Just another light-hearted little poem. Wrote this today after an incident. Hope you enjoy!
Trust is when a house is a home,
And when it is broken you're left all alone.
It's having a shoulder to take up the tears,
Two against the world, facing their fears.
It's laughing and crying all in one,
Having somewhere to turn when there's nowhere to run.
It's being there when you're far away,
Its always having the right thing to say.
It's knowing someone the way you know me,
Its never having somewhere to be.
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139,636 Literary Works • 672,636 Reviews
First off, I am naturally predisposed to love this poem because I alway love poems written in couplets. That being said, your poem is no exception. I particularly enjoyed the second and third couplets:
My one critique is that I really didn't understand the last line. The final couple should narrow your topic back from the abstract and figurative to the actual relationship you are adressing. The first line of the last couplet does that perfectly, but the second seemed kind of random.
Seriously though, I really really liked the feel and flow of this poem. Each stanza was great build up. Excellent, excellent poem!
Hey Sakura,
So I guess this is just a general review. And on that, I liked it. It is a lighthearted poem, like you said, and it has that same effect. A nice pleasant warm feeling. Nothing too dramatic, but nothing to not like either. My favorite stanza's were:
This will be short, much like the poem. There are no grammar things to correct because... well... It is so short I would hope you have all grammar things fixed and you did.
The rhyming was nice and didn't sound forced at all. It was overall a really nice read.
-HostofHorus