superb!

next, the second stanza: i feel like, compared to the last one, it is a little bit of a different style. it sounds more urban, if that makes any sense? the use of “like” in the second line takes away from the poem.

the third stanza: i do like this stanza, however again with the urbanization of the poem. it takes away from the flow.

now the fourth stanza: i really enjoyed reading this. it’s very satisfying to read because it has this beautiful flow to it, and paints this wonderful image in my mind. you did a wonderful job here, it’s my favourite stanza. and the personification is beautiful as well.

the fifth stanza: this is the runner up for my favourite stanza. i love all the personification and imagery here. the comparison is wonderful. well done!

next, the sixth stanza: this is a strong ending to the poem. it shows just how ignorant humans are. we go to sleep pretending like the world will solve itself. the flow is wonderful, with the slight rhymes on the endings of the lines giving a rhythmic and almost song like feel to the poem.

the final stanza: i have to fawn over the personification once again. putting the sun in this position of pain when it is one of the most powerful things in our universe is incredible.

well done! i love this poem so much. i feel you and i have very similar styles, so that is probably one of the reasons why. you are such a talented poet, and i can’t wait to hear more from you. i hope this was helpful!

~lillianna

Hello @anne27 ,
I think this was a very good poem. It condenses the difficulties of this year in very good way.
I liked the way you have personified the natural characters of wind,sun etc. I agree with the mistakes outlined by @Dest .
I hope to see more work from you.
It was really good.

Hello! Here are my thoughts.

First, I like your idea of humanizing weather, in a sense. You also gave me a feeling of nostalgia. I loved reading poems that rhymed when I was kid. They are some of my favorites and take a lot of skill to do well.

Is now showing it's arrogance

So we sleep along with winter nights

And in the morn, the Sun peeks from theshore