Young Writers Society

Hey Catie here dropping by to give you a review. Again this is absolutely stunning. Your writing is so full of emotion. I would just go through and check your spelling on a few things like the first time you've mentioned holes you spelt it wrong.Bu other than that I would not change anything it's absolutely excellent. I love this piece as well as some of your others. Keep up the great work.

Hey Catie here dropping by to give you a review. Again this is absolutely stunning. Your writing is so full of emotion. I would just go through and check your spelling on a few things like the first time you've mentioned holes you spelt it wrong.Bu other than that I would not change anything it's absolutely excellent. I love this piece as well as some of your others. Keep up the great work.

Hi Grace4life here to review your work OK first of all WOW, it was true and meaningful.I really loved it really defined how a person feels when filled with guilt actually that is how i feel when I'm filled with guilt. I loved how you went deeper about how guilt makes a person feel i specially loved the "Inner guilt" I just love every word of it it was truly great and can not wait to read more of your work.
Continue writing because you good at it
Thank you.....

Hi, Lee's here to review your poem!

I enjoyed reading both. There's a good choice of words, substantial imagery, and the topics themselves are pretty interesting. However, allow me to nitpick a little.

I'm not going to point out the spelling mistakes and typos that @Haraya already found, but I did notice not all your "I"s are capitalized.

It pounces on me whence

The time sees and flies

Leaving me in a pit to loll

Hey there! Welcome to YWS! Haraya here to review your poem "The Inner Guilt."

First of all, I see you labelled this poem as Art. To change this, you can go to the Publishing Center. I think the setting is under Edit your Portfolio.

About me, I always appreciate good imagery and I read interesting ones in your poem.

"It gnaws on my conscience
Like a cat on its prey
It pounces on me..."

I liked this series of lines. Using "gnaw" was very powerful. It already implies the pain and pang of guilt is deep within you. Then you compare it to suddenness or predatoriness of a cat. It creates an immediate situation, where you were unprepared.

There were some vague lines in your poem, however.

"I hate it very much
It promises darkness to me..."

I wish you made the reader feel how much you hate the feeling instead of just telling us. How does it feel to be gnawed at by guilt? I think it would have been interesting if you had described it. The following line hard to picture for me. Maybe replace darkness with a more vivid image like storms?

"The time sees and flies"
I didn't understand what you meant by the time seeing. What does it see? I think you need to clarify this.

Nonetheless, many times when you used imagery, I'd say it was effective. How guilt creates holes and leads you to a pit and how showers don't clean it were really nice. It conveyed your message wonderfully.

Just some typos I'd like to point out:
"It gnaws on my conscience"
- the "i" in conscience has a dash

"It creates big hoes in the ground"
- I think you mean "holes."

"Leaving me ibn a pit to loll"
- I think you mean "in"

That's all! Sorry I couldn't review your other poem, but pretty sure there would be others who would happily do it for you. Again, welcome to YWS!

Hey there! Welcome to YWS! Haraya here to review your poem "The Inner Guilt."

First of all, I see you labelled this poem as Art. To change this, you can go to the Publishing Center. I think the setting is under Edit your Portfolio.

About me, I always appreciate good imagery and I read interesting ones in your poem.

"It gnaws on my conscience
Like a cat on its prey
It pounces on me..."

I liked this series of lines. Using "gnaw" was very powerful. It already implies the pain and pang of guilt is deep within you. Then you compare it to suddenness or predatoriness of a cat. It creates an immediate situation, where you were unprepared.

There were some vague lines in your poem, however.

"I hate it very much
It promises darkness to me..."

I wish you made the reader feel how much you hate the feeling instead of just telling us. How does it feel to be gnawed at by guilt? I think it would have been interesting if you had described it. The following line hard to picture for me. Maybe replace darkness with a more vivid image like storms?

"The time sees and flies"
I didn't understand what you meant by the time seeing. What does it see? I think you need to clarify this.

Nonetheless, many times when you used imagery, I'd say it was effective. How guilt creates holes and leads you to a pit and how showers don't clean it were really nice. It conveyed your message wonderfully.

Just some typos I'd like to point out:
"It gnaws on my conscience"
- the "i" in conscience has a dash

"It creates big hoes in the ground"
- I think you mean "holes."

"Leaving me ibn a pit to loll"
- I think you mean "in"

That's all! Sorry I couldn't review your other poem, but pretty sure there would be others who would happily do it for you. Again, welcome to YWS!