I am a black rose
Born along with all reds
Different than all, prettier than none
No attention is given to me
By the visitors of our garden
So, the gardener wants to make me red
He thinks I'm just a dried-out rotten rose
He thinks he can make me red
If he encourages me to grow up special
So that's what he does
Day and night, try to make me bloom red
But he is frustrated, so am I
Because his toil is futile
My color is still black
He doesn't even try to know my pros
My cons overwhelm him so much
He doesn't understand my uniqueness
The comparison to other prettier ones
Blinds him so much
He can't hear the wind being as happy around me
His hatred towards me deafens him so much
He doesn't ever touch me kindly
My rare color disgusts him so much
Sometimes, I think, he regrets giving life to me
'Cause among all the 'virtuous' reds,
I am not the best.
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Here's a poem that deals with the "issue" of uniqueness, although is it really an issue? Is the one black rose truly a defect among all these red ones? I like this one because it gives us a lot to think about. Personally I do not think that you black rose, are any worse than the others. People will not always understand that things that are different aren't worse or broken, sometimes even we won't notice that. The flower metaphor work really well too, in the aspect that, all kinds of uniqueness can be attached to it. People who find themselves discriminated for all sorts of reasons can understand this poem. I think that is a great strength of this piece. It's very relatable and full of emotion. I liked it a lot.
Very beautifully said MellyBourne!! And thanks a lot for the review
. It made my day !
Hey Anne! Here with a short review!
I have spotted one grammatical mistake:
Put a hyphen between dried and out.
I just love the poem and your thought process too. You have used an awesome metaphor: You have compared the gardener with the parents and the black rose as a child whom they didn't want. You well portrayed the feelings of the rose, i.e. the child. You did a great job on applying the metaphor throughout the poem and of course, in presenting to your readers a bitter truth, i.e. People don't see the uniqueness of people. They just go with the flow and see everything as how the rest of the World sees it without developing their own feelings, their own opinion. It also shows how we try to change our appearance or rather how ppl try to change our appearance. How we wear a facade rather than showing ourselves, our own self.
Here, I would suggest to write that so in the next line. In that line, it feels to be a bit obsolete.
Overall, it was an excellent read. Keep writing!
~Forever
Thanks for the review Forever!! I've made the changes. Hope it's better now.
It looks great and you're welcome
It looks great and you're welcome
It looks great and you're welcome
It looks great and you're welcome
Hello, Anne! I'm here to give you a little review.
First of all, I love the theme of your poem. The way I've interpreted it is that the gardener represents a disapproving parent while the black rose is a child that isn't quite how their parents want them. It's beautiful symbolism, and you do a great job of painting a picture of this garden, of that rose's home. I can imagine thick rose bushes and a sea of red petals with a single black flower in the middle. And I can hear the gardener cursing at this rose who refuses to turn red, the way he tugs at the petals and disturbs the stem. One thing I would like to say is that the last line doesn't need the exclamation points. I found it jarring to see two of them, and it spoiled the line. Also, it made it sound almost childish, for the lack of a better term. However, that is a stylistic choice, and you should take my opinion with a grain of salt. All in all, it was a good and relatable poem. I hope to see more from you. Cheers!
- Lorde
Hey Lorde! You got it! Thanks for the review. I really appreciate it
thanks for pointing it out. I hope the fullstop makes the last line better.
Oh, I like that! Nice change.