Young Writers Society

Back again with a review, the poem was really touching and sad. I felt like crying when reading it. The way it is constructed is really good.I was really touched by stanza 4 last line cause it is something i went through once, what she went through was really sad and many do not make it they just can not take it no more.As a community we are quick to judge why she or he committed suicide without knowing their story.So in my point of view i feel like this poem shedding some light or showing people that do not judge before you really know what they went through. Well to me that how i saw the poem and i really loved a lot, whoah the rhyming i do not know what to say it, it is linking, connecting and flowing i love the rhythm of the poem. One favor please teach me how make my poem rhyme like how yours is rhyming:).

hi anne! i’m lillianna, and i’m here to leave a quick but hopefully helpful review on your poem here. alright, let’s get straight into the review...

starting with the first stanza: i love the third person perspective! i normally don’t see that and don’t usually do that myself so it makes this poem all the more interesting to read. the imagery is absolutely beautiful here. enough said. i’m living for this stanza and the way it’s describing the morning.

now the second stanza: this has to be my favourite stanza. i really like the almost rhyming, it gives it a nice flow without being a tongue twister. i very much can relate to this stanza, so i love it.

next, the third stanza: i really like this one as well. it perfectly puts into words in the simplest way possible what every girl thinks when we see these perfect cover girls that society put as the unrealistic standard for beauty.

the fourth stanza: i think that the parentheses in this stanza takes away from the flow a bit. i think that a simple comma would suffice instead. i love the “synonym of perfection” here. it really is a unique way to put it, and i really felt like it paints a picture in the readers head.

finally, the fifth stanza: this stanza is so incredibly sad. i do think it is a good ending to the poem though. it gives a conclusion to the story.

overall, i really liked this. it brings attention to this issue society has created of beauty standards. please keep writing, because you have so much talent. have a lovely day!
~lillianna

Dear Anne27,
I'll be your mirror, reflecting the beauty you are. It is found in the caring you loving show this poetic expression, the ultimate compassion passed on like a passion from your writer's heart to mine. Beautiful is the word!
Never flawless, since beauty is not found in faultlessness-in faultlessness, be it physically, spiritually, or written word wise, there lies only generic and boring laboratory monstrosities.. If, as I propose, true beauty is found in FEELING, should not depictions of beauty always FEEL beautiful, reflecting the beauty that is? The phrase, "shining like a pearl" seems rather wrote, like a laboratory creation, hardly doing emotional justice to the picture you aimed to paint.
For example, never simply say to a man (or women, or...WHATEVER, plug in variable) "your eyes shine like pearls." Say instead, your eyes are like mermaids in sunshine, promulgating a beauty seemingly from within your innermost being."
Dear Mirror, reflect others' beauty, to better reflect the beauty you truly are! In case you don't know, were you s real woman, not "merely" written word, I could believe in "love at first sight", since to read you is to love you.

Wow, amazing this a great poem. I love it, I love how you telling the story. Your choice of words just links, since I am cooking now I do a review later. Amazing poem and I really enjoyed it.

This poem is so sad because I think so many of us see this happening either to ourselves or people around us to some extent. You did an incredible job capturing the sobering reality of comparison and impossible beauty standards in a way that really makes me think about it in a new light. I love the concept of the mirror draining away her energy day by day as all this girl can think about are her flaws.

Poetry is really whatever you want to make it, so feel free to forget my suggestions if they are not helpful! However, I have two main pieces of feedback. First, there are a few places where the grammar and syntax of the poem seems inconsistent, which interrupts the flow of the poem. Try reading the poem out loud and this might help highlight any lines where the rhythm seems off. You can also put the poem into something like Grammarly which is mostly set up for essays but at least will highlight anywhere subject/verb agreement is off. Second, even if a darker tone is what you are going for, adding some moments of hope and light can make the contrast even greater. Maybe showing the impact kind words have on her and how that twists over time or something of the like can add a moment of hope that will make the lure of the mirror seem even more disturbing.

Hope this feedback helps! Let me know if you have any questions. Keep on writing!