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140,610 Literary Works • 673,552 Reviews
I liked it but i kind of felt like it wasn't complete.
I wanted it to be longer because it was really good, i think if it was longer it would be literally perfect.
you have a nice style in writing.
My favorite part was
"I'll go to my dreams
And take back my memory
Of when we first met
When I lost myself."
I love it!
I understand where you're coming from with the whole guy you wish you'd never met thing ha I have loads of poems about that! I think this has a lot of good base parts for a few different poems. I agree that it's not compleat yet but I would take the parts you like most and elaborate more. Over all it's full of good emotion and ideas.
Hey!
The reason behind this poem, in my opinion, was hard to grasp. I didn't really see what you were getting at and it felt like a lot of fragments ... I too felt it was cut short.
Overall though I thought it was a locvely poem and I could really feel raw emotions pouring out of the lines and I really believe this poem has very good potential . However I think it is a little short and missing something....some verve like rythm or a metaphor ...something.
But, hey, you already have a really nice poem and it's just my opinion
~Kat
Very nice poem! I feel like it maybe got cut a little short, because I wanted it to go on! The only issues I saw were that you forgot the apostraphe in "It's" in the 3rd stanza, and I felt like the very first line was a bit long. Other than that, it was really great. And like the first reviewer pointed out, the poem had a smooth flow that could almost be musical.
My favorite stanza was the 4th stanza:
"It's what I'm afraid of
It's why I'm unsure
Because this nothing we have
Will never be more"
Very emotional, and real. I'd always rather read about a hopeless/tragic/imperfect love than a goey/artificial/perfect one. Again, great job, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
~Alliyah~
Wow, OK. This is a love poem, right?
OK I'm going to say that this poem is really good. What I've understand is that this is a love poem, and well, the girl or guy (because it could really be either) fell in love and from then on the person got kind of afraid that nothing will ever happen between them.
"It's what I'm afraid of
It's why I'm unsure
Because this nothing we have
Will never be more"
This stanza is really tragic and adds a sad touch to this poem. So I think it's really romantic and somehow let's you feel the pain the author is feeling.
"I'll go to my dreams
And take back my memory
Of when we first met
When I lost myself."
And this stanza confirms that the person wants to go back to security and happiness. Go back to the feeling that ever since they met, the person has lost. It's great! I loved it!
I hope I can read more from you!
Keep up the good work!
These sound like song lyrics. Prettttttty cool yo.