I think you can all unserstand what this is about...
Ladies and gentleman, I welcome you to the show,
You are about to witness the greatest act you'll ever know.
Don't be startled, nor be hesitant to cry,
For emotions of the theatre are anything but shy.
Acting like mine, comes with years of training,
To fool you all with your own trust that I proceed to be gaining.
So take your seats, and observe with your own eyes,
The honesty that can follow up on far too many lies.
This role is difficult, and not too many would dare to play it,
Undeniably unbelievable and anything but transparent.
So watch on edge, the actors you could or would have been,
For tonight ladies and gentleman, I am playing the role of me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,613 Literary Works • 673,552 Reviews
I thought this was a forum role play, and I was kind of disappointed that it was not, but the poem you wrote is very good. In my opinion, the rhythm does not flow very smoothly because some of the lines are different lengths. Also, in the last two stanzas, the rhymes were not that good and you misspelled "understand" and some of the wording is a bit awkward. But the message of being yourself makes up for that, and the acting metaphors are absolutely perfect. My favorite line is the last one, where you say you are playing the part of yourself.
Hey, I really loved this.
One thing you should change is when you say 'undenably unbleavable and anything but transparent'.
You should change it to 'Undeniable, unblelivavle and anything transport'
It just seems more 'flowly'.
I loved the confediance I could feel from this poem. I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work. x
I agree with ty, I loved the poem overall and it was really easy to relate to, but the ending didn't blend. I think it's because of the "I am playing the role of me" part. You could put a line break after gentleman (which should be gentlemen)so that the "been" and "gentlemen" will end the two lines in rhyme, and then rewrite the "I am playing the role of me" to flow better. Am I making any sense? Over all I thought it was well written, and an interesting take on something that 90% of the world can relate to. good job : )
Up to the last line, this piece was really good. The material you used and the imagery really caught me and didn't let me go. But then I hit the last line. And instead of being interested I was a little upset that i read it. =\. The ending didn't flow as well as the other lines, and it didn't rhyme like the others either. In some pieces of writing, that kind of thing is ok. But it didn't work for this piece. Maybe work on it a little. Overall good, ending just didn't blend.