Young Writers Society

Hi, its Caite giving you giving you a review. I absolutely just loved it. I can relate so well to your poem. I love the description words and how well I can feel your pain.Your writing brought tears to my eyes. I absolutely just loved it so breathtaking. Great job with this piece of art. I especially love the ending line. it just feel like it brings all this to a closer.

Hi, its Caite giving you giving you a review. I absolutely just loved it. I can relate so well to your poem. I love the description words and how well I can feel your pain.Your writing brought tears to my eyes. I absolutely just loved it so breathtaking. Great job with this piece of art. I especially love the ending line. it just feel like it brings all this to a closer.

Hi, its Caite giving you giving you a review. I absolutely just loved it. I can relate so well to your poem. I love the description words and how well I can feel your pain.Your writing brought tears to my eyes. I absolutely just loved it so breathtaking. Great job with this piece of art.

Hello! My name is Via and I'm here for a review! So... let's get started!

Mood, Tone, Perspective, Themes, and Narrative

This poem is beautiful. The theme and mood are well established and clear. You can tell this is about depression or some sort of mental illness and negative feelings. You can feel these emotions in the lines. The choice of sentences with descriptions of the thoughts, are very relatable to those who associate with these feelings.

Because I suffer from depression, this hits home! So it touched my heart in the best way.

Because of how straightforward it is, its impossible to get confused. So kudos to you!

Language, Diction, and Style

Obviously, every descriptive word is well chosen. I love these lines in particular for the imagery and metaphorical thinking.

To live with people who hardly know me

To find companions in this lonely sea

To grab the root of the problem tree.

To grab the root of the problem tree.

To be happy, laugh or to live

This poem has a lot of potential. It touched my heart. The title given piqued my interest. This is such a relatable piece. Every teenager's life reality. This poem has been written from your deepest emotions and it's powerful in so many ways. Thank you for sharing this. This is a beautiful piece
Keep writing and growing!

This poem was such a succinct and powerfully put lament. I hope if this is something you've felt, that you find that you are able to have the strength, or find something to lean on until you do. <3 The emotions of the poem were very powerfully expressed.

Meaning
The poem was pretty straightforward, I interpreted to be that the speaker was sort of rehashing how they had come to the end of their line and they just don't feel they have the strength, the second line shows the progression they can't seem to find happiness, and now are not sure they can event have the strength to go on living, so are in a very dark place. The poem ends in this same dark place where the speaker isn't sure they can open their eyes for another day.

Highlights
I think the poem was perfectly lengthed for what was being expressed, it was concise and really the message came across very vividly. You have a few nice metaphors in here like the "lonely sea" and the "doormat" - these two images aren't quite in the same imagery family, but are still simple and straightforward to understand.

I also thought the rhyming was gentle enough that it connected the stanzas together, but didn't distract or feel forced at all.

Suggestions
I think one place where the poem could have been clearer is rather than saying "problem tree" which doesn't really evoke for the reader any clue what the problem could be, maybe you could replace the word "problem" with the actual problem they are facing, whatever it is (maybe lonliness? sadness? depression? anger? darkness?) this would give more meaning to the line, rather than just "problem" which a bit too ambiguous to give the reader an idea for meaning. And that's all I could think of!

Thank you for sharing anne! Keep on writing!

~alliyah

Hey anne27!!!! here's my say on your distinctive poem


firstly your poem speaks for all those people out there who are struggling with their own battles , who feel lost ,helpless and traumatized by the torment and anguish found around or within them.....

your poem is touching and despairing yet it sparks a sense of tenderness, empathy and concern in readers. Your poem successfully also brings awareness in the aspect of self doubt, self harm ,depression and anxiety .
In a nutshell your poem is truly different as chalk and cheese yet such poems should be widespread so that people know that they aren't alone

Hi Anne! Incoming review!

Just a opening word that you are able to endure. If you need help, you can endure. If you feel like you can't, you can. With that said let me get on to the review!

I'll start out with critique.

To ask for forgiveness or to forgive

To take love from others or to give.

To grab the root of the problem- tree.

To always feel the darkest grey

To let my condition stay this way

To open my eyes for another day.