Icey, silver glitters of frost,
They fall, they cover us as we walk,
They hit me in cold, wet, hard spheres,
They fall to the earth as frozen tears,
White and shiney blankets of snow,
And you're behind me where ever I go,
We lay as angels on the less green grass,
And make a snow man till the free hours pass,
Timeless and traditional as the winter goes,
I kiss you and my palms have froze,
I take your hands and laugh you know,
We may only have a while to go,
It's like ten years ago, you said to me,
We were singing around this Christmas tree,
Love is timeless, as is the snow,
They stay with me where ever I go. ♥
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I didn't see any mistakes, so good job:) Beautifully written, I could imagine everything perfectly. Keep on writing.
Hi SakuraFallsSweetly,
I didn't see any mistakes except for the first word: Icey, and the word shiney in the second stanza Isn't it suppose to be Icy, and Shiny???? Other than that it was a great poem and Beautifully written. The only thing that I would change is the first stanza, the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th lines. You seem to tell the reader how the snow falls, instead of showing them how the snow falls.
For example you said
They fall, they cover us as we walk,
Instead try saying:
They hit the ground covering us as we walked
Once again, it was an excellent piece, and I hope that I helped.
-lilgreendots <3
Awesome descriptive words =]
great poem! i don't see any mistake in it. perfectly beautiful =D