She shines my days the fairy she is
Guarding me from every negative ray
And guides my way with her smile
Keeping me joyous every day.
~~~
She is there for me as if she were family
The one who always catches my jokes
Who accepts me as I am and
Always loves me more than other folks.
~~~
One thing I regret is I'm not the only one for her
She has a lot of other mates
I'm envious of her attentions, scared
Of the separation it creates.
~~~
I remember the day when I asked the Lord
Mine isn't enough, I want another sis
No reply- none; I was disappointed
'Cause I wasn't expecting this...
~~~
I got the sister I asked for, in another form
Disguised as a friend
She knows it not, I value her dearly
For me, she is a godsend!
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140,866 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
This is a joyful celebration of one who's weirdness matches your own, the recognition of such weirdness being commonly identified as, "love." And nearly as perfect as your joint soul mating dance, but for a missed comma here: "She shines, my days the fairy she is." But think of it as a tiny irrelevant detail, much like a tiny mole decorating your left butt cheek, in no way detracting from your intense, borderline obsessive, (for who but a love crazed maniac would worry about the separation caused by her Bosom's Bestie having other, as weirdly wrote, "mates?)" emotional connection. A "Godsent" emotional connection so deep that, let me assure you, surely does not need this poetic expression or declaration, and knows nothing of time or distance, but, like a sense of longing, only grows stronger with absence. When you are blessed with such a loved gift, don't squander time worrying pointlessly about when it may leave you-enloy every preciously weird moment you have together.
Thanks for another beautiful review yumi
. I'll enjoy my precious moments
There is a good rhyme scheme to this and also good uses of repetition. There is also good use of form as well with with each stanza having a consistent rhyme scheme and also each stanza has a unique topic to it despite all of the topics being unified under a single theme. Also I like how there is a good combination of literal lines and figurative lines, though there are more literal lines than figurative, poems don't always have to be wrapped in riddles so this still works well at conveying a message. That said this is quite a good poem.
Thank you for the review Blake
. I'm grateful you like my work
Awesome poem! This is such a cute poem <333333333
First though, I don't have much to say about this poem that is negative, but there are a few things.
I think it's better to write 'Cause instead of Cuz, since it makes the poem more formal.
The third line here should be "No reply-- none; I was disappointed"
There should be a space between "Every" and "day".
Negative things aside, this is a very nice poem, even though it's not very dramatic (As I love dramatic poems), but there is absolutely nothing wrong with a non-dramatic poem! The rhyming is great and the meter is perfect. There are no technical poetry issues here, and the poem is magnificent!
Anyways, can't wait for more of your work~
Bon Voyage!
-y0sH!
Thanks a lot for the review y0sH( if I can call you that)...I'll look into the errors!! Merci Beaucoup!
It's actually just yoshi.
(The "i" is replaced by an exclamation mark,)
De rien!
Oh OK!
I'll keel that in mind!!
Hey Anne27,
Great job writing this piece, I'm usually not one for poetry but this was a fun and easy read.
The very last paragraph especially was so true for me in my friendships.
The one thing I saw is that "I remember the day when I asked the lord" The lord should be capitalized I believe.
Keep up the great writing, would love to see more of your work.
Merry Christmas
Thanks a lot josierae!!( I like that name!)
Yes, I'll look into it.
Great poem. It is written with a good flow to it.
The ending of the poem was put together very well and allows for the readers own reflection on their own close friends and how much the people around them mean to them.
It is also always good to have a friend that you can consider a brother or sister to you. Those are the best of friends and the ones that stick around for a long time. Do not forget how much that friend means to you.
You seem like a great friend to your friends.
Thanks for the review Andy!! Yes I know, it really feels special when you can call your friend a sister and vice versa.. Thanks a ton for viewing me as a great friend too!!